To be topless around the kids pool?

[WaitrosePigeon]

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

OP
Please tell me you are writing TITS on your chest with arrows in sunblock.
Because that would be inappropriate.
But funny.
I don't think being topless around a kids pool is innapropriate. Breastfeeding mums get their baps out all the time, innwhatever country.
And the teenager comments are stupid, teenagers are the last people to hang around a kids pool.
If you want em out get em out. If people don't like it it's not as though they have to look is it?

I don't think your comments on this helping young girls with body hang ups really make sense ... you can see all sorts of bodies in bikinis .. without sunbathing topless ... last time I saw anyone sunbathing topless was a bunch of old gals in Benidorm!!! ... they looked like a group of scorched up crocodile handbags 👜

... and I'm 52 .. so I'm not being ageist !!!! I'm an old gal myself !!

Leigh and on the other side myself and my siblings always saw my mum topless on holidays and we aren’t traumatised.

My kids are used to it and are not traumatised. If they said anything to me of course I would stop.

Why are the British so happy to get hammered at every opportunity but so prudish about bodies? I much prefer European attitudes to both of those issues.

Please tell me you are writing TITS on your chest with arrows in sunblock.

Fucks sake I should have done that

It's polite and reasonable to go with the accepted culture (both the widre and micro culture you are in at the time )around exposing bodies.

So:
don't get boobs out on a high street .
But
Can get boobs out on a beach where many others are doing so without comment.

A hotel on holiday: I would assess the 'culture' of that particular country and resort. If it seems common and accepted join in if you wish.
If everyone else is covering their breasts I'd keep them covered.

All this 'they're only breasts' so so fake right on.
Yes, but in some situations we accept we don't expose our breasts.

The question here is was this one of those situations, the answer is, depends.

Wonen dont get turned on by mens chests, but men get erections at womens

I really don't accept that. We may notice them or even admire them - but that doesn't automatically lead to an erection. It's where we go with our subsequent thoughts that matters.

I wouldn't want my sons seeing your breasts.at 11 or 12 they can feel embarrassed.you might not mind ,but I bet mothers of young sons mind...and I bet women who haven't got a figure they feel they could go semi naked with ,would be embarrassed if their husbands glance over.but hey op as long as your happy being semi naked .no worries if other people feel awkward or self conscious

Where are you? Sorry if it's mentioned before - I haven't read all 10 pages... Reason I ask is I'd be comfortable 'on the continent' as it's always been fine but not so much in the UK because of British naughty schoolboy, sniggering attitudes toward nudity. If you're in the UK, it will be largely frowned upon. At the same time I totally support your god-given right to get your norks out wherever you (legally) like...

Now we are also responsible for men not getting erections. Even better: top less instigates more erections than a bikini.

OP, do whatever you want to do as long as it feels culturally appropriate in the place you are. I would not recommend you to order a pint in an average Spanish bar and would not recommend you to go top less in Britain because it is not the norm.

Very attention seeking, I'd not want my children exposed to it. You can avoid tan lines by slipping the straps down or getting a different type of bikini. There's no reason whatsoever to go nude.

Leigh
I imagine your kids are only traumatised because you didn’t bring them up exposing your body. I imagine additionally to this, there is some kind of body shaming going on there. Being traumatised is not a usual reaction to seeing a woman or indeed ones grandmother with her boobs out.

A couple of years ago in Tenerife there were topless sunbathers-around a communal pool. I was vaguely tempted to go topless as a holiday experience type thing- wouldn't in England though

Definitely wouldn't now after breastfeeding twins

Even better: we are also responsible for other people's teenagers sense of embarrassment. As if we had not enough with our own. You don't need to go top less for a teenager to feel 'embarrassed'. Just sing a bit around the pool.

Because some people feel 'offended' we should also give up any freedom of expression and keep our opinions to the private domain (even better if we never express them)

I have been in countries were tones of British/European women were on their bikinis despite this being clearly not culturally acceptable. I would not do it. I would go fully clothed in the water, because I try to read my environment.

I would not be top less in Britain. I would in Spain and whatever your British teens and husbands think about it, I could not care less.

I'd not want my children exposed to it

Heaven forbid children see a normal human body

It is astonishing how many use 'their kids' argument to justify their own prejudice and views.

Why would you describe it as parading, Une?

For the same reason I'd describe looking as ogling.

In a fairly close setting with families/kids around, once you become aware you might be making people feel uncomfortable/that it's inappropriate by doing something that is essentially your own pleasure, if you actively choose to continue and sod them I would take a dim view of that.

Seriously! They are only boobs sunbathe topless or naked it doesn't matter. Kids (generally small kids at a kids pool) have seen boobs before and need to realise there is nothing wrong with having a body. Stop making it something to be ashamed of.

Not saying it’s entirely my opinion but to add a new question to the discussion as PPs have asked why around a kids pool is relevant.
Are we not teaching our children their bodies are private? And about where is appropriate to get their bodies out?

If lots of other women are topless, YANBU.
If you're the only one, YABU.

“He’s got his chest exposed, so why not mine, is my reasoning”

Firstly, I couldn’t care less whether you wandered around topless or not.
BUT, you are being rather naïve in assuming that women’s breasts aren’t sexualised, because they are. Why is page 3 so popular? Why do so many teenage boys and men fantasize about women’s breasts? A man’s chest simply doesn’t elicit the same response in women as a topless woman does in men. It’s basic biology and societal conditioning. And trying to make a statement about it won’t change anything.

Quite frankly I’m surprised at some of the answers here. So many women fail to understand that women’s breast are seen as sexual by most men (and some women).

“I just don't want silly tan lines”

I do
TBH I haven’t seen many topless sunbathers in the last few years. I don’t know whether it isn’t the done thing where we go or it is less fashionable. We are off to Majorca next week, and I expect there will be loads of topless women there. Will I care? Not a jot.

DD is a teenager, and I have been privy to various conversations that her male friends have made about female breasts. I can assure you that teenage boys will do all they can to look at them – overtly or subvertly.

TheHulksPurplePanties he is an attractive young man, but so is next door’s cat. Men’s chests are not a turn on for me.

“Something of a tangent but cant believe someone just claimed women don’t get turned on by men’s chests”

No, really Elboo, I don’t

“I don’t mind topless sunbathing, I do it and it’s pretty much everywhere in Europe”

We have been to Italy and Crete recently, and very few women were topless. I didn’t see any topless women on the beach in Sicily last year.

I can't be bothered to read past page 3. But I have lived in Spain 15 years, am mid 40's and sunbathe topless by MY pool and on a beach often.

I hope you are not in Spain.

It s TOTALLY inappropriate at a public pool. It is banned at mine along with eating and drinking and people will be laughing at you behind your back. Would you do this is the UK?

No way a Catholic woman would do this at a public pool. You would clearly be a 'Brit abroad' where I live. Thanks for carrying on with the stereotype.

A beach is different. Depends on where you are. Respect where you are.

Babyitsawildworld has got it spot on! I would try assess the culture of a hotel before I book to make sure it is not one with bare breasts by the children’s pool do I can let my son play without hovering over him saying “ it is a lady’s right to bare her breasts without anyone staring” on a loop. Sometimes you just want to be able to relax and your children play!