Is this too long for a nursery day?

[Constantlurker]

My DD is due to start nursery soon and my DH and I are trying to figure out what is best for her in terms of hours vs days. We both have the option to work extra hours in the week to then have 1 day off (and still get the same salary IYSWIM). So she would only have to go to nursery 3 days per week Mon-Wed then have 1 day with mum and 1 day with dad then the weekend with both of us. It would save a craxy amount of money in fees but the trouble is in order to do that we need to work extra hours so she would be in nursery from 7:30am - 5:30pm on those days.

I hadn't thought this was an issue until I mentioned it to someone and they were horrified. Said I was a terrible person to even consider leaving my child for such a long day, I shouldn't have bothered having kids if I was gonna dump them at nursery for so long etc. Made me feel like absolute crap.

The logical side of my brain is telling me the person is a complete dick and she'll be absolutely fine and what the hell are working parents supposed to do but the mum part of me now feels horrifically guilty. AIBU to send her in for so long?

I'm curious as to what other people think and if their DC go in for that length of time do they cope ok?

Thanks everyone!

@2up2manydown nah mate. The little voice in my head is usually preoccupied with 'how many mint feasts is too many mint feasts'

2up2manydown - I think that the research is a lot more complex than that, but don’t let facts get in the way of your sneering hey?

Yes let’s not go off at a a tangent with all the dodgy spurious research

OP, the person who said that the day was too long is being unnecessarily cruel. 7:30am to 5:30pm isn't long at all. 7am/7.30am must a standard drop off time and 6.30 for pick up. And most kids will do that 5 days a week, not 3 like your DD.

Ignore the cruel person and do what your family needs.

Both my DCS have gone to nursery 7.45am- 5.30 pm for 2 days a week until school age. We leave the house at 7am to commute and get back at 6.30pm. On my days at home we all recover from the long days. Nurseries have a great routine with naps and quiet periods, time outside, key workers activities, group activity etc do the children aren't just doing the same thing for 10 hours. Mine have loved it and thrived.
A couple of non working mums have expressed horror about the long days and their children only do 3 hours a day mon-Fri. Eg 9am-12pm. Fine if it works for them but I like having whole days off with my DCS so we can suit ourselves, go out for the day if we want etc. Both mine have reached and exceeded their targets for early learning goals and are happy children so it hasn't harmed them!

Not bogus at all many more studies available
www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/long-term-study-following-4500-children-links-childcare-better-outcomes

As for the all children go to nursery free spaces are difficult to obtain in some areas and she still sees many children each year who haven't been either because their parents tried it then took them out, a number who take attachment parenting to the nth degree and a small number of children whose parents care little about child development - sad but true.

Also meant to add that a lot of babies and young childen go to nursery 7.30-6 pm 5 days a week. They adapt and their carers will give them adequate rest and sleep time.

Many children prefer longer days. When I stopped working for a bit (due to relocating to a different part of the country) my plan was for DD to just go to nursery four mornings a week but she didn't like going home when all her friends were staying on for the afternoon! I changed things so that she went for one full day and two mornings. If I had more money at the time, I would have paid for three full days as she would have certainly preferred it.

My DD went 6.30-5.30 every day to start. This has now changed to only 3 days a week since DH is now part-time.
There was no other way for us, we couldn't take a financial paycut to work less.
Do what you have to. There will always be those who criticize.

It's fine. Both mine have done these times either 2 or 3 days a week. Neither have come to any harm, and both well prepared for school. Sounds like you have a good balance of family/nursery to me. It will do her good.

"For those posters asking how people can leave their kids in childcare 5 days a week- not everyone has the option of flexible or part time working but can’t afford not to work at all."
Nursery is very expensive I just dont believe people who say they cant afford not to work 5 days a week so they HAVE to put their kids in, particularly those in a partnership.
Secondly and actually most importantly, I think babies are only tiny once and they need their Mummy, I also think personally as a mother you would miss out on an awful lot of their milestones, 5days a week from very early in the morning till the evening is the majority of the week.
Putting them in 5 days a week all long days is a long time away from their Mother.
Its my opinion and I am entitled to it.

Secondly and actually most importantly, I think babies are only tiny once and they need their Mummy

Even if they need a parent, why does it have to be "mummy". Can't father's look after their children too?

Putting them in 5 days a week all long days is a long time away from their Mother. Its my opinion and I am entitled to it.

As long as other people are entitled to think that your opinions are ridiculous, sexist nonsense.

What ever you feel hun

"Even if they need a parent, why does it have to be "mummy". Can't father's look after their children too? "
Of course!!!

"As long as other people are entitled to think that your opinions are ridiculous, sexist nonsense."
Think what you like, My view is from a mother hence why I said mother but you can add father in their too 😊

What about working fathers- do they miss out on babies milestones- or do they just not matter

Nishky I think it depends on the hours worked doesnt it really, but of course if you work alot you miss out what gender you are doesnt change that., My Dad worked an awful lot growing up and he did miss out on alot by his own admission, I think op has striked a really good balance for both working and child getting time with both parents.

But does it matter? Or do babies just need their mummies- because that is what you said

Nishky refer to my previous post

Your previous post doesn’t answer my question

Is it only absent mummies that matter

If you refer to my post at 15:35, Unfortunately you cant edit posts on here so I added in father...

You added father when pulled up about it by a previous poster. The point I am making is that you did not say parent initially!

Ok its getting a bit tiresome Nishky so I will leave you to it I cant keep repeating myself, off out for dinner. Enjoy.

Pretylovely....how can you not believe people have to work five days a week? I worked five days a week to pay off my mortgage and now my kids will always have a roof over their head. They loved nursery and thrived there. They are well rounded individuals. It's fine them no harm. Yes you are entitled to an opinion but so is everyone else.

Also it’s not just about what you earn when they are young, if I hadn’t worked I wouldn’t have progressed to the salary I am on now which means my children will not have to leave university in debt. I was lucky that I could work part time when they were little- had I no worked at all then I would be earning a lot less.

I went full time when my husband wanted to start his own business and we weren’t sure how it would go. As he was working from home he was there when they came home from school. We are a team- it’s not a case of as I’m a mummy I must be at home