to think that being mixed race can be mentally draining at times?

[MissFranklin]

I understand, I've just joined mn and in the space of an hour have started two threads on race. I promise I am not race-obsessed and am genuinely curious about opinions on this - my other thread inspired me to ask this. I'll disappear back to watching the pregnancy board intensely after this...

Does anyone else find that being mixed race comes with a few (some laughable, some not so) problems?

• Application forms where there is no option for 'mixed' - or simply having to tick 'other', as if all mixed race folks are an amalgamation of each other.
• being asked 'but where are you ORIGINALLY from', when 'London' does not suffice (ok, I'm being pedantic but this does irk me a little)
• people not believing that your mother is really your mother...
• having to smile sweetly when called 'half-caste' because you know from experience that it's not worth the hassle of explaining the origins of this term
• being called a 'lighty'
• being told 'that's your black side coming out' when you do certain things
• being able to call yourself black, but raising an eyebrow when you refer to yourself as white
• exoticism... 'oh you're so exotic looking!'

Lots of other things, the list could go on..

Obviously these are just my experiences. Whilst my heritage doesn't solely make me who I am, it plays a large part, and comes with lots of small problems, that when grouped together, can be quite mentally taxing at times (Trevor Noah explains brilliantly).

AIBU to think that other people MUST feel the same?

(Yes I know, a bit unreasonable to start two threads on similar things at the same time, but I was inspired by my last thread and figured it's an open forum so why not!)

"Race" describes the shared experiences, close genetics and similar physical traits of a group of closely related people. I've generally found that people who ignore those similarities in the name of semantics are not very socially aware.

Claire you can't let your children go around calling themselves 'quarter caste', that's awful!

Why are they so keen for people to know they are only a quarter non-white?

We are not the same race.

yes we are

We are the same species. Race is not a biological classification

yes it is

Tea I think, officially, quarter caste means you are a quarter white

Race" describes the shared experiences, close genetics and similar physical traits of a group of closely related people. I've generally found that people who ignore those similarities in the name of semantics are not very socially aware.

I find people who ignore the genetics are not very scientifically aware.

I am a geneticist. "Race" is a specific genetic term that you are using wrongly. You are referring to ethnic origin

I am white, my partner is not. I was out with my newborn yesterday and a woman told me how cute he was and then asked if he was adopted. She was shocked when I replied that he was not, "He's yours???!!!" I was a little taken aback that a stranger, or anyone really, would ask me that. She seemed to think I owed her an explanation.

Do you mean subspecies?

@Clairetree1 ok fine, there is one biological race - Homo Sapiens. It doesn't mean that race as a social construct doesn't exist. Race consists of historical facts, linguistic differences, ethnicities, religions, cultural differences. Etc. Etc. There ARE racial differences. Look at health disparities alone? I think you're very naive (or brave?) to say that race doesn't exist. Maybe it doesn't exist in the way that many people think it does but it does absolutely exist!

@metoodear A social worker, good grief!
I'm watching and learning for my DD.
Our DCs are adopted from overseas, everyone thinks you'd get a "white baby" from there so they are a bit taken aback when we say that's where DD is from. But in many ways yes, their home area is a lot like London and she is 100% typical of there!

Tea I think, officially, quarter caste means you are a quarter white

Not where I live it's not, but would be interested to know how Claire uses it.

Oh come on! Blond haired men would have had those same advantages.

no, of course they didn't.

It was an advantage for a male to be blond as a child when making bones, but as an adult, no advantge at all. it is the pregnant woman who's body is making the bones of a new baby, and for whom blond hair was an advantge, no advantage at all to men.

Also Neanderthals, etc were different subspecies in the overarching human family not different races.

No, neanderthals were the same species as modern humans, and successfully interbred with them. They were not a different subspecies at all, identical species,

just a different race.

Claire in many places ethnicity is used to mean something else entirely. The OP is correct to use race in this way. It is true though that sometimes in the UK we use "ethnicity" or "heritage" where other speakers of English would use "race".

Not where I live it's not, but would be interested to know how Claire uses it. my children use it to represent being 4 different ethnic origins

Well claire I'm glad you are willing to ignore racism so that you can put your degree to good use. You still haven't explained why you are happy to describe your children as only a quarter pure, by the way.

The OP is correct to use race in this way.

well, I find it deeply offensive, as do many others who actually understand what the word "race" means, and know that it is being used to describe people who are most definitely NOT of a different race.

You still haven't explained why you are happy to describe your children as only a quarter pure, by the way. That this is a bad thing, is purely your interpretation, my children consider it a very good thing to be a mix.

there are no advantages to genetic purity in any sense.

Your award is in the post Clairetree, I don't know where we'd be without you setting us straight on that very salient and relevant point. It's contributed massively to the thread and I for one am ashamed for describing myself as 'mixed race'. Thank god you managed to put your studies to good use. At least one of us will sleep well tonight.

As semantics is so important to you, claire I suggest you look up the etymology of the word caste.

I agree, colour is not ‘race’, we are one race with different skin colours and some local / ethnic characteristics.

But I still don’t find ‘mixed race’ offensive. I tend to say ‘mixed’ because my kids really are very mixed. Their parents are iof different sex and genders, different ethnicities, religious and cultural
background, class, nationality.., ‘mixed’ seems to cover it all

My kids wouldn’t dream of calling themselves or anyone else any proportion of ‘caste’,

No, neanderthals were the same species as modern humans, and successfully interbred with them. They were not a different subspecies at all, identical species

Perhaps we need some clarification from the Natural History Museum!

Neanderthals were humans like us, but they were a distinct species called Homo neanderthalensis.

So again different species, same family.

claire you sound entirely indoctrinated. Someone smart enough to work in genetics must understand that whilst race doesn't technically exist in the way many people think it does, it absolutely exists in others? I think you are being extremely pedantic and are not really contributing anything of worth to this thread, other than making yourself look like a bit of a numpty.

Anyway... now that claire has let us know that we don't need to worry about racism because race doesn't exist, I guess we can all go to bed and not worry our heads over this! That's what I'm doing anyway!

Not sure why everybody assumes mixed race means white/black. It can be any two races. I am white /Asian but usually get mistaken for Greek,Spanish or Italian. My mother had Irish parents but had hair and skin as dark as mine but with blue eyes .

I have been known to ask people where they’re from...based on their non local accent. Skin colour hasn’t been a factor, not once. If someone ethnically Asian says London then that’s where they’re from. If someone ethnically Caribbean says Edinburgh, then that’s where they’re from.

I do notice people’s colour insofar as I see it and acknowledge their heritage isn’t the same as mine. I think white people saying “I don’t see colour” is very dismissive, well intentioned generally speaking but there is a difference between seeing it, acknowledging different cultures and histories and judging someone by their colour. And that is what the “I don’t see” lot are not actually seeing.