to think that being mixed race can be mentally draining at times?

[MissFranklin]

I understand, I've just joined mn and in the space of an hour have started two threads on race. I promise I am not race-obsessed and am genuinely curious about opinions on this - my other thread inspired me to ask this. I'll disappear back to watching the pregnancy board intensely after this...

Does anyone else find that being mixed race comes with a few (some laughable, some not so) problems?

• Application forms where there is no option for 'mixed' - or simply having to tick 'other', as if all mixed race folks are an amalgamation of each other.
• being asked 'but where are you ORIGINALLY from', when 'London' does not suffice (ok, I'm being pedantic but this does irk me a little)
• people not believing that your mother is really your mother...
• having to smile sweetly when called 'half-caste' because you know from experience that it's not worth the hassle of explaining the origins of this term
• being called a 'lighty'
• being told 'that's your black side coming out' when you do certain things
• being able to call yourself black, but raising an eyebrow when you refer to yourself as white
• exoticism... 'oh you're so exotic looking!'

Lots of other things, the list could go on..

Obviously these are just my experiences. Whilst my heritage doesn't solely make me who I am, it plays a large part, and comes with lots of small problems, that when grouped together, can be quite mentally taxing at times (Trevor Noah explains brilliantly).

AIBU to think that other people MUST feel the same?

(Yes I know, a bit unreasonable to start two threads on similar things at the same time, but I was inspired by my last thread and figured it's an open forum so why not!)

I don’t think I would persist and probably wouldn’t even ask in the first place, in case I caused offense, but I would be curious about your ethnic origin. I would also feel the same way about someone that had an accent I couldn’t place.

Can’t believe there are people out there asking/ saying this stuff. I would hope it was more foot in mouth stupidity, than anything more untoward.

Browning @Tinyhandprintseverywhere ?

I find all this a bit wierd. we are a mixed race family. In our part of the country people seem pretty relaxed about race in general and mixed race marriages are two a penny - have been ever since I can remember.

We live in an otherwise all white village - no problems, but then our culture is, and has always been British or British centred.

4little absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone's heritage (though I do find it a little odd at times that a complete stranger would want to know my ethnic origins - not offensive though). I think it's the way it's asked that makes the difference.

Oh yes! I get comments like this quite regularly! This thread has definitely confirmed that it's not just my experience...

rum out of curiosity, what do you find weird about it? It's a norm for me to experience things such as this and I live in a very multi cultural city.

Have you ever been called Browning?
Usually by Jamaican men.

tiny never heard of that one! I've been called a red bone a couple of times..

Long before the lighty, there was the Browning! I know, cos I used to get called it all the time. I'd also get the comments, mainly from darker skinned black people about being stuck up.

skippy only ever been called a lighty. You know what I may have been called browning (I've been called many things) and not even realised what I'm being called as I have never heard of it! Who knows. I've just googled and it's not a nice term..

MissFranklin

Agreed a person with a broad welsh accent speaking welsh is unlikely to be off the boat from the Congo is it it’s otthering and really rude

If you want to know we’re someone’s asnscors are from then ask that question but it’s them wanting you to know they roundly don’t view you as British

My dc are mixed. Dd gets the lighty thing all the time. Ds weirdly doesn't, and they've got exactly the same colouring!

skippy I've found it's usually men shouting it at women. I've never heard of a man being called 'lighty'

Op I've been called them all, I don't think alot of people, mainly black people feel it's offensive.

Agreed Franklin.

meetoo it's not even the 'where are you originally from?' question that's the issue here. It's when a person assumes the answer is one thing, and refuses to accept your answer, thus pressing further as they simply don't believe you/can't accept that you are British that an issue arises.

tiny it's awful but I've become so used to it that I just roll my eyes. I used to be quite militant when calling out racist terms like this but now I just cannot be bothered with the aggro.

Op, I feel exactly the same now I just don't bother to reply.

If you want to know we’re someone’s asnscors are from then ask that question but it’s them wanting you to know they roundly don’t view you as British

@Metoodear

Completely disagree with this, I’m not minimising the racism you face... I know it’s a real issue. But to assume everyone who takes an interest in your family origins is trying to remind you how unBritish you are is very wrong.

I have lots of friends who are British whose parents are from elsewhere, I find it interesting and they like to talk about that part of them, if they have a strong connection (which most do).

What is "mixed race privilege" perceived to be?

Where are you from?
No, before that, where are you from originally?
Where are your parents from?

Bitch I gave you all the answers you're gonna get. I don't think I'm getting an A on this quiz somehow. Even though you'd think I'd be an expert on myself 😂

ifyousee I'm not white, but I'm not not white either, so technically I should still benefit from some of the privileges that my white mother benefits from. Much more likely to be a think if you are mixed with white and something else. It's extremely complex.

*thing

I'm mixed race, but white/arab. I look white but olive skinned and so it is hard having people not recognise my heritage.
For anyone using half caste, you should read them the John Agard poem 'excuse me, standing on one leg/I'm half caste'

Has anyone else come across the term 'quarter-caste' as well? I heard someone refer to themselves as this recently and I hadn't heard it before...

IfyouseeRitaMoreno

Being mixed is often seen as the acceptable face of black for example

Mixed raced Models are used in place of black ones also like Obama he wheeled out his mother to remind the voters yes I am half black but look at my mum wink wink still one of you guys

If you look at the comments stormzys girl grind mama Jamma made about black women dispite being mixed herself