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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To charge 18 year old dd rent?

327 replies

troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 11:05

Dd has just finished college. Not going to uni this year but maybe next year if she can decide on a course.

She's just got a job in a shop.minimum wage. Wibu to ask her for rent? And if so how much?

OP posts:
itbemay · 03/08/2018 11:08

my DD is 18 next week, has an internship earning minimum wage, we don't ask her for rent. If she was earning more we would. She pays a lot for travel etc so I don't think it would be fair right now, but in the future I would.

araiwa · 03/08/2018 11:09

Full time job- pay rent

Apprentice, student, part time- no rent

AlphaBravo · 03/08/2018 11:10

10%. Yanbu. But put it in savings for her (dont tell her that though)

Merryoldgoat · 03/08/2018 11:11

Personally I wouldn’t on minimum wage - I’d provide board and food but wouldn’t fund things like phones, clothes, personal toiletries etc.

youngestisapsycho · 03/08/2018 11:11

If it's just for year and she is off to Uni next year, then no I wouldn't. Are you wanting to ask her because you need the money?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 03/08/2018 11:11

Agree with above poster, unless it's a full time paid job then I wouldn't charge rent. At least she will have her own money and won't be relying on you for it.

KTyoupigeon · 03/08/2018 11:12

How about making sure she is saving some of her wages towards spending money for Uni? If she isn't able to save then maybe take some money from her and save it for her. My daughter has finished Uni and has a job whilst clearing her student overdraft and then she is saving for a masters degree so we have decided not to charge her any rent this year

Yogafailure · 03/08/2018 11:14

Nope my eldest is turning 19 and only has a wee part time job. Until he's working full time I won't ask him for digs. I'd rather he saved his money to move out 😉

Aprilsinparis · 03/08/2018 11:14

I wouldn't but H would.

sprinklesandsauce · 03/08/2018 11:16

If she is working then she should pay rent. If she is not in education then she should be working full time, unless you can afford to subsidise her lifestyle and are happy to.

I think that KT's suggestion is a good one, if you don't need the rent then take it off her and save it for when she goes to uni.

You should start charging her now, because it is setting the ground rules and getting her used to real life in that you have to pay your own way.

Original poster
troodiedoo · 03/08/2018 11:17

Truthfully yes I could do with a contribution from her. I'm not working at the moment as I'm a sahm to other pre school age child.

I have savings put by to help her with uni costs if/when she does go.

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 03/08/2018 11:18

If she's in education, no.
If she's earning and not in education then your council tax will increase so absolutely charge her rent. She'll no was be able to cover the increase in tax, her food, what she costs to keep but it will help to teach her the value of money

londonrach · 03/08/2018 11:18

Yes. If working she needs to pay you something even if its £30 on less a week.

Nikephorus · 03/08/2018 11:19

I'm not working at the moment as I'm a sahm to other pre school age child.
So she'll feel like she's paying for her sibling! In that case definitely don't. You'll build up resentment.

Barmaid101 · 03/08/2018 11:21

If not in education they yes charge her rent!
We plan on charging ours rent when they come out of education but plan to put that money to the side to help them with a house deposit when a bit older. So long as we are in a position not to need to use the rent which hopefully we shouldn’t

happypoobum · 03/08/2018 11:21

The issue here is whether OP needs that money. She may have just lost tax credits and child maintenance as well as child benefit - she could be hundreds of pounds down a moth.

If you don't need it OP, and if she is working 25 hours a week or more I would take some and save it for her.

If you do need it/if she is working FT, then I believe a third is the going rate.

Fleuried · 03/08/2018 11:22

I'm going to sound harsh here but if she is in a full time job, then yes, I'd ask for rent. If she was in the real world she'd have to live on that as plenty of people do.

I wouldn't ask for much though. Maybe 10-20%?

Unless I needed it to help run the house I would put the money into a savings account for her either for when she goes to uni or towards a house etc. I wouldn't tell her though.

I'd also be strongly encouraging her to save a large portion of her wages while she doesn't "need" them.

BunnyColvin · 03/08/2018 11:24

If she's working full time, she should be contributing something imo. Having another adult in the house isn't just food, it's heat, light, hot water etc etc. What about sitting down and working out her net earnings and coming up with a figure that's acceptable to both of you?

I'd be disappointed if my kids at 18 assumed they'd be getting a free ride at home if they were earning a full-time wage, even minimum.

Fleuried · 03/08/2018 11:25

Sorry, meant a job, not just full time.

If she was in education then I wouldn't.

PatriarchyPersonified · 03/08/2018 11:26

The issue here is whether OP needs the money

No it isn't, it is the principle. If you work, you pay your way.

I'd take a percentage (10-15%) on principle. Personally I'd save it up without telling them and buy something they need with it but you don't have to do that.

We live in a world where you pay your way, teach your kids that or you risk permanently infantilising them.

Flickerfromview · 03/08/2018 11:27

Like the idea of her paying you something and you saving it but perhaps that isn't going to work.

I do think adult DC's should be responsible and therefore even a small contribution would help you. I also think that this can add to young adults self esteem. Would a compromise be that you agree with your daughter that she buys the family takeaway each Friday' ( fill in something that is regular to your family or can be built in) or is there something that you already regularly pay for - her toiletries for instance - this responsibility could be handed back to her.

xoguineas · 03/08/2018 11:27

I paid rent as soon as I left school and got a (below) minimum wage job. Also paid whilst a student at university as well. I wanted to help out my parents and didn't pay an unreasonable amount. I don't think YABU.

Mrskeats · 03/08/2018 11:28

Wouldn't dream of it personally though plenty do charge.

mostdays · 03/08/2018 11:29

If you need it then yes, if not then no- or in that situation, take it but save it for her.

If she's doing 4 hours at the min wage for 18 year olds her net pay is around £225 a week.

mostdays · 03/08/2018 11:29

*40 hours

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