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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Nephew being allowed to wake me up

200 replies

MeanAunty · 04/07/2018 10:51

I have a 4 year old nephew who keeps waking me. It's not accidental, but his mum (my sister) doesn't stop him:
It's happened 3 times in the last 7 days including this morning. The first time he was banging at my bedroom door for what must've been 25 minutes (as that was the length of time he'd been upstairs without supervision) screaming my name until I gave in and got up.
All because he "wanted to say good morning" (read as, I wanted you to play with me but you were asleep). This was at 7am. I work late shifts (I didn't even get home till 2;30am) My sister was aware he was awake and upstairs alone but was enjoying her morning coffee in peace.
This morning he was banging on my door for five minutes. I text my sister saying please get Y downstairs he's banging on my door again. She calls him down. Not 2 mins later he's at it again. I give up and get up. Now I'm awake.
Aibu to think you don't allow your child to do this? He does it to my mum too (we all live at her house, I'm moving out next week but my sister is staying until after Xmas, we both have our own circumstances).
I'm not sure if I'm being cruel as he's only four but surely she should supervise him it's akin to him banging on my door at 3am because by 7-8ish (his favourite time to do this) I've only been asleep for a couple hours as I work nights... my mum thinks it's out of order but my sister says "well he's only four".
Am I being the meanest aunt ever or am I justified in feeling really annoyed?

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 04/07/2018 19:31

Your sister is a lazy cow. At least you’re moving out soon. I would wake her up when you get in from your shift at 2am like someone suggested 😁

OurMiracle1106 · 04/07/2018 19:35

I would say to him sorry DN auntie is tired when he wakes you and even if you do get up keep reinforcing ask mummy to play with you auntie is tired because auntie was at work last night

Gooseygoosey12345 · 04/07/2018 19:37

Genuinely would open the door and say "go away, I'm sleeping and it's rude to wake people up, go downstairs". I'd tell your sister straight that you will be telling him off every time he wakes you up. He's "only 4" now but will he have learned by time he's 12? I'd be fuming if my children did that to my sister

Isawthelight · 04/07/2018 20:34

Next time your sister says "he's only 4", tell her " BUT YOU'RE NOT FUCKING 4, SORT IT OUT"

Soubriquet · 04/07/2018 20:40

Jeez my 3 year old wouldn't dream of doing this because I Parent!

Bang on her door when you get home from work. Everyday

Or get a stair gate fitted on the bottom of the stairs and insist it stays closed whilst you're in bed

Lethaldrizzle · 04/07/2018 20:46

Stick some pics of headless bunnies and kittens on your door so he runs away in horror

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 04/07/2018 20:54

I’s go to a party shop and buy a hideous mask. Then open the door in it to say good morning.

MistressDeeCee · 04/07/2018 21:05

DrinkFeckArseGirls way to go, love it 😂

Problem. Fucking. Solved.

Applesandpears23 · 04/07/2018 21:19

YANBU and she is in trouble if she isn’t able to control her 4 year old. Would bribery work? My 4 year old understands that if she wakes up before her sister and gets up quietly she gets tv time until her sis gets up. Can you offer him something in the afternoon if he doesn’t wake you up?

Thatssomebadhatharry · 04/07/2018 21:37

Id tell him off hes old enough to learn that he is being naughty. My dsis would tell my kids off. Not that I would allow them to do this.

sleep5 · 04/07/2018 21:38

if you're moving out in a week then not much you can do, but a stairgate at the bottom of the stairs seems like an ideal solution to me.

Next time he does it just open the door and shout go away - maybe she'll get the message. If it does it again then wake your sister up at 2:30am!

MissEliza · 04/07/2018 22:41

I like the idea of banging on the door when you get home from work.

TheVanguardSix · 04/07/2018 22:46

Your sister sounds woefully lazy.
Thank goodness you're out of there.
Your poor mum, no respect in her own home.
I wonder if you're the one showing him love and attention he's lacking from his mum and this is his 4 year old way of looking for it. I mean, it's flattering in a way, but it's a terrible habit he's gotten into.

Why isn't he in nursery?

billybagpuss · 05/07/2018 07:12

Please tell us you woke your sister at 2.30 this morning OP.

sugarnotsweetener · 05/07/2018 07:45

My little girl is almost 2 (she’ll be 3 in September) and she understands fully that when daddy is in bed we whisper.
She doesn’t understand that he’s having to get up at silly o clock everyday obviously but she fully understands he’s sleeping and we aren’t going to wake him just yet.

Your sister is lazy and I bet she loves it when you get up because it’s someone to play with your DN and she can be lazier for longer so she’s got a win win after her coffee in peace while he’s waking you up.

I would 100% be waking her up when your night shift finishes, she’s being super selfish and unreasonable.

sugarnotsweetener · 05/07/2018 07:46

*my little girl is 2 (almost 3, her birthday is in September) 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

DevilsDoorbell · 05/07/2018 08:25

I also hope you woke her up to say a cherry good morning when you got in

CornishMaid1 · 05/07/2018 08:34

I think it has been said upthread, and if you are moving out in a week it is probably a bit late, but you need to:

  1. Talk to your DSis and tell her if she does not sort it out that you will be waking her up to say good morning at 2:30 when you get in until she understands.
  1. Get a stairgate to keep DN downstairs (although that will only work if DSis actually co-operates).
  1. Buy an alarm clock or a count down clock that DN can see but can't touch (i.e. change the time). Set if for the time that you will be up and tell DN that he is not allowed to come and say good morning until the alarm goes off. Makes it a little easier to understand timings.
Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 05/07/2018 17:31

I completely agree with you,mama sounds lazy.
But when you say nursery,are you saying he should be in daycare or Pre-K?(an American here so I'm not sure 😊).

flowergrrl77 · 05/07/2018 17:36

If it was longer than a week, I’d be putting a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs...

CantGetDecentNickname · 05/07/2018 17:37

Think DSis is more than lazy - she is his parent; she needs to parent him. You are not his parent and are entitled to be left alone to get a reasonable amount of sleep. She is utterly selfish and just using you. At the moment, it's not happening to her so she can ignore it, so please do wake her up when you get in for several nights in a row so she gets a taste of what you are getting. Grin

OlennasWimple · 05/07/2018 17:41

Put a "Do not disturb" type sign on the door. Tell him that when it is on the door handle (or turned onto the red side, for example), it means that you are very tired and need to carry on sleeping, so he cannot knock on the door or make lots of noise outside it. If it's not on there (or is turned around to the green side) then he's very welcome to come and say good morning to his favourite aunt

JobHunting4 · 05/07/2018 17:46

We work shifts, and my 4yr old knows not to wake us when he goes up to use the toilet, and comes straight back down to the other parent. He isn't a model child by any means, but he gets it. The odd occasion he chances a conversation from the landing, but quickly gets told to go downstairs, and he does.

Your sis is being lazy

sprinklesandsauce · 05/07/2018 18:05

She is being totally lazy. At 4 he is old enough to understand that he shouldn't go upstairs, and she should be correcting him every time that he does.

She just can't be bothered to parent him.

I would definitely wake her up every time you come in at 2.30 am Grin

LushAlice · 05/07/2018 18:15

Show your sister this thread with all the comments on it. She may get the picture then.

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