To charge 18 year old dd rent?

[troodiedoo]

Dd has just finished college. Not going to uni this year but maybe next year if she can decide on a course.

She's just got a job in a shop.minimum wage. Wibu to ask her for rent? And if so how much?

Mine have both paid rent, a nominal peppercorn amount. They are adults and why shouldn’t they be treated as adults.

Tbh why hasn’t your dd offered OP?

Well. At 17 I earned £40 a week, remember those youth training schemes / slave labour and my mother took half. Yes half.

I'm not saying she was right. She was a horribly abusive parent and this was just another way for her to control me.

However, minimum wage now isn't terrible, she can definitely afford to chip in a little even if it's just a token. 10-20%

I wasn't charged until I was making a full time 'proper' wage. I worked full time but was on minimum wage so barely made £900 a month and had to get transport and food most days. It allowed me to learn to drive and get things like phone bills in my name to build up my credit score, and also a couple years to enjoy myself before I had to start knuckelling down! Growing up with a single parent and not much to spare, my mum believed in letting me have some teen-time to enjoy my life a bit first

My youngest dc is 20 works a pt min wage job she is saving for uni next year thats fine she doesn'ttake advantage of living here free she bungs washing in cooks etc etc if she is still here when she has a full time wage then we will ask for a contribution.

When my son was at college he worked part time, I never took a penny off him. Sometimes he would be making around £600 a month and I was paying for his phone. He never offered any money or lifted a finger round the house.

When he left college he got a full time job. With commission he was earning between £1000 to £1400 a month and I lost maintenance, tax credits and child benefit and unfortunately I really needed the money.

As he was now working full time I said he had to pay board and thought £200 a month was fair. That covered all his board, lifts to work, his phone and washing and all meals etc.

He went mental, said I was ripping him off, making money from him, what did he get in return for it, which was nothing really apart from, daily hot showers, all toiletries provided, WiFi, gas, electric, sky tv, all his washing done, meals cooked, lifts to work, lifts to his friends houses, his mobile phone paid for oh and the rent on the house. But I was ripping him off. His £200 a month didn’t even cover the gas and electric.

So he moved out into a house share and pays £400a month rent and has to buy his own food and is doing it on his own. Except for the constant texts asking to lend him money and the £800 I had to stump up to pay his rent when he lost his job and fell behind with his rent last year. Still not got my money back.

And yet he still tells people I was ripping him off.

I would say at least the amount that council goes up plus a bit towards the food shop and have any TV packages that she uses etc.
Having your child turn 18 is expensive! You lose any help and you start paying more council tax! It doesn't need to be a lot but it will help the family and will teach her how to budget.

If you are losing child benefit and maintenance then it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for something to counterbalance this.
Alternatively take some off her and present it to her for uni (look I've saved all the rent paid for you) then use some of the savings you already have earmarked for this, for general expenditure. Depends on how you want to dress it up.

I think in terms of teaching your DD responsibilities of being an adult she should pay a nominal amount towards the cost of food, electricity etc. For example if she is earning £200 per week ask her to pay you £20 and save another £20 .

If you don't do this she will spend the whole of her wages on nights out, make up, Nando's etc and it will be a massive shock for her when she starts university and has to budget for herself. £20 is a reasonable expectation of food costs and what I'll be telling my teen they will need to budget for pretty much as a minimum.

Not actually rent as such but a contribution towards bills including council tax and food shop (unless she buys her own) very reasonable.

I would charge rent but not a lot £100/200 per month and put it in a savings account for her, (obviously don't tell her that) she won't thank you now but she will later... I worked from 15 around college apprenticeship etc I pissed the money up the wall because i didn't think anything of it, I paid £100 rent and for a car the rest was spent on crap because I had no self discipline when it came to money, I wish id have saved or my mum had made me pay more rent and put some of it into savings for me

I think it depends.

If you really need the money then she is part of the family and can help.

If you don't desperately need the money I'd start a financial education deal.

15% is going into you one of those first time buyers isa's. Maybe another 5% in an emergency fund. I think it is good to start her on the right track with finances now.
Also make her take advantage of whatever the occupational pension scheme is.

I'd check up on it periodically with them.

I think giving your child good habits now will be invaluable for later life.

My brother is 22 and pays £200 A month (not enough imo as he makes about £1200 A month and fritters the rest on fast food and holidays and complains when there's not any food in the house which my mum pays for). My partner lived at home till he was 25 and paid 50% to his parents who put it into their ISA and gave it back to him for a deposit on a house when he was ready. His sister also did the same.

