To charge 18 year old dd rent?

[troodiedoo]

Dd has just finished college. Not going to uni this year but maybe next year if she can decide on a course.

She's just got a job in a shop.minimum wage. Wibu to ask her for rent? And if so how much?

I am sure mums who take money from fully working adults are lovely too everybodies circumstances are different.

i wouldnt want to take my sons money unless I needed it so if you do you should

Yes. And if she's not in education she should be looking for full time work

BlueBug45 and I have even less chance now to even afford a car. I do believe that had I learned to drive and got a car my life would be different to now - but working in low paid /minimum wage for all my adult working life meant I simply COULD NOT AFFORD IT. No matter how important to me it was.

YANBU.

Half her wage should do it, that leaves her with more than enough spending money left over.

We didn’t charge anything to my eldest when she was working during a gap year but she saved very diligently so that she had more of a cushion when she went to university - it’s so much more expensive than you think.

I don’t understand the ‘teaching about the real world’ theme repeated on here , unless you live in a milieu where you have an oblivious trust fund babe with an open credit card paid by you. The real world ie prioritising rent and utilities comes upon them anyway when they do leave home and just contributing a token amount to parents for the sake of it explains absolutely zero about the realities of funding a household.

My younger DD is now living back at home, working and saving until she goes to further training - she pays her own personal items, phone, car, buys a lot of her own food and does an occasional general stock up, but her being here is of very little extra marginal cost. Being responsible for the mechanics of paying her own bills at uni makes her very appreciative of what is provided here.

This is a common theme on MN.
Always those who think they young person needs to part with their money in order to be taught a lesson. Often fuelled by the fact that their own parents took money from them.

I believe that financial management is an important lesson that parents need to teach their children. You don't actually have to take money off them to do so. Make sure she understands about different bank accounts and investments and the best way to make the most of her money. Help her draw up a budget for essentials and encourage her to save all the rest.
I wouldn't dream of taking rent from my DC unless I thought they were reckless with money. Even then I wouldn't actually keep the cash I'd show them how I had invested it for them.

DS1 has lived at home for a year after uni. He has worked and invested 75% of his earnings so has a nice lump sum ready for when he gets his own place later this year.

I would charge "housekeeping" rather than "rent" as a contribution to her share of the utility bills and food. The normal figure usual quoted in these sorts of threads is the child benefit you will lose when she starts work, which isn't much in the grand scheme of things when you are working full time. You can decide if you want to save some or all of it for her.

I paid rent from when I had a job, and when I was on benefits, it was a small amount anyway and what I got in return was worth more than that rent I paid .

I had no idea but it was going towards my future wedding . So when that came around I had a cache of money already, as DM had put it away in an account .

Perhaps you could do that with DD ?
Even if its not for her wedding its a nice little sum for her by 18 or so.

We don't take rent money from adult ds (he's a ft worker) but we do ask for a contribution towards the costs of him living here. Something towards the wifi , energy , water and his dinners etc as he always eats his evening meal here. It looks like a token amount but when we worked out the actual costs that's what it came out as. It leaves him with lots of disposable income to pay for nights out with friends and clothing and he is able to put money by if he chooses to.

None of this is to 'teach him a lesson' , it's a true amount based on how much it costs for him to live here.

I had to resit my failed a-levels part time whilst working 30 hours in a supermarket. I paid £25 a week - which covered the child benefit my mum lost, plus a bit more. Didn't resent it, was happy to do it.

I never charged my kids rent. We had paid our mortgage off by the time they had jobs and certainly didn't need the money, so why take it off them? We didn't need to do it to "teach them a lesson" – we were able to do that without actually taking their money. From the age of 16 (13 if you include paper rounds!) they had part time jobs and had to pay for all luxuries such as clothes, going out with friends, gadgets, etc. and that seemed to instill a sense of the value of money in them just fine. They all grew into sensible, financially stable adults, so I guess we did something right.

Again, thanks for all the comments. Rebranding it as housekeeping seems a good idea.

