Don't want his family to visit me in hospital?

[BettieAnne]

Having discussion with DP last night. He was talking about how his dad visited him and his ex in hospital when his DD was born, so did his brother and mum. I don't know his mum and brother well and his dad is a little odd. I'm not comfortable around any of them.

AIBU to want my mum and Dad to visit, because I'm more than happy for them to see me in whatever state with a baby covered in all sorts, but to not feel comfortable with his family seeing me like that, so expecting them to visit in the days after after I'm home?

Of course his DD can come to the hospital with him as I'm more than happy for her to see me in a mess!

DP thinks his family should be there right after the birth. I don't want to be overwhelmed by people I'm not comfortable with.

AIBU to be asking for it this way?

Also worth considering that the hospital may not let additional visitors in, it may be birth partners only so that’s a problem solved, tho it may mean your dad can’t come in either.

@BettieAnne In light of your baby needing some extra care after it's born due to the scan info, I would say to your in laws that you aren't sure how you will feel with regards them visiting afterwards. If they mention about your parents being there, explain again what roles they are doing, so not a case of being invited first to visit.

As you say, you are probably only going to be kept in for 6 hours or so, so could be home by the end of that day, so they can be the first to meet their grandchild in its home. Would that work for you?
I totally agree you should be able to decide who you have coming to the ward after you've had a baby. I'm so glad my in laws lived abroad when mine were born. I don't think I could have bared them visiting in the hospital. My dhs grandma got the train down to visit though, but she was lovely and no trouble at all.
Hope the birth goes well, and you manage to sort something out

Gah! Baby's about three now....

@LittleOwl153

Dependant on when you are due - I think alot of this will be immaterial anyway as most hospital wards are pretty tight on visitors currently and I would be surprised if your dad or his DD were allowed in let along a bus load of visitors.

Personally I would say that in the delivery suit you do not want extra visitors - when my 6 year old was born the only people who were allowed in the delivery suite were my birthing partner and my mum who brought my older DC in to meet sibling - and they were only allowed in as there was a delay to getting me to the ward.

If you end up transferred to the ward then that is the time for visitors. The staff will have you sorted out before you get there so you are presentable and you can use the visiting times to control the amount of time people are there - keeping it down. If you do not go to the ward then they can visit at home.

She was due in 2018 so it’s to be hoed the OP and her now toddler are no longer in hospital and are well and truly settled in at home!!

YANBU. It’s not an equal opportunities thing, unless DH is also due to give birth at the same time.