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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Nephew being allowed to wake me up

200 replies

MeanAunty · 04/07/2018 10:51

I have a 4 year old nephew who keeps waking me. It's not accidental, but his mum (my sister) doesn't stop him:
It's happened 3 times in the last 7 days including this morning. The first time he was banging at my bedroom door for what must've been 25 minutes (as that was the length of time he'd been upstairs without supervision) screaming my name until I gave in and got up.
All because he "wanted to say good morning" (read as, I wanted you to play with me but you were asleep). This was at 7am. I work late shifts (I didn't even get home till 2;30am) My sister was aware he was awake and upstairs alone but was enjoying her morning coffee in peace.
This morning he was banging on my door for five minutes. I text my sister saying please get Y downstairs he's banging on my door again. She calls him down. Not 2 mins later he's at it again. I give up and get up. Now I'm awake.
Aibu to think you don't allow your child to do this? He does it to my mum too (we all live at her house, I'm moving out next week but my sister is staying until after Xmas, we both have our own circumstances).
I'm not sure if I'm being cruel as he's only four but surely she should supervise him it's akin to him banging on my door at 3am because by 7-8ish (his favourite time to do this) I've only been asleep for a couple hours as I work nights... my mum thinks it's out of order but my sister says "well he's only four".
Am I being the meanest aunt ever or am I justified in feeling really annoyed?

OP posts:
HoomanMoomin · 04/07/2018 10:54

Your mum is right.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/07/2018 10:54

Start banging on your sister's bedroom door when you get in from work and see how she likes it.

TwinkleToes86 · 04/07/2018 10:55

He shouldn't be doing that and you know it.

Just tell your sister that you don't want him doing this anymore. You'll get up when you choose to.

ErictheGuineaPig · 04/07/2018 10:56

She is totally out of order. Of course he doesn't understand not to wake you but she does! She should be ushering him downstairs quietly and keeping him there.

Singlebutmarried · 04/07/2018 10:57

Wake your sister up when you get in from work.

Every day til you move out.

brummiesue · 04/07/2018 10:57

You are moving out next week, I wouldn't cause a masive row if its only for a few more day's

Original poster
MeanAunty · 04/07/2018 10:58

I've tried to tell her but all I get is "well he's only four, what do you want me to do?" To which I responded "keep him downstairs" she then said "ok but if he comes back upstairs what do you expect me to do? I'm not spending hours every day herding him like a sheep..." she really doesn't see the problem. All I can do is try to look forward to moving out and hope my poor Mum finds a way to stop him doing it (or get my sister to.)

OP posts:
Weezol · 04/07/2018 10:58

Start banging on your sister's bedroom door when you get in from work and see how she likes it

Discotits · 04/07/2018 10:58

Yanbu. That’s so rude.

Shoxfordian · 04/07/2018 10:58

You're moving out soon but yes it's annoying

Harrykanesrightsock · 04/07/2018 10:59

Your sister is being an arse. I would also wake her at 3am.

Lweji · 04/07/2018 10:59

Ultimately, you're leaving in a week, so does it really matter?

But, this:
Start banging on your sister's bedroom door when you get in from work and see how she likes it.

Or let her know first that either you get your entire 7-8 hour sleep or none of you gets it.

NotTakenUsername · 04/07/2018 10:59

Yanbu. How inconsiderate. Angry

SandAndSea · 04/07/2018 11:00

Your sister is bu.

Original poster
MeanAunty · 04/07/2018 11:01

I'm not about to cause a row just wondering if I was being u. That's all. I haven't been here long anyway (just an emergency stopgap while I looked for a new rental post breakup.) but another week I can manage. Smile

OP posts:
Lweji · 04/07/2018 11:02

Also, a four year old can be reasoned with to some extent.
Explain to him, in front of your sister, that he should wait until you get out to say good morning. Explain that you are very tired and you need your sleep.
Ask him to do that favour to you, pretty please. And that if he wakes you up you will be very sad.

Cismyass · 04/07/2018 11:02

DD is 4. When Nannie and Grandad stay she is super excited to wake them each morning but she ASKS MY PERMISSION FIRST as i am the parent, ie incharge. Is your sister such a drip shit parent in all areas of her DS's life?

Shumpalumpa · 04/07/2018 11:02

Your sister is a passive aggressive bitch.

Tell DN that if he knocks on your door then you won't play with him at all. And mean it.

If he does knock on your door, and you wake up and want to go downstairs, go down and completely ignore nephew. If he asks why you're ignoring him, tell him because you told him not to wake you up and he didn't listen.

4 is plenty old to understand, you're not evil. It will piss your sis off when you ignore him but this is all her fault.

stoicismlight · 04/07/2018 11:02

Your poor mum.

Your sister is lazy and selfish. He is her child. He’s lucky that he has other relatives around him, but it’s her job to look after him.

If your toddlers are disturbing other people then yes. You have to literally follow them around.

LaContessaDiPlump · 04/07/2018 11:03

Get some amazing headphones and do not open the door under any circumstances. He is not your DS and not your responsibility. I bet she'd kick off if you had a kid whom you let wake her up!!

Birdsgottafly · 04/07/2018 11:03

""Or let her know first that either you get your entire 7-8 hour sleep or none of you gets it.""

Including the OP's Mother? If she won't stop him, then there is little you can do, without it upsetting your Mum.

Have you directly said to the child to go back down stairs because he's being naughty waking you up? He should understand that at four.

You need to have a word with her today, with your Mother there and the child needs to be spoken to as well.

My three year old Grandaughter knows that she is not to wake my youngest DD, when they come to stay.

SheldonSaysSo · 04/07/2018 11:05

The thing is at 4 your sister should be able to tell him not to knock on your door and he should do that (with a few reminders). If needed she should tell him there will be a consequence for doing so - YANBU.

I originally thought you were going to say he was a toddler!

Birdsgottafly · 04/07/2018 11:06

Shumpalumpa, it's cruel to ignore a child. It's a form of punishment that shouldn't be used, when it is the Parents fault.

Abra1de · 04/07/2018 11:06

Tell him yourself. Four is old enough to understand simple instructions. Your sister is ridiculous and lazy.

Thebluedog · 04/07/2018 11:07

Can you speak to your dn directly and ask him not to wake you. My dh is on shift and my dd soon understood not to wake him.

But I’d still wake your sister up at 2.30am every morning

She is bu, of course she should heard him up to stop him waking you