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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be topless around the kids pool?

561 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:23

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
myrtleWilson · 17/07/2018 19:05

What if she was British and Catholic Wendy ?

Honeyroar · 17/07/2018 19:08

I always used to go topless as a teen/20 something when I was on holiday or lived abroad (mostly France and Greece). I just hated bikini marks. It wasn't remotely attention seeking and it never got any attention. I only stopped when going to other countries where it wasn't usual and I was also always with colleagues.

As someone said, if children and teens on holiday were exposed to normal women topless it would probably be a good thing- at the moment all they see are airbrushed celebs or porn videos.

Personally if I saw a woman topless near a children's pool I'd just think she was sunbathing and keeping an eye on her child. Let's face it, most people without children would be as far as possible from the kids pool. Most kids would be too busy playing and any that did react would probably do so because their parents commented, and would soon get bored. A topless woman just lying there reading isn't that exciting!

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 17/07/2018 19:08

Fairtatas Fair enough if you don't want to see bare breasts on holiday but why on earth would you have to hover around your son saying anything? If your son had never seen boobs before he might ask a question or two then he'd run off playing (unless he's a very unusual child).

PorkFlute · 17/07/2018 19:10

I wouldn’t do it myself but I wouldn’t be bothered if someone else did.

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:13

I have no idea myrtle and it is irrelevant, a Spanish Catholic woman and in THIS culture, would not do it. I have come to despise Brits who come here and think 'oh it's Spain'

It is a Catholic country and you look like a twat if you behave like this.

I bet the OP doesn't do it in her local pool at home, Catholic or Atheist. Heatwave or not.

It is just not done. End of.

Tinkofhousepan · 17/07/2018 19:14

I'm not opposed to topless sunbathing, but I don't think I would be personally comfortable seeing someone do that near a childrens pool.

I'm not quite sure why I feel that way, but it just makes me feel a bit weird. Couldn't you have gone a bit further away?

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 17/07/2018 19:17

My boys are 10 and 12, a few years ago they had questions about why some ladies had their boobs out.. all it took was me shrugging and saying ‘they’re on holiday!’ no further explanation needed.

They also are subjected to seeing me completely starkers on an almost daily basis. We don’t hide in our house... it they turn into awkward teenagers I’ll reassess, but for now... natural nudity is no big deal.

MediocrePenguin · 17/07/2018 19:22

Do people seriously not recognise the difference between a topless male and a topless female?!

Boobs are probably the most sexualised part of a female body - like it or not that makes females going topless hugely different to males doing the same.

FWIW I've been topless on holiday before but would probably think it a bit inappropriate to do it around kids. My son would be STARING 😂

smallchanceofrain · 17/07/2018 19:24

I'm not opposed to topless sunbathing. It's just boobs. However, within our culture boobs are sexualised. Anyone topless sunbathing by the kids pool would be a win-win situation for me because I'm sure that in those circumstances DS1 (aged 16) would be happy to spend time keeping an eye on DS2 - rather than taking himself off to do his own thing, which is what he'd do if there were no boobs to be seen. Grin

BrexitWife · 17/07/2018 19:25

I’m wondering how people are coping when they go on hols in Spain or in the south France.
Beaches are full of women of all ages being topless.

Teenagers are only uneasy because they are so unused to see women topless - thanks to the uk weather.
Teenagers in France wouldnt bat an eyelid!
I personally think it’s doing them a lot of good to see women topless and stop sexualising breasts.

Toddlers just dont care!

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 17/07/2018 19:25

I'm not bothered by boobs on a beach or by a pool. But, not sure if this has already been asked, why is it ok if you'll never see people again but not ok around friends or colleagues? That means boobs are different to men's chests as men wouldn't have an issue around anyone...

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 17/07/2018 19:27

WTF are all these Catholic comments? Confused

I'm a practising Catholic and have no issue sunbathing topless. The Bible does not suggest that breasts are somehow disgusting. Indeed, the Pope has explicitly said that it's fine to breastfeed during Mass in the Sistine Chapel, so I've no idea where all these prudish ideas have come from. ConfusedHmm

BrexitWife · 17/07/2018 19:29

Breast can be both sexualised and not sexualised depending in the context.
I think it’s good that breasts are not always seen in sexualised context. It helps people/teenagers to make the difference between whynis a sexual context and what isn’t.
Which also means it helps, for example, to see that breasts when they are used for bfing aren’t a sexual thing. Whereas, if breasts are ONLY seen as a sexual thing, then they are still seen as a sexual thing when b’fing....
If we can teach our teens to not see breasts as sexualised when b’find I’m sure they can also learn that they are not sexualised on the beach.

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:29

I have absolutely no idea why everyone is trying to be 'right on' about this. I have lived in France, Italy and now Spain.

The beach is fine. A communal pool is not. Fact!

Yes, no big deal, people go topless on the beach BUT NOT AT A COMMUNAL POOL!. It's just not what you do.

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:33

It is deeply religious and very respectful and uptight,traditional country, whether you like it or not.

Maybe not Benidorm...

Nobody exposes their breasts by a public pool where I live. But you go ahead. You WILL be laughed at.

I guarantee Spain is more religious than the UK. Please respect it. Respect the culture.

Rainbunny · 17/07/2018 19:36

Wendy - I get your point but the OP is at a holiday resort in Ibiza, I'm guessing there isn't an overly religious culture at that resort... Grin

SerenDippitty · 17/07/2018 19:36

Just wondering all those who think topless sunbathing is fine, would you be happy being photographed doing so and would you be happy to share the photos with family and friends? If not why not?

jarhead123 · 17/07/2018 19:37

Not appropriate IMO.

Unnecessary

User183737 · 17/07/2018 19:37

Im interested that op would stop if her children asked her to.
If my children asked me to ask you to cover up would you? If not why not?

halfwitpicker · 17/07/2018 19:39

Tan lines are annoying, lets be honest

halfwitpicker · 17/07/2018 19:40

Glad he has his top on

To be topless around the kids pool?
TacoLover · 17/07/2018 19:41

If you wouldn't do the same on a day out at the town centre then why would you do it at the pool? Unless you would do it in the middle of Claire's AccessoriesGrin

JacquesHammer · 17/07/2018 19:41

Just wondering all those who think topless sunbathing is fine, would you be happy being photographed doing so and would you be happy to share the photos with family and friends? If not why not?

Not a fan of having my picture taken at all but I wouldn’t feel any different about it if I were topless. It’s just a holiday pic.

JacquesHammer · 17/07/2018 19:42

If you wouldn't do the same on a day out at the town centre then why would you do it at the pool?

Um.....

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/07/2018 19:44

Wendy
It’s an all inclusive hotel for foreigners and natives. You make it sound as though op has exposed her breasts at a municipal pool.