Discuss it with her and suggest something like saving some money for books and such like for Uni.

My SIL asked for a wages contribution to household expenses from our niece from her part time job whilst she was in lower sixth. She also required her to find part of the travel for her overseas charity trip this summer. I think the latter is reasonable but not the former.

My eldest two had weekend jobs when they were 16. That was their money to spend as they were 16 and we were financially responsible for them. Once they turned 18 they paid into the family expenses fund. Becoming an adult brings a sense of responsibility.

My youngest is 16. She has a weekend job. She knows that once she turns 18 she has to contribute to the family pot or move out and fully financially support herself.

I know which she will choose. It's a no brainer. 18 is an adult. No longer a child.

I saved some of the eldest contributions for them and gave it to them when they were looking for a deposit for their houses. I'll do the same for youngest.

It does them no harm to learn how much living costs - even if they get it back as a lump sum later, as a surprise, for that time in their lives when they most need it. Its better than letting them squander it.

Having your child turn 18 is expensive! You lose any help and you start paying more council tax

Only if the state were supporting the child in the first place. Like thousands of others we won't lose any help or have to pay more council tax when ours turn 18.

Expecting them to make a household contribution re cooking etc is one thing but telling them they need to make a financial contribution as they are an adult when not doing the same yourself is very contradictory.

Not taking board doesn't mean they are being treated like a child. It's giving them the means to start their own savings etc and the knowledge that this remained their home and they don't have to pay to reside in it. They will do that once they have their own home.

Op said she was losing child benefit and maintenance so I'm guessing it's at least a couple of hundred depending on maintenance payments. That's not state funded (obviously child benefit is from the state but unless you earn really good money you get it)
Also I thought everyone pays council tax once the reach 18 unless exempt for some reason...

Correct @lapenguin
It is now clear to me that I should base her contribution on her living costs. What we will be losing in cm and cb is irrelevant, I'll
just have to suck that up.

Also I will go through with her all the bills, I think she will be surprised. With everything online these days, a lot of teens probably have no idea of household costs.

Also thanks to whoever reported me for being a pbp nice try, dingbat!

Boxset

If you are the only adult over 18 living in a property you pay 75% that’s standard across the board it’s not a benefit given from the state

Therefore if your a solo parent for whatever reason and your dc leaves education turns 18 then you have to pay 100% council tax

Not all households have two adults in and not all households claim from the state

A lot of teens don't know how much it costs to live alone. I think this will be a valuable teaching moment!

Expecting them to make a household contribution re cooking etc is one thing but telling them they need to make a financial contribution as they are an adult when not doing the same yourself is very contradictory.
Exactly this.

living costs? it’s your child not some random lodger. If the loss of benefits is going to impact you so much why not return to work instead of relying on the state to top up your income.

Child maintenance is not a benefit.

If dd was a sahm which is massively unlikey, but if she was I wouldn't take money off her. Neither would I call her worthless and say she's not contributing.

If I was working I would still ask her to contribute. I'm not a high earner.

Why does everyone thing that OP is on benefits, she gets CB which all earners under £60k get and child maintenance which is not a benefit, also she is not a single parent. The council tax thing of 25% reduction if only one adult applies to all not just those on benefits but would not apply in OPs case as she has a DH.

Why don't people read the posts properly, why do they think she is on benefits.

Also you can't report someone as a PBP just because you don't agree with their posts.

Seems you can @WhentheDealGoesDown and mn take the reporters word for it. But an email from me saying I'm not a pbb was enough to reinstate me

After graduating I went on Job Seekers Allowance for 3 months until I found a job. My mum made me give her half my JSA for rent, which didnt leave a lot to live on. When I did find a job, the rent increased to 20% of my pay. This seemed a lot at the time when lots of my friends were living at home rent free, but I'm now 28 and completely financially independent, renting privately in London, no debt except my student loan, and ready to get on the property ladder soon. I think charging rent helps young people to become financially and generally independent (I've heard so many people say they can't move out because they can't afford to pay rent when they absolutely can, they're just genuinely worried about how they'll adjust to their monthly costs increasing so much). However, I think quietly putting the rent received into a savings account each month and gifting it back later e.g. to help them buy their first home, is quite a nice idea if you can afford to do it.