Two boys - AIBU / Paranoid?

[TreaclePumpkin]

Hi all,

I have one son already and another one on the way. Every time I tell people my second child will also be a boy, people seem to be disappointed. And seem to be searching for my disappointment in my voice when I speak.

For the record, as nice as I'm sure as it would have been to have a girl, I truly don't mind I'm having a boy - just want a healthy baby who will hopefully grow up to have a close bond with his brother. And I have no plans to have any more children (don't love the whole pregnancy malarkey, though the end result is great), so no chance of me "trying" again.

But all I seem to get all the time are comments about how hard two boys will be and how I MUST try again, as if I have failed somehow. It's starting to make me feel super defensive about it, to the extent I'd rather lie and say I don't know what I'm having.

That plus the fact people can't get over just how big I look already and how the only explanation is that it must be twins If another person makes a comment about the size of my bump i'lll... never mind. I digress...

Anyhoo, is this a thing anyone else has experienced? Am I just being over-sensitive? I'm fully prepared to blame it on my hormones.

How do I get people to believe that I really am happy/don't care that my baby is a boy - without sounding like I'm protesting too much?

Apologies, I was assuming the OP got on with her day and didn’t sob in a corner too. I may be wrong of course.

I think it’s common for a perceived ideal of a boy first then a girl.
I bought into this myself for a while. Have ds1 and pregnant again, really wanted a dd.
Now I just don’t care. Ive got a bit more perspective, pulled my head out of my ass and realised a healthy baby is a healthy baby and whatever I get I will be over the moon with.

Yep, four boys here, a rude stranger said ‘oh how disappointing’ when DTB’s arrived. Fucking rude bitch!
I get it far less now the are into double figures but tgere really is a level of verbal diarrhoea when it comes to opinions about children in general!

I have 4 boys, and had all of the comments commiserating the fact that I didn’t manage a girl. I did find it difficult at first, As I did (I thought) want a girl but 7 years on from my last baby, I think my family’s perfect. If you are happy with your family then it’s perfect. 😄

Some people are so ignorant.

I was expecting DC2 after trying for 4 years. 4 long years of tears, Clomid, IUI, IVF & FET. MIL on being told I was pregnant said I hope it's a girl !!!

FFS I was just glad to be on the road to completing my little family. I now have 2 DS and they are the best!!

People will always comment.
I had found out my first was a boy.....
They said 'don't worry, might be a girl next' 🤔
Pregnant second time, found out it was a boy......
They said 'never mind, are you very upset??' 😏
Pregnant third time, found out it was a girl....
They said 'you must be soooo happy' 🙄
Errrm hello....you have made an awful lot of assumptions about how I feel! For the record, I've loved all my babies equally, and been just as excited about the arrival of each and every one.
People talk shit to pregnant women. Fact.

Apologies, I was assuming the OP got on with her day and didn’t sob in a corner too. I may be wrong of course.

I don't believe I said that anyone "sobbed in a corner"? She is clearly annoyed though or she wouldn't have started a thread about it

I have three boys and have definitely experienced this with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. The looks of pity and the slight head tilt when I told people my third was a boy was very annoying.

One parent at school (who had 4 girls, no boys) told me to try again as my life wouldn’t be complete until I had a girl. Don’t remember my response, it would have likely been polite, but I’ve never actively spoken to her since, and that was 10 yearsish ago.

I think the need for one of each is really strange. A lady at work is having her 2nd DC, it’s a girl, she already has a boy. She was asked if she was going to have any more, and she replied there was no point as she wouldn’t get anything different to what she would have.

People can start a thread for all sorts of reasons... annoyance, mild interest, sheer devastation, confusion, boredom... only the OP can say why she started this one.
People start all sorts of threads on here that I read and think ‘why do you give a shit?’. People react in different ways to different things, after all. I tend to just ignore and move on.

I must admit when I was pregnant with dd I wanted a boy as ds1 would only of been 18 months older.

It never entered my head that she could be a girl. I remember her being born the midwives saying "look what you've got"
Even to this day I SWEAR I saw a willy and I replied "a boy" and started to cuddle her to be told "no no look again"

Weirdly I used to get "I bet your happy with one of each" err no it would of been easier not to mention cheaper if dd had been a boy

People can start a thread for all sorts of reasons... annoyance, mild interest, sheer devastation, confusion, boredom... only the OP can say why she started this one
People start all sorts of threads on here that I read and think ‘why do you give a shit?’. People react in different ways to different things, after all. I tend to just ignore and move on.

So are you telling me that I should have ignored the thread and not posted my opinion because you didn't agree with it or?

I have 5 boys and i think they sound disappointed when i say a boy.Because they expect i am.But im not.

I love the shock factor when i tell people its great.

when people make these comments seems to be the ideal occasion for that old MN staple "did you mean to be so rude?"

I love having my two boys. DH and I both thought we'd slightly prefer a girl next after having DS1 but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, we both strongly hoped it was another boy. The little one is ten months old today and they are already great friends who giggle together uncontrollably whenever I'm not in the room and seeing how much they love one another is absolutely the best thing in my life. I'm sure I'd feel the same if I had two girls or one of each in either order but just wanted to let you know that I never wish either of them was any different.

When I got pregnant with a boy after our girl,everyone was ecstatic,wow,one of each,how perfect etc etc.

I have to say,it is sheer hell,they hate each other and my life is just to be a referee between them now. I so wish we had had 2 of the same sex as I think they would have had much more in common and have got along better (perhaps not,but definitely the boy/girl relationship is tricky!).

Ignore them all I say,and hope the fact they are the same sex means they will get along great some of the time (rather than hate each other all the time!)

I have two strapping six footer teen boys and love it. Boys are great. Have never felt I have missed out by not having a girl. Enjoy!

No I’m not telling you anything of the sort. I’m telling you what I do when I see threads where I think ‘why do you give a shit’. Apologies if that was unclear.
FWIW I don’t disagree with your opinion, you didn’t really give one except that you don’t know why people get annoyed about these things. I don’t know why people get annoyed by it either, I was just pointing out that there are other reactions to it than ‘annoyed’... as I said, I was a bit baffled when it was said to me.
The OP is entitled to feel however she feels.

I've got one of each, but I was happy to think my second one might also be a boy. My SIL has two boys and was in tears when she found out she was having another boy.

I have three sons and they are all extremely close. I know people with a boy and girl who really don't get on and are always fighting - this was certainly the case with me and my brother. You get what you're given - some people can be very insensitive and stupid. By the way, I did have twins and was also told how massive I was - one by my dentist! It was actually all bump and he was a fat pie - at least I lost my weight when I gave birth!

She was asked if she was going to have any more, and she replied there was no point as she wouldn’t get anything different to what she would have.

We had one of each and there seemed to be some surprise when we had another (along the lines of you already have a girl and a boy).

FWIW I don’t disagree with your opinion, you didn’t really give one except that you don’t know why people get annoyed about these things
I didn't just say that but ok, glad you agree with the opinion that I didn't have anyway

I have 2 girls and my third is a boy. When he was born, an old lady at church said to me "Ah, saving the best til last!"

My friend has 5 boys. She started being blunt after the 3rd. She loves her boys, and from private conversations has no desire at all for a girl.

glad that’s all clear.

Other people can fuck off frankly

(I have one of each: A v girly boy and a very boyish girl)