Why are some families so loud!!

[Childlessstepmum15]

Why are some families so loud? I mean why do yet have to shout when speaking to each other and generally have no regard for others? We’re staying in a lovely quiet self catering house in south devon, there is a large garden and shared pool with two other cottages. The people in the middle cottage are like us, a family of four, enjoying themselves,having fun but not shouting at the top of their lungs. Family in end cottage, three pasty kids singing loudly, screaming, unable to have a quiet conversation.

It’s the same in restaurants, we’re always sitting next to the loudest people in there 😂😂

God help me! AIBU and a grouchy old cow?

Yadnbu. It is ridiculously rude. I would say something and tut.

Just come back from holiday with the noisy family from hell as neighbours. Kids thundered up and down never walked. Singing loudly whilst walking to and from accommodation. Dad doing some sort of 'rap' at gone midnight at what sounded like 10000 decibels whilst the kids SQUEALED with laughter at the muppet.
He didn't talk he just yelled

I came across two posh people in the supermarket who were the loudest people I had ever heard. They were literally screaming at each other and trying to "out posh" the other one. For example "Oh yes, Clarinda just got accepted to Cambridge" "Amazing, my 3 loved it there" "How marvellous, we'll think about that whilst yachting" "Oh super, we always think about all our horses when yachting".

They got louder and louder and stood stock still in the middle of the queue and everyone just moved around them. They were screaming for the benefit of all those around them and they really cheered me up.

Ha, violets, love your last few words!

I come from a family of bellowers. My mum, and brother in particular are horrendous, it was like growing up with a couple of Brian Blesseds! And I married a bellower, although in my defence i was so accustomed to bellowing I didn't even realise he was one 🤣 my eldest has inherited the bellowing gene. I'm somehow very softly spoken but it's quite embarrassing when we're all out, or someone is getting told off, or they're all having a conversation with each other. It was especially embarrassing on holiday around the pool, we must have sounded like a right bunch of fishwives

Look at childless 's 20:09 comment "pasty kids, yes they are, and fat!"

People giving her the benefit of the doubt for not meaning to be malicious are too kind hearted... Deeply unpleasant.

Why are Brit's so obsessed with quietness?

Was feeling sorry for the OP until I got to the comment yesterday about them being pasty and fat. Horrible way to speak about children.
I hope they’re all having a great time on their noisy fun holiday, and laughing about the cranky lady sharing their pool and how miserable she is.

“My son has a loud voice, as do I. No idea why.”

But you’re acting like it’s something you can control. Volume isn’t a feature of someone’s voice, it’s just the force with which you project it!

A new-ish family have moved in last year and their garden is back to back with mine. The family built an enormous house with fence-to- fence hard-standing. No vegetation to soften it. It's like villain's hide-out in a Bond film. The noise from the four exuberant children in their pool is remarked on by all neighbours, several of whom have their own active kids, but not like this. All the boys shout, the girl screams. The dad shouts. Can't hear the mum.

Its what they do. Meh.

My bone of contention is their sodding pool pump which goes on for hours and very loudly.

I think ppl are getting louder in general, even libraries aren't that quiet anymore. It's exhausting. Or maybe I'm just intolerant, I don't know.

'Pasty and fat' I've met plenty of thin, healthy looking loud people, so not sure why that's relevant.

But, yes, I'm really quiet -books, birdwatching, long walks alone. Other members of my family though...I can't believe we ended up so different. Their volume and constant talking over each other makes my heart race. However, I've realised that my silence makes them nervous, too. I think we've all just got accept that different things work for different people! Hard when you can't get away from it though....

Reminds me of the BBC3 programme 'This Country' - Kerry & her mum. You never see the Mum, they just yell from upstairs to downstairs at each other. It's so funny - DP & I answer the phone to each other now with WHAAAAAT? We've got friends doing it now.

Yesterday in a busy anchorage, 40 boats most with kids, swimming, paddle boarding, whizzing about in RIBs. No music, no yelling, no screaming.
Round the corner on the 'near the chips' area of the beach - bloody bedlam

Dunno OP. Same on trains, too. People get on and have a conversation at a volume it's clear the whole carriage can hear. Do they really think we are all interested? We're not, we just want to read/nap/listen to music/have a quiet conversation with each other.