Would just like to point out she wouldn't be funding her sibling, just contributing a bit towards her own keep. I'll hardly be turning a profit.

She is quite sensible with money. But now that she's 18 there are more spending options!

And one lived with us quite a while after uni while working full-time. Was fine by us, he saved up a really great deposit for a house with his GF and will be mortgage-free pretty young thanks to that. So happy for him.

I can never think if a time when I will charge my children to live at home.

Fair enough she buys her own clothes, phone bill etc.

I remember handing my dad money for rent as a teenager and he said my heart, this is your home don't ever do that again. I used to put money on the electric key and buy a bit of shopping and I also bought my younger sister and brother things they needed.

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't take rent but would insist on driving lessons, savings for example.

No. Absolutely not. Can't believe the parents who are keen to make money out of their own children

But some parents are just tight even when they are already financially secure. They might try and disguise it as teaching their children about budgeting etc, but basically they're just tight. Plenty of people are financially responsible despite never paying board at home. Plenty of people made to pay board go on to be reckless spendthrifts.

I think I can say with a degree of certainty that those who are keen to charge board are never the ones who are first at the bar, and I bet they prefer to exactly split the dinner bill too

@BettyBooHoo it's not keen to make anything off children. I actually put dds 'rent' away for her savings.

It's teaching your children the value of their money and once they reach a certain age they do have to pay their way do you want your kids to get a huge shock once they move out and have double the rent they'd be charged at home?

I don't see how charging your kids money teaches them about the 'real world'. I always worked, paid for my own clothes and outings but my parents never asked for money and all of my siblings turned out to be financially responsible adults. If my parents needed money then of course I'd be happy to contribute, but they were very financially comfortable and I'm so glad they allowed me to build up my savings. But then again we are from a culture where your family home is always yours no matter how old you are, so I suppose my perspective is a bit different.

Even if it’s a nominal tenner a week I think It’s important for kids to start to pay their way when they’re no longer in education.

I wouldn't but I would make sure she was buying her own toiletries, paying her own phone, travel that sort of stuff.

Bettyboohoo

Hmmmmm, you are being a bit obtuse. 🤔

I think some children never financially contribute at home and still turn out to have learnt the value of money and the importance of budgeting, I'm sure the opposite is true as well.

But the point myself and others are making is that it's far more likely that your children will learn the value of money and how rent etc works if they have always had to deal with it.

Everyone I know who charges their children a weekly rate is setting it to one side for them without telling them about it, precisely because it's not really about the money.

I paid £100 a month since I was sixteen whilst working and sixth form as my mum needed help towards the running of the household.
I feel like it set me up for the real world, so I would charge even a little rent, use it towards food or bills or if you can afford to save it for her.

It seems to be another MN thing only, that adult children live with their parents for free. Every single person I know in RL receives housekeeping money from their DC once they leave education. It is still cheaper than having to rent and pay the bills and it is the adult DC's choice to do that, live at home , pay less and try and save some money.

I am a single parent and when the CM, CB and WTC stops, it will be because the DC is earning. Once the DC is earning they will have to pay their own way as I won't be able to afford to keep them. They will have a choice of living at home for X amount, or going out to rent a flat for a minimum of £450pm plus food and utilities.

It is wonderful for all those people out there who are loaded and want to help their adult DC out, but for most of us, the reality is that they cannot afford to keep them forever.

I've lost tax credits and child benefit but don't charge my adult children. It's just wrong. My partner's ex has never worked a day inher life and wants to charge her 18 year old daughter rent. The daughter just says "when you contribute, I'll contribute".

AJPTaylor - £200 per month when she is on minimum wage? I really hope you don’t have children hmm

She's not a child, though?

£200pm for a 18yr old working full time for mn is 22% of her wages. In all honesty, most adults pay a much higher % for their housing costs (mortgage, utilities, insurance) and this still leaves her with almost £700 disposable income.

Sounds fine to me.