MIL, breastfeeding and control.

[flamingox]

I'm just under 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby and am planning to breastfeed.

I have spoken to my own Mum to mention to family/visitors that because I'm going to be breastfeeding and will be establishing supply etc in the first few weeks for visitors to text to arrange when is best to come and while they're here there could be times when me and baby leave the room for a quick feed - I don't want to be under pressure to master feeding under a cover while I still haven't got the hang of feeding. Obviously this may not be the case but wanted people to be aware before they came.

I mentioned the same to MIL to pass through their family, particularly to SIL who can be quite difficult. She seemed horrified that I was planning to breastfeed and started telling me that breastfeeding is a form of control that allows the mother to keep the baby from family and do whatever she likes without involving anyone...I should strongly consider formula as she bottle fed her babies as did SIL and this allowed family to take baby for the day in the first two weeks (!) to bond.

AIBU to think she is being an absolute nightmare?! Everything I am planning for the baby is not good enough unless her and SIL hAve done it previously. I am wrong to use a co-sleeping crib, wrong to be considering sing and sign classes, wrong to look into baby led weaning, the list is endless and it's really starting to get to me.

OP.... this is your mils reaction to breastfeeding which is absolutely none of her business. My concern would be where she plans on sticking her nose in on issues where she absolutely feels she has the right to meddle in (birthdays Xmas holidays...). Shut her down now and shut her down hard. Women like this need to be reigned in so their expectations don’t get out of control.

Are we really rehashing this same thread again? I am utterly convinced Mumsnet HQ just rolls out the same ones every 12 months.

Your baby. Your choice. Not hard

Tell MIL to pi55 off and make your DH deal with her from then on.

Bloody hell she thinks she will be taking your baby within the first 2 weeks so she can bond?! My son was bottle fed since birth and no one except my husband has looked after him for an entire day and he is 14 months. No one other than you and your partner needs to bond with the baby that early on. Plenty of time for her to do that later. Make your boundaries quite clear. If she is anything like my mil you give and inch she will take a mile.

Oh and I was accused of being controlling because I didn’t want my mil bottle feeding my son when he was tiny so you can’t bloody win even if you’re not bf sometimes!