To charge 18 year old dd rent?

[troodiedoo]

Dd has just finished college. Not going to uni this year but maybe next year if she can decide on a course.

She's just got a job in a shop.minimum wage. Wibu to ask her for rent? And if so how much?

@Nikephorus you have fallen into the trap of thinking that childcare and child rearing isn't work.

How is she going to pay her student fees? I would encourage her to get a FT job and save as much as she can!

I wouldn't if she is planning on taking a year out tell her she can save for uni buy her own toiletries and any special food that isn't in the usual shopping saying that if you are struggiling then ask for a contribution. I don't understand the take money and save it for her thing when DC1 lived here she had a good salary so she contributed to the household.

@AnnieAnoniMoose you really don't want joint accounts with people you aren't married to for the sake of your own credit rating.

You are better of getting the board/housekeeping money off them and saving it for them.

My ds has been paying keep since he was 16 he gives us 70 per month her earns 400pm

When he starts his traineeship in a few weeks he will be on 14k a year I only earn 16k we will then up it to 100pm

If not in education they yes charge her rent!

I don't understand that, tbh.

She'll be on £5.90 an hour. A Student maintenance grant would bring in more.

It's much more sensible to wait to go on to University, if you are unsure of what you want to do. It's a hell of a lot of debt, if it's wasted.

My DD buys her own clothes, food and toiletries. I'm not petty, I get us a bottle of wine/BBQ food/take away, occasionally.

If she starts to blow her money on nothing, then charge her.

They need more support, longer, but it was common for Adult children to stay at home, until they married, in the past.

I'd encourage her to learn to drive, or at least get her Provisional Licence and work on the Theory test.

With mine, I also taught them how to build up a credit rating, that's more valuable than having to hand over money to stay in the room in what is supposed to be your Family home. My DD opened another savings account and didn't learn the PIN to it, she puts 20% away.

As said, if she's blowing it, then you could do that for her.

She is 18 and not in education for a year, if she had moved out she would need to pay her way, so yes she should make a contribution.
If you want to keep it all or save it all for her next year or a mix of the two that's up to you, but learning how to budget and be responsible is a life skill she needs to be taught.

I lived I supported accommodation at 16,17,18 and was at college FT but had a measly £50 per week from JSA or something similar arranged through SS.
I was living the other side of town and my bad pass was £13 pw, I need supplies for school and ideally needed a Mac for editing so I had 3 jobs, part time cleaning at the college, weekend work at an ice cream parlour, part time evening cleaning job at a gym one of my collage tutors sibling owned.

My brother who lived at home was never charged rent or had to pay for food/bills etc and is nearly 30 and still moves back home when he's lost a job or quits, he knows he can do this because mummy will not charge him rent.

I would always welcome my children home if they were in a crisis, but they will know they can't just live here for free if they've made silly choices or fancy quitting their responsibilities.

It's called being an adult.

We did/do what Birdsgottafly said and for us and dds it works well they bothdrive run their cars 1 has a mortgage etc etc it worked out a lot better than taking £50 a week from a min wage job

If you can manage, don't ask her for rent. She'll need every penny. You might find she is generous and will treat you sometimes.

No. We have young adult children here some of the time and would never charge rent. They contribute willingly to household chores, buy bits of food shopping, are genuinely grateful for the accommodation etc.

They are good at saving and investing though. If they weren't we would charge rent and then invest it for them.

""If I had a child that wasn’t being financially sensible with their money then I’d consider that I had failed them ""

That's called having a child grow into an Adult, who dares to have their own personality and makes their own mistakes.

My parents charged me £10 a week when I started my first full time job at 16, which looking back on it was just under 20% of my weekly wage. I remember getting a shock when they mentioned it but they told me if it was my adult decision to leave school, then this is the real world and you have to pay. I quickly got my head around it and agreed that you don't get anything for free.

I can see why you would and why you wouldn't want to charge - for me, I would do the same to my kids so they realise that once you're an adult, you get all the shitty/boring adult responsibilities that come along with it.

Yes. Show her how much it costs to feed and house the family, show her what her % costs are and ask her for a contribution towards them. Let her know you're doing it to help her learn about budgeting. Get her to save some too every week (or ask for a higher amount and put half away for her.) DC will never grow up if we don't let them. They need to learn that full time wages aren't just for blowing on clothes and fun while others foot the bill for neccessities.

If you can manage, don't ask her for rent. She'll need every penny. You might find she is generous and will treat you sometim

Don’t listen to this they just buy wirelsss tickets and go magaloof they won’t save of offer you have to just take the money

BlueBug45 the point was I couldn't afford driving lessons at 18 after I had paid rent to my parents.

Also not going to University, is just a different path, not one that needs punishing.

There is a lot of value in being in the workplace, especially one that isn't in a professional role. That really will give her an understanding of how the real world works.

If she is over 18, working and not in education I would ask for rent&food contribution.

@bookmum08 if it was a priority for you to learn to drive then you would have done so older. There are plenty of people around who due to finances and/or where they lived didn't learn to drive until their 20s and 30s.

@Metoodear paying rent or more likely towards her board doesn't stop her saving for a holiday or whatever. She just has to be clever about it.

I'm glad i had a lovely mum, no way in a million years would she have ever charged me or my brothers rent. We paid for our own food and done household chores etc, but she would never take a penny off of us for the house/utilities.

BlueBug45 I still couldn't afford driving lessons in my 20/30s because I made the mistake of staying in low paid retail. Silly me.

That's nice Red but I can assure you there are plenty of lovely mums out there who, once they lose maintenance, tax credits and child benefit, are unable to pay rent/mortgage/utilities without a contribution from their adult working child.

Maybe charging her a small amount per week/month, just so she can learn about the value of money, and increase it whenever she gets a raise. She will learn to appreciate her money more.

I wouldn’t and didn’t charge my children rent or board, whatever the circs. Always wanted them to think of home as somewhere safe to come back to if life got tough for them.
However, this was influenced by the fact I had enough money to pay the bills and bring up the other kids.
If you’re struggling, I think it’s fair enough to ask her to contribute.

I wouldn't but if you need the money then transitioning from you paying for her knickers/razors/favourite chocolate to her doing so might help.