To not give DD her supper until she's apologised?

[CillaBlackFanOnIce]

It's all cooked and ready, I'm eating mine as I type. But she has spent the last half an hour being so stunningly rude and unapologetic I've told her she can't have supper until I get an apology.

I generally go for a more gentle approach my parenting but at times she's so fucking stubborn, absolutely nothing gets through to her. I have no intention of making her go to bed hungry, but I do intend to get an apology and an understanding of how unacceptable her behaviour is.

AIBU?

YABVVVVU

She's 8 btw.

Stand your ground.

Don't punish with food! Yabu.

Why waterbutt?

Get of MN and feed her!

Context? How old is DD?

Some kids I work with get pretty angry when hungry/thirsty and calm down and talk it through when they've had something to eat.

You can't withhold food as punishment. Absolutely not. Feeding your child is one of your most basic duties, it's non negotiable. (And you may find she's more reasonable once she's eaten.)

Well my 6yo is on the verge of being sent to bed ASAP without dinner. I've never had to do it before but I will now if she doesn't stop playing up. She's had loads to eat this afternoon, she's a long way from starving.

pointless really

using food to make a point is poor really

could go wrong many ways

also she could just eat and be super rude to you after and I'm not sure I'd blame her.

Age 8 I think is too young (I've actually never punished behaviour with food, I've removed luxuries etc first).

What happened?

Never use food as a weapon or reward. You'll not achieve anything but resentment. Better to find the root cause of the rudeness.

Sounds like my 1950s childhood. The difference is, I would have been sent to bed without dinner. YABU.

Should add it's the going to bed now that's the punishment, not the withholding dinner. But like I say, she hasn't stopped eating since she got home.

YABU. It's hardly going to be a sincere apology if she's saying it in order to be fed anyway, is it?

Punishing with food is never a good thing. Why? Because food is her human right and it’s your job as her parent to make sure her rights are met.

Kids can be awful and it’s fucking hard but you need to find a more appropriate way of dealing with it.

If she apologises because she needs food, what does that say about your parenting?

Feed the child, and don't play games with food.

What next? Withholding water until she tows your line?

It’s not a real apology if she’s only doing it coz she’s hungry though is it ?

I can understand that your reasoning, “why should I do things for her if she’s being rude etc”
But it’s not gonna work.
What will you withhold if this doesn’t work?

What happens if she doesn't apologise? Would you withhold dinner completely?

I think it's a bad idea to offer a threat that you can't follow up.

Punishing her by not feeding is a really bad idea. How long do you intend to stick it out for?

You need to think again and make the punishment fit the crime. Be more specific with what she has done and we can suggest something.

She's hungry hence her behaviour?

There are other ways to discipline without having to use food.

Very unreasonable. Food isn’t a treat for gods sake! Feed your child.

Yabvu. Food shouldn't be used as punishment. Feed your child.

Never use food as a punishment. You NEED food to live you can't make a child not eat because they did something bad there are many effective ways to appropriately punish a child without telling them they can't eat if they're bad