Hi
I need help as my experience if relationships is one violent marriage and a violent father. Thats it.
My son has a mobi phone and last night it flashed up a message from a girl saying she had won an award. To a club he has been begging to go to and he now starts next week.
There were also messages between them where they tell each other how wonderful they are, 'something' happened at school and he asked to kiss her but she said she wasnt ready, he said fine i will wait as i like you.
She has been asking to meet him before/after club as her dad lives near us-divorced parents.
Im happy he will go to club but pissed off he hasnt been honest about why. I also dont let my kids hang about the streets so wont be letting him see her after club. He also likes to go to school early so am stopping this.
Im concerned at his age about him having a relationship, i feel it is inappropriate and want to discourage it. I also feel discussing their kiss etc on whatsapp is trouble.i feel if they argue, he will be blamed. He hasnt done anything wrong and the messages are quite sweet but i feel a bit sickened that he hasnt been honest about it. Also that i cant trust him.
He is my eldest, i dont know what to do, he doesnt know ive seen the messages. I didnt want to invade his privacy by reading them but also dont want to let things go un noticed as he us so young. He gets time alone at home now but am going to stop this as she hangs around here apparently and has been asking to come round which will be an obvious no way.
Should i ban his phone? Stop him going to club? My mum shamed me into not being with boys, said it was disgusting, i also got bullied for being too ugly for relationships so if anyone were interested in me (they never have been or are), then i would know they were taking the piss. Im aware shaming him will make him hide his behaviour.
I honestly dont know what to do. To be honest im horrified and pissed off which is probably unreasonable which is why im asking for advice here.
Thanks in advance