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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are some families so loud!!

208 replies

Childlessstepmum15 · 21/07/2018 17:11

Why are some families so loud? I mean why do yet have to shout when speaking to each other and generally have no regard for others? We’re staying in a lovely quiet self catering house in south devon, there is a large garden and shared pool with two other cottages. The people in the middle cottage are like us, a family of four, enjoying themselves,having fun but not shouting at the top of their lungs. Family in end cottage, three pasty kids singing loudly, screaming, unable to have a quiet conversation.

It’s the same in restaurants, we’re always sitting next to the loudest people in there 😂😂

God help me! AIBU and a grouchy old cow?

OP posts:
AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 21/07/2018 18:11

I have been in homes where the children just seem to be permantly making noise. Not talking, or singing or playing but making loud, random, jarring noises for no reason. And no-one tells them to Be quiet. Confused why not? Do they just not hear the noise? I find it really hard to have a conversation with all that pointless noise clutter. It would be different if it was a game or reading/singing etc. But this isn’t just noise for the sake of hearing their own voice.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 21/07/2018 18:12

is

Ploppymoodypants · 21/07/2018 18:13

We are not agressive or arguing or anything. We just have loud excitable personalities and have lots to say to each other.

NicoAndTheNiners · 21/07/2018 18:14

I know a family like this. Kids are fairly loud, mother indulges in serious loud parenting. I think she likes being the centre of attention and loves the sound of her own voice.

She also refers to the kids en masse by the family surname so it’s constantly “Dickinsons, this way” etc. I actually thought one of the kids had Dickinsons as a first name for a bit. Grin

PrincessPear · 21/07/2018 18:14

For what it’s worth I struggle with very softly spoken people, I can’t hear them or lip read as sometimes they are mumbling or not looking at me. And no matter how many times you explain you are partially deaf and can they speak up, they tend to do about 1 word louder word and then fade out again. (Because it’s just who they are) It takes so much of my concentration to understand them, (like it takes so much of their energy to speak up and clearly) I usually just end up zoning out as I can’t maintain that level of concentration for more than a few minutes.

Me too. I can’t understand them!

JaneJeffer · 21/07/2018 18:15

DH's family is like this. Foghorn voices. They can't close a door quietly either.

sagasleathertrousers · 21/07/2018 18:16

My ex's family were like this (four siblings.)They shouted and swore at each other instead of speaking. For every single conversation. It was stressful and exhausting to be around.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 21/07/2018 18:16

always shouting at dogs and everyone else to be quieter.

Had it occurred to you to approach them and ask them quietly to be quiet? Rather than shouting and adding to the chaos and probably just be ignored?

overduemamma · 21/07/2018 18:17

Defo not U, my partners family are like this. More his sister and Mum. Don't speak to each other they shout, I dread family do's, (luckily not many) but I always leave with a headache.

dingdongdigeridoo · 21/07/2018 18:21

My old neighbours were like this. The mum would yell the son’s name constantly when she was in the house and he was in the garden. Eventually he’d shout ‘whaaaaaaaaat?’ back at her and they’d have a whole conversation about whether he wanted chips or potatoes with his dinner at the top of their lungs.

Like just fucking go out into the garden and ask him. Aaaagh. It reminded me of This Country and the shouty conversations she’d have with her mum.

hornbeam · 21/07/2018 18:22

You want loud? You should have been in the garden centre with me yesterday.

Woman with older baby in pushchair. You know how some babies suddenly realise they can make a noise, and a lot of them babble and coo and whatnot? This one had learned to squeal joyously at decibel-breaking volume and was having a lovely time exercising his lungs. Oh the high-pitched blood-curdling, ear-splitting awful noise.

eeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEee... EEE... EEE... eeEEEEEEee.. EEE... eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 21/07/2018 18:24

It reminded me of This Country and the shouty conversations she’d have with her mum.

I was reading your post and thinking it sounds like Kerry and her Mum in this country! Grin

Ploppymoodypants · 21/07/2018 18:27

Awomen - of course I it has occurred to me to ask them quietly! Why wouldn’t I try that? I don’t yell from the door. I go and find them. But with the best will in the world, if I am stood right next to DH when he is doing a noisy job I he can’t hear me unless I speak up anyway. And I can’t hear full stop unless everyone speaks up. I can’t ‘undeaf’ myself. And if the dogs are barking at postman, walking up quietly takes ages, thus inflicting another minute of barking of people, where as shouting ‘here’ means they are instantly quiet (they are well trained).

BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 18:27

I might well be a moody cow (especially in this heat) but I hate it too. Obviously little kids squeal and screech and cry that's fine it's the adults going it that does my head in!

CrochetBelle · 21/07/2018 18:28

I live next door to a family like this. Funny, as my dad's always said I am loud, but in comparison to them, I'm a doormouse.

MissClareRemembers · 21/07/2018 18:29

DH’s family are like this. Our DCs seem to have inherited the Fog Horn gene too so I call it the Mr MissClare Family Curse.

Arriving in a restaurant and attempting to sit down is like a 3 ring circus. Ironically they then try to shush any DCs who happen to be there!

Ploppymoodypants · 21/07/2018 18:30

Plus. Like I said, we don’t ignore requests to be quiet. We try really hard. It’s just not our nature to be quiet, and occasionally we want to relax in our own home. We do observe things like no In evening or early morning and try to be mindful of people on their gardens at weekends or open windows on hot days. No neighbours have ever actually complained.

readsalotgirl63 · 21/07/2018 18:35

Grin @pandarific - that made me laugh out loud !

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 21/07/2018 18:35

of course I it has occurred to me to ask them quietly! Why wouldn’t I try that? I don’t yell from the door. I go and find them.

It’s just, you said shouting.

if I am stood right next to DH when he is doing a noisy job I he can’t hear me unless I speak up anyway.

Can’t he stop the noisy job to talk?

And I can’t hear full stop unless everyone speaks up. I can’t ‘undeaf’ myself.

No-one said you should! Shock

(they are well trained)

Not if they’re barking at the postman. There’s room to improve there.

GreatWesternValkyrie · 21/07/2018 18:35

three pasty kids singing loudly

Don’t you just hate it when you go on holiday and bloody Take That show up and ruin it Shock

Bloodybridget · 21/07/2018 18:37

Oh god, people with loud voices! DP and I were on a train the other day, two women who each had a daughter sitting across from us. One of the women talked constantly, she was engaging really nicely with both girls but her voice was so penetrating, it was giving me a headache. After about two hours we were able to move seats. And then another young woman sitting near us on the way back, I swear she only stopped to draw breath from Oban to Glasgow.

But tbf I probably don't realise how noisy I am sometimes.

Ploppymoodypants · 21/07/2018 18:38

The dogs are trained to bark at strangers coming into the yard. That’s their job.

DH does stop his noisy job to talk to me, just I need to shout initially so he knows I am there. He then has to talk loud to respond to me.

MinervaMaronne · 21/07/2018 18:39

My DH, all his family and now my kids are all loud. It stresses me out big time.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/07/2018 18:42

The first time I met Dh's family I was horrified, every conversation was conducted at a shout. (Obviously id met dh and he was really quiet) My parents were quiet and I just thought they were arguing. It calmed down, but was never peaceful.

supercalifragilistic2 · 21/07/2018 18:42

This is my family Grin . Ds is not quite 2 and he is horrendously loud. He just shouts everything.

My brother is loud as well, his dd is about 1 and she doesn't say a word. You could forget she's in the room.

We're just naturally loud I feel for my neighbours