To think you can't have bedtime without a story?

[SarahH12]

DSD has told me on several occasions that she really likes having bedtime stories here and she's very sad "Mummy won't read to [her]. I don't know how trustworthy the testimony of a 6 year old is- let's be fair sometimes they can have the tendency to overemphasis things. But it got me thinking. I think one of the best parts of bedtime with DSD is when I get to read her a story. It's the time she's most chatty and it's lovely.

I really think you can't put a child to bed without a bedtime story on most occasions. I do think there are times when you can't; for example we came back from a holiday late one evening and she slept in the car and immediately went to sleep on return. But reading to me and helping them develop an interest in reading is so important.

AIBU then to think it's unfair to not read them a bedtime story most night?

Come on OP at least own the fact you were demeaning her, which you absolutely have done.

Why else would have started this thread? You know that reading a story at bedtime is a good thing, you know that your DSD enjoys them and you know that her mum doesn't do it.

My husband does most of the bedtime stories. I find them an endurance exercise! Much better once they can read for themselves!

Fucking hell ghanagirl. I've just rtft in one go and you don't give up do you.

I'd rather be a slightly judgy person about lack of reading, like the op, than someone like you. OP's previous relationships choices have fuck all to do with reading a bedtime story to her current dsd. You harping back to it continuously makes you nasty and fucking judgemental yourself.

And by the way, ODFOD means oh do fuck off dear.

pasanda
Right back at ya

@SarahH12
You brought this on yourself for trying to put down your as of now “SD’s” real mother I’m sure she also speaks highly of you and when called out swearing very intelligent

OP you're better than this thread. Don't waste your energy here, you're doing a good job spending your energy elsewhere.

@Ghanagirl what’s with the “as of now” comment? You’re coming across as pathetically spiteful by continuing your little vendetta against the op. No one else has laid into the op for having to leave the abusive relationship that she was in!

I thought you were “out” anyway, yet you’ve still returned to get your pathetic little digs in

I waa never read to as a child, not even in the day time.
I have grown up with a huge love of books though.
My children have always been read to b4 bed, my 3 year oldgets snuggled into bed for her story and my 9 year old snuggles on my bed with me, he reads a few pages to me and then i read a few.
it's part of our routine, and a lovely one on one time.

She's not your child, it's not your place to day what is beat for her or what her mum should or shouldn't be doing. For a start there's two of you and you only have her a small amount of time, her mum is the one raising her and doing all the hard work not you.
She isn't hurting her dd or abusing her, it is reassuring of your business what she does not doesn't do with her own daughter.

@Ghanagirl you sound like a right idiot!!

I'm with you @SarahH12. A mother sitting next to her child reading the iPad knowing that her child wants her to read to her, but isn't doing it? What a twat!

I had my first two 18 months apart. My second was a screamer. Evenings were particularly bad which meant that dd1s bedtime story got shelved for a while, it was just impossible to read to her in a calming sleep inducing manner whilst also dealing with a raging screaming refluxy baby. In those circumstances she settled far better without the attempt at a story.

Later I attempted to reintroduce the bedtime story, but both dc took it as an excuse to mess around, jumping up and down, then they’d want a drink, then they’d need a wee... tried staggering bedtimes so could read to them individually but this led to tantrums and constant interruptions. It just wasn’t working and as a single parent who was very conscious of the long list of stuff waiting for me downstairs I couldn’t handle the long drawn out hyped up bedtime that usually ended up with dc arguing and me snapping. So I went back to putting them straight to bed instead. Which meant bedtime took 10 minutes instead of hours.

So my older two didn’t have bedtime stories but that doesn’t mean they weren’t read to! They were read to most mornings when they woke up (early risers), and again in the afternoon in that lull before the dinner/bath/bed madness that ensues with two toddlers.

Bedtime stories are lovely when they work for you (dc3 has a story or three every night) but they aren’t always the cosy snuggled up experience that winds children down for bed. It’s not the bedtime part that’s important IMO, as long as they are read to/told stories to/exposed to books at some point in the day.

@kokeshi123, I agree about reading good quality texts in terms of vocab and comprehension and there are huge benefits to reading to children in terms of writing.

But it’s different in terms of reading progress in the early years. And there probably is a danger of children with issues being missed because of the belief ‘that you can spot the children who aren’t read to because they make slower progress’. You might be able to spot those children, but it won’t be because of the progress they make in reading.

Providing an appropriate intervention to help the DSD catch up might be more effective. At least then she could read to herself in bed on the nights she’s with her mum and have an adult read to her on the other nights.

Providing an appropriate intervention to help the DSD catch up might be more effective.

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay I'm open to suggestions if you have any re appropriate interventions? She's already seeing a Speech and Language Therapist and we help her read as much as possible through appropriate level books and through workbooks. The school have already picked up on her level of reading and they just provide level 1 books for us to read to her as well as then reading level 1 books in school. I'm not sure what else we can try?