I'm sorry @IloveGandT but you've described an abusive relationship, not a great one. Not even a normal one.
Three of your updates have left me sadly thinking "textbook abuse", including this one:
We had a man round the other day to fix our boiler and my husband said to me 'I saw you looking at the boiler man!' i told him he was being ridiculous and that looking at a man does not mean I want to cheat! He then replied with 'good. Because if you cheat on me with him, I'm going to beat him up'
I imagine the reason for the responses you had from family and friends is that they see this and are worried for you.
Please don't try counselling - at least not couples counselling - it is always actively discouraged in cases of abuse because the abusive party uses it to get you to accept responsibility for the abuse and tie you in more deeply. Counselling alone, for yourself, would not hurt, preferably with a therapist experienced with the dynamics of abuse.
The only thing I can guarantee is that he won't change, there is nothing you can do to change him - just like absolutely nothing you have tried has stopped him accusing you of cheating on a daily basis.
Abuse isn't about violence (although it may include violence) - it is about power and control. The cheating accusations are to make you change and restrict your behaviour.
For whatever reason, perhaps because of the length of time you've been with him and dealing with his behaviour, your sense of what is normal, healthy and acceptable in a relationship is very much distorted.
I highly recommend you get yourself a place on the Freedom Programme. It will help you wrap your head around all of this and find a way forward. It also teaches what healthy (genuinely great) relationships look like. You don't have to share anything personal, you can just listen, and they won't tell you what to do. But they are very supportive and can signpost you to help if you ask. Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
It's not throwing something away, it's giving yourself the chance of a healthy future with someone who won't behave like this, won't treat you like this. If anything, he's done you a massive favour by giving you the opportunity to have this realisation now, before you brought children into the situation - this way you can have a clean break and won't be tied to him for life by a child.
I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would strongly encourage you to do the Freedom Programme and if you were my friend I would be incredibly relieved if you asked for my help in leaving him.