Do you ever regret having had children?

[Snomade]

Apologies for the thread title. I'm not sure how to say this.
I am late thirties so, if I am going to have children, it would be soon I suppose.
However, I have a horrible anxiety that I would not enjoy it and that I would regret it. So I haven't, but I do worry that I may regret it if I don't.
No one really admits to this in real life so its difficult to talk about, but from the outside, some parents that I know, do seem very unhappy.
It is such a monumental decision. I admire people that just know that they want to be parents. I kind of wish I feel like that.

Yes, the stress of a baby and pnd ended my marriage (and nearly mine and babies life). It has utterly changed me, in many ways for the better though, but I still wish I hadn’t gone through it. And being a single mum is hard. I think if you are not feeling ‘maternal’ listen to your gut and don’t do it

Never.

I adore them. Even when they're being ghastly

I had 3 in my thirties - the time has gone so, so quickly. They're 16, 13 & 10 now.

I love it, love being a mum, love having a family.

I love my son to bits but if I had known what it would be like I might not have done it.

More than anything else is the bone crushing never ending worry about him. That will never go. It makes me feel incredibly vulnerable.

It's why I'm not having another.

My ds is the best thing that ever happened to me. I only wish I had gotten my career in order before having him, as it is more difficult now.

I love my kids, they are the best things in my life. Having a big family is great. They keep you young. Good luck.

Never. Not for a second.

Just wish i could have had more of them ( i have 2 ).

Plus - and this sounds odd, the strength of love is terrifying. I honestly can't describe it, if consumes me.

Yes that's exactly how I feel. Exactly.

Nope but tbh I’m not sure I regret anything much except hurting people I love. Everything is a learning experience and an adventure.

I would still have children if I had my time over, but my DH wouldn’t. He didn’t want DC in the first place and the fact (in his mind) he has been ‘proved right’ has put a huge strain on our marriage. I’d still choose the DC over my marriage any day however

If I knew in advance how it would push me to my limits mentally ,and that because my parents divorced and it fucked me up,meaning I would never get divorced no matter what ,because I had children....then actually no..no I wouldn't of had kids....but maybe it's a good thing we don't ever know what's round the corner or no one would ever do anything x

No, never. But I'm glad they're grown up now.

I haven't, although it is far harder than I could have ever imagined and I definitely don't always enjoy it. I like my own space and time, and I really dislike when dd insists on me watching her cartwheels for the 950th time in a row, when she has known how to cartwheels for about 2 years and is far from a new skill. Her constant switched-on-ness is exhausting, and her newly blossoming tween attitude is infuriating, made worse because I know it will be a few years of getting worse before it even roughly gets better!! I find parenting is much more "meh" as she gets older, whereas I thought it would be better as the years passed.
But...She is awesome. She is funny and kind and beautiful and just like me and yet nothing like me. I love her with a fierceness that is scary at times and she is so precious to me that the thought of her going out into the world sometimes makes me want to cry. It's a very strange mixture of emotions I never expected. I don't regret having her at all. I do wish I had been older and more settled though, I lost a chunk of my 20s when all my friends were saving and getting a career and now I'm early 30s with no savings and still renting and I feel it's hard to catch up.

No but I often worry about it. I love my children very much but sometimes the responsibility feels overwhelming. I worry about how decisions I've made will impact them, whether I can give them a good quality of life, what kind of world have I brought them into.

I worry about the kind of world I have brought my children into. One where we are ruining the environment, global warming, terrorism. I worry about their future and wonder if it was a wise thing to do to have children.

It’s fooking amazing. I get to relive my childhood when playing with my DS. Hearing his little laugh gives me more joy than anything else in the world. 😍

I don’t regret them and love them to bits but knowing now how hard it is, maybe not. I sometimes feel resentful.

yes i regret it

My life would be a lot freer, and my mental health would be better

there are flashes of time where it's bloody hard but I'm a LP with very little support. I imagine it would be very different with a supportive network and / or partner around. That said as DS gets bigger there seem to be less difficult times. But baby to age around 4 I found shockingly hard and at times thought I would be better off dead! That said I had terrible PND. So yes regret in a way at the situation but never towards DS who is amazing and well loved. And nowadays it's much more fun. He's so cool!

I don’t always enjoy it!
I sometimes look enviously at couples enjoying themselves (especially on holiday - what I experience is the complete opposite of what a holiday should be!!)
But do I regret it - NEVER. They are amazing - absolutely amazing. I often look at them - especially when they are sleeping & i’ve had a glass of wine to destress - and think how could I create them.

It’s obviously not for everyone, but for me it was the right thing

Plus with all that being said....I want to do it again but need fertility treatment this time around so I will probably lose a chunk of my 30s too, with all being well!

Absolutely not. I had a lot of problems trying to conceive my kids. When I eventually managed to have first child I was certainly shocked and went through a v short WTF period. However the love I felt when I first saw her was so utterly consuming. The same with my second. Whilst there are the obviously pitfalls, stress, worry etc attached, there is no love like it and I am so glad I’m a mum.

I always think of itvas the biggest gamble - you never know how it will turn out. High high risks for an amazing return - if all goes well

No. My mum was very surprised when my first ds was born when I was 27 - I was never interested in kids until I had my own, she said I never played with dolls or wanted anything to do with babies.

I have 2 now and whilst it’s hard work it’s the best thing I ever did.

Bit of a cliche post, sorry!

No. I've never regretted it. The sleepless nights aren't fun....the labour is very painful....they cost a lot of money... they impact on your social life...but still I NEVER have regrets.

They bring me a lot of joy and pride.... and I can still say that while they're teenagers.

In hindsight I wouldn’t have had them so young and I wouldn’t have had them with xH. I was too young to realise that he wasn’t the one for me and my soulmate, I naively did think we would last ‘forever’ hence having three DC with him. Now we have been separated for 3.5 years and I’m bloody stuck with him for at least another twelve years. He’s been absolutely useless since we split as well, barely sees the DC and pays naff all. He’s also a bit dumb, I didn’t realise that when I was younger but it was one of the reasons I eventually left him. He’s not who I want my DC to aspire to be like.

DP, on the other hand, is great and I’m very happy to be having a child within this secure relationship. I’m also happy my DC have his influence more than their Dad’s, he’s stronger, intellectual and more stable.

I would always have had children, I just think the timing was off and wish I’d waited.