Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did I set a bad example for DD

194 replies

Constantworkinprogress · 05/07/2018 08:45

Maybe an AIBU, maybe more WWUD?

Popped into a cheap shop today. Planning a day out tomorrow. Got 2 umbrellas, got 2 travel coffee cups, got 2 little lunch bags and a few other crafty things my DD7 picked. Went through the checkout, girl had packed everything into bags and total came to $23. Straight away I knew it was an under charge. The umbrellas were $12 each.
I paid and was checking the docket as we walked to the car. As I suspected she had only charged all the double items once.

I said to my DD "We got some stuff for free, she only charged us once for all the double items"
My DD said "You mean we accidentally stole things"
I said "No, we didn't steal anything, it was her mistake"

My rule is, if it's my mistake I'll fix it. If it's their mistake, I'll leave it.

Just got me thinking though - Did I set a bad example for my DD?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 05/07/2018 08:46

Yes of course you did.
Your daughter was correct though- so you’ve not done too bad a job. Or maybe that was school where they teach right from wrong. Tell her she was correct and perhaps you could make a charity donation to the value that you stole. If you can’t return to the store...

Regingaphalange · 05/07/2018 08:47

You taught your child it's ok to steal and you think that's acceptable Confused

WheresTheEvidence · 05/07/2018 08:47

Yes

Lazypuppy · 05/07/2018 08:47

I would have done the same but i wouldn't have told my DD. She doesn't need to know

BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2018 08:47

Yes, you did!

LadyLoveYourWhat · 05/07/2018 08:48

Yes, you did. You should have pointed out the mistake as soon as you noticed it - I don't think you have accidentally stolen at all here, you've done it knowingly.

longwayoff · 05/07/2018 08:49

You have to ask? Please.

SD1978 · 05/07/2018 08:49

Yes. Your daughter has developed more morals at 7 than you have as an adult. I hope you’re never in the position of making a mistake and having someone knowingly take advantage of it and then crow about it.

Hideandgo · 05/07/2018 08:49

Your daughter is teaching you a lesson here unfortunately. I’d be a bit ashamed.

Hiphopopotamus · 05/07/2018 08:50

Would you leave it if ‘their mistake ‘ was charging you double?

midnight1983 · 05/07/2018 08:50

If you can afford to pay for everything you should have owned up. Sales assistants can lose their jobs for mistakes like that.

HumpHumpWhale · 05/07/2018 08:50

Jesus Christ. You knew as soon as you heard the total that it was wrong. You didn't accidentally steal things; you intentionally stole things. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 08:51

Seriously crap behaviour. And that's before the consideration that staff sometimes have to make up the difference if their till is short.
Just generally icky.

Clubcuts · 05/07/2018 08:51

YABU and a very bad example to your DD

Isadora2007 · 05/07/2018 08:52

If you can afford to pay for everything you should have owned up

And if you can’t afford to pay for everything you shouldn’t have had it in your basket surely!?!?

jumblefun2 · 05/07/2018 08:52

You stole. you should have spoken up at the till.

Of course you stole. How can you not know this Hmm

slovenlys · 05/07/2018 08:52

You did it knowingly because you knew as soon as she told you the total (before you handed over the cash) that she was short charging you. Terrible example.
If you wanted to steal get away without paying for an item then don't point it out to DD at least!!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/07/2018 08:53

God,that’s awful. You actually said to your dd “we’ve got some stuff for free”?? And the poor kid had to correct you Hmm

wheezing · 05/07/2018 08:54
Shock

Of course that’s a terrible example to set. You stole. Can you go back now and say you’ve just realised?

Local shops aren’t making big profits on the stuff you buy. They made a big loss on you today (because you stole from them). This puts them that much closer to not being able to pay staff wages and rent. FFS.

ferntwist · 05/07/2018 08:54

You certainly did. As soon as you realised you should have told them. It’s stealing otherwise.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 05/07/2018 08:54

If I notice anything sounds too cheap in the shop I’ll say ‘Oh is that for x, y and z?’ to give them chance to pick up on their mistake.

Fine if you want to see it as their problem and save yourself a bit of cash but I wouldn’t have even mentioned it to DD in that case.

Ohyesiam · 05/07/2018 08:55

Your dd is doing a good job of parenting youGrin

ferntwist · 05/07/2018 08:55

Sounds like your DD has a perfect moral compass already!

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 05/07/2018 08:55

YABU. I have always owned up when anything like this has happened to me. It's especially sad that your daughter realised what you were doing was wrong and you did it anyway.

Mulberry72 · 05/07/2018 08:57

You stole, you know you did, your DD knows you did.

Shameful.