Did I set a bad example for DD

[Constantworkinprogress]

Maybe an AIBU, maybe more WWUD?

Popped into a cheap shop today. Planning a day out tomorrow. Got 2 umbrellas, got 2 travel coffee cups, got 2 little lunch bags and a few other crafty things my DD7 picked. Went through the checkout, girl had packed everything into bags and total came to $23. Straight away I knew it was an under charge. The umbrellas were $12 each.
I paid and was checking the docket as we walked to the car. As I suspected she had only charged all the double items once.

I said to my DD "We got some stuff for free, she only charged us once for all the double items"
My DD said "You mean we accidentally stole things"
I said "No, we didn't steal anything, it was her mistake"

My rule is, if it's my mistake I'll fix it. If it's their mistake, I'll leave it.

Just got me thinking though - Did I set a bad example for my DD?

OP, far more people do it than they admit to on MN. I think your biggest error in this situation was telling your child because it's setting a bad example for her in the sense that depending on your DD's age, things might still be pretty black and white for her. I don't think it's theft: OP went to the till, items were rung through, server charged her incorrectly and she left. CCTV would show she didn't run out of the shop halfway through the transaction or try to hide anything, she was willing to pay. It's reasonable to think the OP has not noticed the error if the cashier didn't. In the US perhaps employees are expected to compensate for this kind of thing.

likeacrow

I just read the law. I don't see which aspect of the five points aren't met by this incident?

Hell no. I'd be thinking, nice one, hope they don't notice. People on this thread are either talking shit or really are like no one I know IRL.

That's so desperately sad. I feel sorry for you tbh.

We have honesty cafes dotted about our offices. You take food and pay for it yourself. There's no CCTV, no security, so you could take as much food as you like without paying for it.

I'm guessing if you worked here you would have a field day stealing food. Thankfully people here are honest and the system works.

Well done in raising a very astute daughter at the mere age of 7.

Don't personally agree with your ethics but I'm certainly impressed with your daughter and her ability to read a situation.

I don’t think it’s theft... she didn’t run out of the shop halfway through the transaction or try to hide anything
Flabbergasting . Op knew fine well she hadn’t paid, because she boasted about the “free” items she’d scored to her daughter as soon as she’d left the shop.

zippey The OP is NOT Jean Valjean, that's just a surreal, bonkers thing to say.

In the UK, the law on theft is straightforward and this would be classed as theft. Not so sure about Oz though.

@Shumpalumpa I wouldn't take food in that scenario. Thanks v much for your pity though.

@Pengggwn The intention to be dishonest needed to be there from the offset. She made an attempt to pay and paid what was asked. In the words of aforementioned police officer, he's dealt with more thefts than you've had hot shits. He knows what he's talking about.

Right, I'm off to drink beer and eat pizza now. Enjoy the view from those horses all.

likeacrow

I don't recall reading that in the summary of the law. Link?

Make sure you pay the bill, won’t you?

Pengggwn

I can't "link" you to a person.

It would be hard (well, impossible) to actually prove in a court of law that op was aware that she had stuff in her possession that she hadn’t paid for, likeacrow, which is why the police wouldn’t waste their time on it.
Not because it isn’t theft. It’s irrelevant in this instance anyway; op has admitted she was very well aware she had “free” stuff and crowed about it to her 7 year old.
That’s fairly shit, in most people’s eyes.

What about popping back with your receipt tomorrow OP, and offering to pay the difference? It's not a great scenario, but if your dd sees you trying to put the situation right, it may help a little?

@Shumpalumpa I wouldn't take food in that scenario. Thanks v much for your pity though.

Really? Why not likeacrow? Interesting that you don't say why. And now you're running away.

Even just pence!? If they found money on the floor in shops, I made them hand it in at customer services

likeacrow

To the information, not the foul-mouthed policeman.

Did some Googling last night.

First came to a site where all the responses were - Shop's mistake, their loss. Not stealing. Only one poster thought it was theft.
Next site was British, posters all very strongly thought it was stealing.
Last site was an Australian forum. Everyone on that one thought it was no big deal at all. Shop's mistake, their loss.

Also discovered the law in Australia for this kind of thing is that in the case of being undercharged by a store, the transaction is over once you leave the store. In the case of being overcharged, you still have the right to return and receive the overcharged amount back. It's heavily in the customers favour, it's a customer is always right type thing.

I'm not saying it makes it right, it's just a response to the talk about legalities.

Also found it interesting the difference in responses on the English forums compared to the Aussie's responses. It's obviously the "She'll be right mate" attitude that PP have said they dislike.

Thanks for all the opinions. It's all good!

@shumpalumpa Really? Why not likeacrow? Interesting that you don't say why. And now you're running away.

Because I have moral guidelines. They're just different from yours. Is that honestly so different to understand?

I didn't "run off" I stopped debating with strangers on the internet in order to drink beer & enjoy pizza with my DH. Cool with you?

@Pengggwn I got the information from the "foul mouthed" copper. I don't have a link. Honest to god it's not going to affect my day if you don't believe me. He's dealt with over 1000 shoplifting incidents in his career and has to thoroughly account for why an arrest has/has not been made in each case, but I'm sure you know more.

Oh I'm off to spend the day with family now. Is that okay? Just want to be clear I'm not accused of "running off" if I don't respond. God forbid anyone actually have a life...

likeacrow

I have no interest in 'affecting your day'. You are debating with people on the internet. This person is in disagreement with you. It's no more or less than that.

I do not think legally from police /law point of view it was stealing she put everything on the counter they rang it through she collected goods and paid what was asked

then come the trickier bit morally
A.) she knew she was undercharged legally she does not need to say anything but if cashier said hey wait a minute you have 2 and I only charged one , i'll need to add it on OP would have paid to refuse at this point would legally be theft because she knew the total was not right she knew she had unpaid for goods but because she had not intended to deprive owner of their property it is not theft. if total had been correct she would have paid it,
morally she should have pointed mistake out

B.) this is not the case here but if total was wrong and you had not realised until you got home or maybe you never realise because you don't check off multiple items against the receipt; you have not stole though you have unpaid for goods, you have done nothing wrong morally, if you realise when you get home you could ring store and say you didn't charge me for X it should have been £y. I can pay over the phone, if they want you to go back you are not obliged at your expense to return to store with the goods or cash, it is their problem you are not a thief