To think you can't have bedtime without a story?

[SarahH12]

DSD has told me on several occasions that she really likes having bedtime stories here and she's very sad "Mummy won't read to [her]. I don't know how trustworthy the testimony of a 6 year old is- let's be fair sometimes they can have the tendency to overemphasis things. But it got me thinking. I think one of the best parts of bedtime with DSD is when I get to read her a story. It's the time she's most chatty and it's lovely.

I really think you can't put a child to bed without a bedtime story on most occasions. I do think there are times when you can't; for example we came back from a holiday late one evening and she slept in the car and immediately went to sleep on return. But reading to me and helping them develop an interest in reading is so important.

AIBU then to think it's unfair to not read them a bedtime story most night?

@SarahH12
I was Making the points that
A) I think it’s great read to kids at night and I did with my two
B) I don’t judge those that don’t
C) in the scheme of things not reading stories pales int insignificance to bonding with a child with a neglectful mother and violent father then abanding him.
In terms of long term effect on child which is most harmful to the child.
Yet your banging about judging your newest stepchilds mother for not reading bedtime stories.
You come across as in immature person playing at being a mum.
Very easy to be perfect on short term basis.
I remember being perfect “mum” to my nieces in my twenties but it’s very different when you are totally emotionally and physically responsible for your own child.
Stop judging the women who is closest to your partners child she won’t thank you as she gets older.

FaceTime sounds like a lovely plan if the Mum would go for it and they have the tech to do so

Oh and this
QuinnElle

What did social services / the police say when you reported the violence and abuse and told them that there was a young boy left with it?

You carry on with your practically perfect in every way parenting and let the child's mother carry on with her slutty neglectful parenting.

Where on earth did you get slutty from @Grimbles ?

From you.

I think she’s using the old meaning of the word

Lazy etc

But I’m sure you know that as you are so well read

Ahh I'm with you. I've had about 3 hours sleep so not with it but still finding the time to read to DSD

@SarahH12
I think you have more important things you should be addressing than the fact newest “Stepchild” mum doesn’t read bedtime stories!

I don’t do stories it enrages me too much. My husband does them when he’s home.

Indeed batteries!

Oh, lets add martyr to the ops list of of superior qualities

You haven’t answered @QuinnElle’s question...

Single mum with 2, 3 and 4 year old. I'm too fkng knackered to do it nicely.

When the midwife told me that breastfeeding my newborn was a good time to read to my 1 and 2 year old I could have stabbed myself. It is the most unhelpful comment I have ever had to hear.

Their abusive father merrily boasts about reading them dozens of stories. Very goid but it doesn't cancel out the nasty stuff hes done.

Whatever that saying about walking in someone else's footsteps before you judge op....

I think you have more important things you should be addressing
Yes @Ghanagirl like crippling insomnia and colonoscopy pain. Far more important in my mind. But Christ you ask one question on MN and people jump to the conclusion you're obsessing over it when it's merely the wandering thoughts of an insomniac

Is she a good mum otherwise OP?

"just to make it clear I'm judging those who never read to their DC"

Some children don't like being read to. My own son will tolerate it for about 30 seconds. He prefers quiet interaction.

Ive always read to my ds from when he was a few months old. Hes now 3 and we still have a story at bedtime. Sometimes he wants a story and an episode of tom and jerry too

SarahH12
You’ve criticised your “stepdaughter” mother for not reading to her and haven’t answered QuinnElle’s question about your previous “stepchild”
Instead telling us about colonoscopy and insomnia which has no relevance except to now try and get sympathy

I hate reading most of the threads written my step mums. I was a step mum long before I had my own children. It was easy to do a lovely bedtime routine with one child that was only resident one or two nights a week. I still do a lovely routine with my three young children, it's harder now though. What I don't understand is the need for step parents to bitch about the mother of the child, you don't know exactly what that mother does for her daughter. You don't know if the mother is struggling or depressed, but I'm sure she loves and cares for her child. No need to be superior and judgy.

You asked aibu about reading a bedtime story.
But then added in details about someone else's parenting and dripfed.
If the little girl needs additional support for reading then her mum and dad should provide it. If you are able to help then yes - help.

YANBU to read a child a story whatever time of day.
The rest I think YABU.

SarahH12
Still waiting for an answer?

Exactly @cariadlet she is in the house with her, she doesn't work so doesn't have the issue of shifts etc like you mention and the worst part of it is their bedtime routine consists of them doing pjs, teeth and then lie in bed next to each other (they cosleep) whilst Mum reads silently to herself on her iPad whilst DSD has to lie silently next to her!!

Over-egging the pudding a bit now, OP.

@GreatDuckCookery in some ways yes and some ways no and that's all I'm going to say as it'll only set the judgey pants on here off again.

@Ghanagirl nothing to do with sympathy and everything to do with you saying I need to sort other things out. I was agreeing with you

Smug much OP? Ridiculous self congratulating thread. I never read bed time stories because I'm no good at it and hate doing it. I also don't like playing certain kids games and I equally hate school plays BUT in my own way I'm a great mum with flaws. My dd loves me and I adore her/we are very close. Lack of bed time stories hasn't stunted her reading ability either as she is top in her year in English and always gets A** 😁