To have raised a gentleman?

[Storm4star]

Off the back of another thread, where people are saying men shouldn’t have to give up their seat for a pregnant lady,

I raised a gentleman. He’s in his 20s and gives up his seat on a train for an elderly person or pregnant woman. We had a lovely moment in Japan where he gave up his seat for an elderly lady (men are notoriously bad there for thinking they take precedence over women) and we saw her rummaging in her bag and, as she got off, she gave him a beautiful handmade gift she had there, to say thank you. It was such a sweet moment. Is this so wrong?

Why does feminism mean that men can’t show manners and decency to other human beings because they are female? Is it really so insulting? My son cooks and cleans and is fully aware that any woman in his life should be treated as an equal. However, he is also kind and caring and was raised to treat women respectfully and with kindness. To help them if they need help.

For the most part, women are not as physically strong as men. Men do not need to go through pregnancy, childbirth, period issues, menopause (which I am certainly currently struggling with) etc etc. Why are we pretending that our bodies are the same? Is equal pay and treatment dependant on proving you are physically as “tough” as a man?

I’m actually not sorry that I have raised him to be the man he is, because I am proud of him. I think feminism is a bit skewed to think that we have to be “just like men” to earn equality.

Not sure why I earned a biscuit and I don’t know what a TAAT is.

But yes if he saw a man who needed help then yes obviously he would also help him. The other thread was “is chivalry dead” something along those lines and it just got me thinking about all the equality threads on here and how some women get insulted over kind acts. And how I don’t think that is really what feminism should be about.

I have a lot of equality training at work, mostly racial equality. There it is always about “celebrating diffference” and not about actually treating people exactly the same but about treating them equally taking account of their differing circumstances, factors etc. Shouldn’t feminism be the same?

He does sound like he’d be kind and respectful to anyone.
Personally, I don’t think feminism is about equality as you are understanding it. It’s about having equal rights. Like equal opportunities and equal pay if you’re doing the same job. And other rights too. Look it up.
I try to raise my boys to be kind, considerate, charitable and thoughtful. Just like I try to raise my daughter.

YABVU!

I'm raising mine to be a thorough dickhead.

So far i've bought Trump's biography and we're reading articles on Harvey Weinstein's trial as bedtime stories

For his 7th birthday i'll be buying that Ladybird classic 'How to Kick Grannies'.

Storm4star

holds hands and passes the delicate china.
come over to the darkside and look at the feminist boards it isnt all man hating.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3306029-What-would-you-tell-your-16-year-old-self
err this inst man hating as transwoman arent men dont you know.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3309758-This-never-happens-male-offenders-in-female-prisons
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3308044-Apron-a-symbol-of-repression
My personal favorite
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3305893-identifying-as-a-pony

YANBU

He sounds like a lovely young man and I'm struggling to see how anyone can say differently. I hope my dds end up meeting someone like him.

The bar for men is so low, isn’t it? Imagine if that’s all you had to do to be considered worthy as a woman.

Yup. the OP is annoying. My child is occasionally half-decent to older women - what a prize she has raised.

Not sure how you got that from my thread navigator but he is always decent to any age women. That was an example. He also has givenfood to homeless people. Worked at a youth charity and done various other kind things. But that wasn’t relevant to this thread.

The point people were making on the other thread wasn't that men shouldn't give their seat up, it's that anyone who doesn't need a seat (due to disability etc.) should give their seat up for a heavily pregnant woman. It shouldn't just fall to men to do so, it should be whoever is closest.

That said, my husband would always let a lady have a seat ahead of himself and I love him for it. And I frequently get given seats by men on the tube, and no I am not old and do not look pregnant. Chivalry isn't dead on certain underground lines!

But that wasn’t relevant to this thread.

So why make a big song and dance about when he is polite to women, specifically? Is it just so you could have a pop at your weird, outdated view of feminism? Really struggling with your motives for this thread - you are not coming across well, at all.

You’re misrepresenting what was said on the other thread. Nobody said men shouldn’t offer seats to those who are less able to stand. People said people should offer seats, irrespective of their sex.

To you navigator, but your view is not everyone’s view. I’m not sure how else to spell it out to you. I clearly said “off the back of another thread`’ at the very start of my post. I read another thread, it got me thinking about the whole feminism issue so I commented on that. Is that so hard to understand?

Well what I read was why should men offer seats, women can too. Yes, women can too and often do. But it seems like lately men deliberately don’t offer seats to prove a point. And I am wondering how we got to this. Is it because feminists rant “I can open my own door”. Why is it now that only women are offering seats? That isn’t progress imo.

Lol, thanks Sarah, maybe I should as I seem to not be getting a lot of sense from Aibu 😂

Well I'm a woman and would give up my seat to a pregnant woman. I don't see what being a man has to do with it nor do I see it as particularly gentlemanly behaviour. So, you raised your son to be polite...that's what you're meant to do. Nothing of what you said is especially praise worthy.

I think feminism is a bit skewed to think that we have to be “just like men” to earn equality.

That ain't feminism.

Why are we pretending that our bodies are the same?

We're not.

Is equal pay and treatment dependant on proving you are physically as “tough” as a man

Seriously, what are you on about?! This is total gibberish.

Is it because feminists rant “I can open my own door”.

It’s not a rant. It’s a calm statement of fact. As a strong adult female, I can open a door. I do not need anyone to do it for me unless I’m carrying lots of stuff. Then it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or s woman who helps.

What does TAAT mean?

I'm raising my children to be kind to both sexes.

If a woman stands up for an elderly woman (as I have done in the past), is it just being polite? Whereas men get to be chivalrous for doing the exact same thing? That doesn't sound fair!

Thread about a thread.

Thread about a thread wdigin

it seems like lately men don't offer seats to prove a point

I think the tendency of men (as a generalisation) to start being rude to all women because of the perceived unjust actions of one woman (or the slightly snarky way she said she can open her own door) is pretty well documented already. I'd very firmly say that's their problem, not mine, and therefore nothing to do with feminism.