If you believe some of the posts on this thread every loud person is hard of hearing/SEN/just so darn fun loving they can't possibly contain it.

Statistically (and logically) its far more likely that they are just inconsiderate. Some people think of others, some don't. They then pass this on to their children.

I don't want my child to be the 'loud' one the teachers are constantly having to ask to talk more quietly. Who constantly talks over quieter kids.
Why would I think that was great and 'fun-loving'?

Dame - if you read some of my posts, you will see how (as a loud family) we go out of our way to a) recognise that we are loud and b) try to be considerate of others. We teach DC to wait and to raise hands in class before speaking, and to learn the important art of listening not just talking. And we try to adapt our behaviour to be considerate . I am not listing all the stuff we do again. But I do still think it’s okay in appropriate places and circumstances to be able to relax and be loud sometimes, without constantly feeling on eggshells and having to try and control every interaction we make. I don’t for one minute think ‘we are all so fun everyone wants to hear it’ or that quiet people are not fun.

But surely you can understand that as individuals some people are louder naturally. My mum and dad and sister are all fairly quiet and I wish sometimes in group conversations they would speak up so I can actually hear and join in!

My DM is like this!
She's just gone home after a visit so thankfully I won't be kept up while she is on the phone to my aunties or woken up before 6am because is chatting to our dog

But surely you can understand that as individuals some people are louder naturally.

Is there a gene for loudness or is it learned behaviour??
Who knows. Answers on a postcard.

I think some people are used to living in either large houses or remote areas and so they have got used to projecting their voices to be heard.

But surely you can understand that as individuals some people are louder naturally

I actually don’t understand this. I can choose to talk loudly or I can choose to talk quietly. I choose to talk at the volume that is suitable for my audience and my surroundings.

My DM is like this, just seems to have no volume control. It of course rubbed off on me as a child and we ended up banned from some local cafes for it . Nowadays I'm the one who tells her not to shout - and she still does.

But that was just talking. Once I was past toddler age I'm sure I wouldn't have been allowed to scream and shriek like a lot of children and teens do nowadays.

Why are Brit's so obsessed with quietness?

Because it’s so bloody nice. Other people are, generally, irritating. the less we hear them, the better.

pasty - does that mean white/non tanned..?

Why are people so intolerant of others?

Some are loud, some are quieter... we are probably in the middle, but I do find lots of people are really intolerant these days and grouchy and moan a lot.....

Deadgood - I understand what you are saying and agree to a point. As I have said, of course I can make a conscious effort to speak quietly but it’s a conscious effort and doesn’t come naturally so therefore I slip up, and it’s hard work.

Why do so many people speak tso softly and quietly in meetings or at a busy table, or environment? It’s seems no matter how often I explain I have a hearing difficulty and that they need to look at me and speak clearly and loudly they still speak oh so very softly and quietly. This is particularly difficult when we are trying to record a meeting and their voice doesn’t get picked up. I end up constantly asking them to repeat themselves and to SPEAK UP. Now I could assume they have complete control and are purposely trying to hinder the digital recording or trying to make me feel uncomfortable about my heating issue by forcing me to continually interrupt meeting by asking them to repeat themselves and to SPEAK up. It’s especiall tricky if people have their mouth covered. If I can’t lip read you really need to speak up. But I prefer to think that they are naturally softly spoken and struggle to maintain a loud clear voice as it’s not their habit/ default voice. Therefore I don’t get cross about it. I just try and find a way for us to work together.

But know knows really. It would be a good piece of research to do. I imagine much of it is learnt but once it’s ingraied as a child then it’s hard to break the habit. But I am also sure many parents could say they have several DC and some are loud and some are quiet. I guess it’s that age old nature / nurture arguement.

Thinking outbit I had a very outsidey childhood and so needed an outfit voice a lot of the time. Lots of callings dogs and ponies from far away, or chatting to people whilst doing noisy outdoor things in the wind etc. So maybe it’s a hangover from that. Which has also probably contributed to my hearing issues.