Two boys - AIBU / Paranoid?

[TreaclePumpkin]

Hi all,

I have one son already and another one on the way. Every time I tell people my second child will also be a boy, people seem to be disappointed. And seem to be searching for my disappointment in my voice when I speak.

For the record, as nice as I'm sure as it would have been to have a girl, I truly don't mind I'm having a boy - just want a healthy baby who will hopefully grow up to have a close bond with his brother. And I have no plans to have any more children (don't love the whole pregnancy malarkey, though the end result is great), so no chance of me "trying" again.

But all I seem to get all the time are comments about how hard two boys will be and how I MUST try again, as if I have failed somehow. It's starting to make me feel super defensive about it, to the extent I'd rather lie and say I don't know what I'm having.

That plus the fact people can't get over just how big I look already and how the only explanation is that it must be twins If another person makes a comment about the size of my bump i'lll... never mind. I digress...

Anyhoo, is this a thing anyone else has experienced? Am I just being over-sensitive? I'm fully prepared to blame it on my hormones.

How do I get people to believe that I really am happy/don't care that my baby is a boy - without sounding like I'm protesting too much?

People only know what they have I guess. Lots of my friends have 2 boys and it's great. I have a bit and a girl and once in a while I think how nice it would have been for my son to have a brother.

People are stupid
Ignore them as best you can op

Just say you don't know gender, it's none of their business. I have only boys and I know what you mean about people's comments.

I think many people are of the impression that one boy and one girl is ideal. Madness.

I’d ignore it. Not worth the thought process.

I only ever read about the reaction towards 'another boy' on here, never experienced it in real life.

I have three boys, I was never fussed about having anything other than a lovely baby either.

It doesn't matter what others think, you don't have to convince them of anything.

I have two boys and wouldn't have it any other way. People didn't seem to believe me when I was pleased that my youngest was a boy. I ignored them.

I got exactly the same when I was pregnant with my second girl. People seem to think ‘one of each’ is the perfect family. Weird.

I had one boy and I actively wanted another one. (Based on a very unscientific small sample of friends and friends' children, I believed two girls or two boys would get on better than one of each.) I couldn't find out the sex in the town where I lived then, but people still assumed I'd want a girl second time around. I kind of wanted to say "no, I want a boy," and I probably would have done if I'd had one girl and wanted another girl, but somehow with two boys I felt there was a danger they'd think I was saying girls were inferior.

One of my friends didn't stop nagging me to "try for a girl" until the boys were about 15 and 14 and I was well into perimenopause!

There's no easy answer to this, but you could always try pointing out that whatever other advantages and disadvantages there are, they'll probably be good companions as they'll have more in common, especially if it's a small age gap.

It's better to have two boys. They'll be companions and friends to each other, and little boys are so lovable.

I think this is v common when people have all boys OR all girls. For some reason you can only be happy with at least one of each 🙄 Weirdly though, when it’s the first, myself and others have experienced the ‘bet you’re glad it’s a boy’ which is odd.
People are stupid

I would give my right arm for two sons, OP! Enjoy them.

Why do people get annoyed about this s**t, some people want a boy and a girl, some people don't give a shit, why does it bother you? Just say no I'm happy with another boy and get on with your day :/

I wasn’t annoyed by it , just a bit baffled. And of course I imagine most people do just get on with their day, they don’t spend the rest of the pregnancies sobbing in a corner.

I have 2 boys and get so annoyed by people asking if I want a girl or wished I’d had one. No. I have too happy, healthy, lovely children.

I love them and don’t give a jot that they are both the same sex. I don’t go in for the ‘they’ll get on better/ have more in common’ stuff either. Boy and girl siblings can have just as strong a bond and and similar interests as boy/boy or girl/ girl siblings. That’s why it doesn’t matter to me that they are both male because sex doesn’t determine anything other than biological
function unless you let all that gender stereotype crap seep into family life.

I have two boys and currently expecting dc3. I fully expect all the “are you hoping for a girl” comments to start once it’s public knowledge.

I had so many people say how disappointed I must be after having ds2. Why? I had a beautiful baby who is now a gorgeous little boy who has a lovely bond with his big brother.

For some reason society believes we must all have one of each. And if not, keep trying until we do. Ridiculous.

Enjoy your boys OP.

Try the level of disappointment you get from people when you're pregnant with DS4 like I am! Seriously been getting people commiserating with me - I don't care, my boys are awesome but apparently everyone else thing girls are the axis upon which the world turns.

I've got five boys, I once had someone look on the pram and say "Aww what a shame "
I really resented the fuss made when I had a girl, it made no difference to me at all

I have two boys and it's what I wanted. I had the 'when are you going to try for a girl?' Question- ummm never!!

Try having 3 girls! - I got so sick of people "commiserating" with me when the last one appeared that I was once very rude to an old lady (unfortunately a patient of my OH's) in the middle of M&S.

She sympathised with me - and I pulled back the cover on baby's pram, and said "Look - just look at this perfect little girl - how dare you tell me you are sorry!!"

There was a thread about this recently and I’m afraid to say this is a thing, and the comments will keep coming. I have two boys, second one a total miracle after three miscarriages (two of them girls). I was so totally desperate to give my son a sibling that I didn’t care one jot.

I don’t remember one negative comment whilst pregnant but definitely now I’m out and about with my two year old and five year old I get a lot of comments about them being a handful. One woman recently actually stopped our conversation to ask me if my younger son was a little sod. Errrrm, no not really, he’s just a typic two year old

People say very tactless things to pregnant woman and don't realise how upsetting it can be.

Best not to tell anyone the sex of your baby before it's born (let them think you've chosen not to know), then when it arrives and is another of the same sex they will see how delighted you are and won't make such comments.

Too late for you now though. You'll have to weather it.

I have two boys, they are fabulous. Realise I'm massively biased but I'm sure if I had two girls I would think they are fabulous too!

I think this is many people's point of view. Just after my second daughter was born a lady was cooing over her, when I told her she was a girl (after being asked) she said "that's a shame"
It seems to be the norm to expect people to want one of each. I just replied I am very happy with my girls, and just repeat every time someone asks if I am going to have another to try for a boy!

I wasn’t annoyed by it hmm, just a bit baffled. And of course I imagine most people do just get on with their day, they don’t spend the rest of the pregnancies sobbing in a corner.

I wasn't talking to you