Aibu to think im starting to be judged for not being (lower) 'middle class' enough, and disliking it?

[Sparkles10]

I have never really thought about the idea of class much but i guess my husband and i have similar backgrounds. We both grew up in a typical 4 bed detached home, went to the local comp, did well at uni and now have relatively good jobs - not high flyers but middle & senior management type positions.

We spent quite a bit of our money travelling when in our 20s so didn't have a huge house deposit and ended up buying a modest house that we are happy with. We are also quite careful with our money and drive old cars and shop at Lidl/Aldi so we can save for our future; holidays, spends for the kids, the house etc. However we are generous with our friends & family and like spending on nice holidays.

Anyway now we are in our 30s/40s I've noticed that many of our friends are leading a different lifestyle. They drive brand new cars, shop at Waitrose, drink certain brands of coffee, shop at certain clothes outlets etc.

What is starting to bother me is that some of our friends/family have now started making quite regular comments like why don't we buy new cars (we choose to save our car allowances rather than spend them and that's apparantly not a good thing).
They also talk generally about how chavvy some of the supermarkets we shop at are and diss certain clothes brands i might buy sometimes.

Im starting to feel like they are viewing us as less successful because we choose to lead a different, less materialistic lifestyle to them. I feel a bit down about this considering that educationally and financially we have done just as well and in some cases a lot better than these friends and family members, who are in a lot of debt to fund their more lavish lifestyles. However im even annoyed at myself for these comments making me feel that i have to define doing well in those terms because i think people have no right to comment on what we drive and where we shop regardless of how much money we might or might not have.

Aibu to be annoyed by this peer pressure to conform to this so called middle class lifestyle that's propped up by so much debt, or should i just give up and spend loads a month on a new car and start drinking craft gin and decorate my home with wallpaper from Laura Ashley?!

I know that deep down our real friends couldn't care less about what we do and that i shouldn't worry about what others think but i guess I'm just a bit cheesed off.

In other words, you have been reported. Take care, now. You are on s slippery slope.

...a slippery

I was going to comment on this post but it appears to have been hijacked and turned into a squabble about being a landlord to 13 people yadda yadda yadda!!

Anyway OP what I wanted to say is.....keep shopping in Aldi - teach your kids you don't need to shop at Waitrose to eat well.

Keep driving what ever you flipping well want.

Spend on travelling - anywhere and everywhere!

But please do drink gin (nice Aldi or Lidl one is fine!) with nice tonic. I've loved gin since before it was cool!!

Sod those who look down on you because secretly they are jealous that you don't feel you have to keep up with the Jones's

Jim, I don't think op is reading. She never came back after her initial post...

You are right Fanny!! It's like having a conversation in the dark on your own!!!

Personal abuse reported.

I intend to “keep reporting you” - if you last that long. If you continue as you are doing, the mods might have to consider banning you.

HTH

Ihatemycar I've reported you too.

Rose clearly dislikes commercial landlords, but that's no reason to launch repeated bitter personal attacks on her, it doesn't make you look great or support your case to anyone reading the thread.

As an aside if you hate your car, perhaps invest in a new one

I'd clearly commented without reading through what others had written and, shag me sideways, what a vile keyboard fight that turned out to be!!

Turns out other people need to sit quietly in a dark corner and have a little word with themselves!! I teach my children that if they wouldn't say it in a pub then don't say it online with a pseudo-name!!

Hi there everyone,

We can see the thread has got a bit heated but please remember to stick to our talk guidelines - as usual, any posts that break them will be deleted.

Another take on this - innyesterday’s Guardian.

Guardian Weekend: gal-dem takeover
I’m (probably) middle-class now. And can I say, it’s a bit of all right
I did the ultimate middle-class thing: I went camping in France. One guy even brought his own parmesan grater!

Coco Khan
Coco Khan
@cocobyname
Fri 10 Aug 2018 09.00 EDT

...in yesterday’s

Maybe they’ve paid off their mortgage so have cash to flash and assume everyone else does too. By that age you could have racked up a couple of redundancies between you, some inheritance, bonuses, made money selling first property etc. If you’re good friends you may know more about each other’s situations but otherwise, these friends sound like they assume you’re the same as them as should be enjoying life by spending money.

OP if you are secure in your own choices, don't worry about what other people think of you. It says more about then then it does about you..

But please do buy some decent coffee.

My friends and I differ massively (some are very well off, some are single parents, some live with parents in their thirties... etc). We never discuss this stuff though, certainly not to suggest that someone should spend more on a car! Maybe it helps that my friends don't all know one another. Groups of friends seem to end up with these situations.

Op the people you describe are not middle class.

No one with any financial sense buys a new car.

Op is not reading! And possibly never has
..

Don’t worry about it, who’d want to be middle class