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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be topless around the kids pool?

561 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:23

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Rainbunny · 17/07/2018 19:46

"Just wondering all those who think topless sunbathing is fine, would you be happy being photographed doing so and would you be happy to share the photos with family and friends?"

Do you mean would I or should I be ashamed if so? I think you're being a bit disingenuous in that question, of course most women would probably not enjoy being recorded topless but I would also hate to be photographed/recorded with my bikini on. Come to think of it, there are lots of things I would hate to be photographed doing, dancing, chowing down on food, singing, exercising (I was accidentally filmed by a local news crew once as I was doing an outdoor bootcamp class. Not pretty viewing.)

Actually it's partly the prevalence of smart phones, drones with cameras etc.. that is behind a decline in nude sunbathing in countries where it has been a tradition, which I find rather sad really.

www.citylab.com/life/2017/04/fight-over-naked-parks-beaches-germany/523710/

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:47

Rainbunny Get your point too. Thanks!

As I say Benidorm or Ibiza where we already have a despicable reputation...

But the rest of Spain, I am just giving my experience. That is all!

Deeply traditional and religious community where rightly or wrongly, it would be so wrong to do this.

Would you do it in Skegness or, Butlins/ Centreparcs? No? Why not?

Anyway I'm watching Poldark. Looking forward to it all day. The OP is just being goady.

myrtleWilson · 17/07/2018 19:47

Times may be changing though Wendy - a Catalonian village had a vote this year and over 60% of women voted to say yes to sunbathing topless in the municipal pool (not Claire's Accessories Grin ) I know this was to change law rather than sensibilities but may be a sign of changing thinking.

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:48

Rainbunny not aimed at you btw!

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 19:49

It is just not done. End of.

It so is in Ibiza.

OP posts:
User183737 · 17/07/2018 19:50

Dont trust jacques' word she has (whispers)....tattoos

TacoLover · 17/07/2018 19:51

I mean, say you were having a picnic and it was really hot, in the city central park. You wouldn't really take off your bra would youConfused because you're probably surrounded by families. I don't think this situation is really that different to a communal children's pool... why should you being on holiday make a difference?

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:51

Last comment. myrtle I LIVE here with a Spanish husband and child. In Valencia and Madrid this will NOT be changing, at least in my lifetime.

Catalonia is ostracised by the rest of Spain.

But you know best.

Beaches are totally different. It is just how it is.

GunpowderGelatine · 17/07/2018 19:52

God the Pearl clutching on here is hilarious. You do all know that women nipples are the same as men nipples? Anyway saying the OP IBU had better be shouting at men who get their moobs out

Applepudding2018 · 17/07/2018 19:52

How old are your kids OP? Because if they are older than 5 they will be SO embarrassed. Obviously an all over tan is more important than either your kids or your DH's feelings though ...

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 19:53

Yes, no big deal, people go topless on the beach BUT NOT AT A COMMUNAL POOL!. It's just not what you do.

It’s not a public pool. It’s an all inclusive hotel. Topless sunbathing at this hotel IS permitted and other women were doing Smile

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 17/07/2018 19:53

Sorry to break it to you but women go topless in the park near my office in Central London.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 19:54

Both over 5 and no they aren’t Smile

OP posts:
WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:54

OP I didn't realise you were in Ibiza. It is not really Spain.

Ibiza or Benidorm is entirely different. Brits abroad. Go for your life.

Rainbunny · 17/07/2018 19:54

Wendy - I'm not offended at all Smile and I agree with you that there are places where it is not deemed acceptable, even in countries where it's fine to be topless on the beach etc...

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 19:55

I suppose if you had bothered to read past page 3 you would have known I was in Ibiza and therefore not made irrelevant comments.

Brit’s abroad indeed, that’s why we go Smile

OP posts:
User183737 · 17/07/2018 19:55

Thats rank spirited
Agree about Catalonia. Traditionally quite respectable

SpiritedLondon · 17/07/2018 19:55

wendycope I hope you’re not THE Wendy Cope

MandalaYogaTapestry · 17/07/2018 19:55

I don't take my top off at the beach because what's underneath is private. I happily sublnbathe topless in my garden when I am on my own. It doesn't make me a prude or repressed and frankly such remarks are offensive.

byanyothernamerose · 17/07/2018 19:55

I grew up holidaying abroad for at least two weeks every summer with my family and another family. Both mums in the families sunbathed topless from when we were young until we were teenagers. I was never embarrassed or freaked out by this? The boys/male teenagers in the other family were not upset or turned on by the sight of my mother's breasts. Since I was 18 I have sunbathed topless when abroad in places where it is commonplace. I do this not for attention but because it is soooo much more comfortable. If men can be comfortable in just swimming shorts, why can't I? I don't run around the pool with my boobs bouncing and I usually put a top on when I get into the pool, but maybe not in the sea. I definitely do not do this for attention as I do not particularly like my boobs or wish to be judged on them, I am just past the point of caring what others think (I'm early 30's). I don't get the issue? They are just breasts? I am also planning to breastfeed and have no intention of scurrying away to a toilet cubicle somewhere when my baby needs a feed in public...should I hide away then too?

Go for it OP!!! You are being appropriate...breasts don't have to be sexual unless you make them so. Context is everything in my opinion...

User183737 · 17/07/2018 19:57

I breastfed in public. Its different.

SpiritedLondon · 17/07/2018 19:58

Well maybe but can people stop making such sweeping generalisation- “ We don’t do this in the UK etc.” It does my head in. I’d rather not be represented by some of you lot.... god some of you are so uptight.

WendyCope · 17/07/2018 19:58

men are like buses

SpiritedLondon · 17/07/2018 20:00

bloody men are like bloody buses

Sofiathefirst2346 · 17/07/2018 20:02

I’d go topless. Cant believe some of the comments on here!!!! I go topless in my back garden, I get in the bath and get changed in front of children’s friends if they are staying over. Europe and other hot countries don’t have the crazy hang ups we seem to have about boobs. Enjoy the freedom and get them out xx