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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Nephew being allowed to wake me up

200 replies

MeanAunty · 04/07/2018 10:51

I have a 4 year old nephew who keeps waking me. It's not accidental, but his mum (my sister) doesn't stop him:
It's happened 3 times in the last 7 days including this morning. The first time he was banging at my bedroom door for what must've been 25 minutes (as that was the length of time he'd been upstairs without supervision) screaming my name until I gave in and got up.
All because he "wanted to say good morning" (read as, I wanted you to play with me but you were asleep). This was at 7am. I work late shifts (I didn't even get home till 2;30am) My sister was aware he was awake and upstairs alone but was enjoying her morning coffee in peace.
This morning he was banging on my door for five minutes. I text my sister saying please get Y downstairs he's banging on my door again. She calls him down. Not 2 mins later he's at it again. I give up and get up. Now I'm awake.
Aibu to think you don't allow your child to do this? He does it to my mum too (we all live at her house, I'm moving out next week but my sister is staying until after Xmas, we both have our own circumstances).
I'm not sure if I'm being cruel as he's only four but surely she should supervise him it's akin to him banging on my door at 3am because by 7-8ish (his favourite time to do this) I've only been asleep for a couple hours as I work nights... my mum thinks it's out of order but my sister says "well he's only four".
Am I being the meanest aunt ever or am I justified in feeling really annoyed?

OP posts:
flowergrrl77 · 05/07/2018 21:50

@JobHunting4 The pet gates are much taller. Mine never learnt to open them pre-school age, only climb over!

Plsbemyturn · 05/07/2018 22:00

OMG your sister is so selfish and lack of discipline to her own son, I hate the excuse of "he is only four". My 4 year old won't be allowed to wake anyone up apart from me and dh.

LaraLondon1 · 05/07/2018 22:07

Your sister is being lazy . When I have visitors my DD is desperate to go into them in the morning but I just keep telling her no , not until xx time , she keeps asking and it’s annoying but but she will not go near the door . Ur sister doesn’t give u much consideration by the sounds of it .

Ethylred · 05/07/2018 22:15

What you have here is what's known technically as a revolting small boy.
Either he grows out of it or he grows up with the kind of Evil Aunt (think Bertie Wooster's Aunt Agatha, who wore barbed wire next to the skin and bayed at the moon) that he can boast to his friends about.
Win win.

CaparaAlecha · 05/07/2018 22:28

You need to get him a drum kit as a goodbye present when you move out

Biblio78 · 05/07/2018 23:28

okay, you have more of this to endure until you move out as your sister isn't going to do anything. So each time he wakes you, get up and take him back downstairs with a firm stay with mummy, I need to sleep because I work in the nighttime when you are sleeping. Okay sweetie or whatever. Then leg it back upstairs, put ear plugs in and try to get to sleep. If you don't sleep do not get up because he will think that it's okay to wake you up. It's not. You don't have to discuss it with your sister just make it clear to your nephew that you don't wake up until x time whatever it is.

suzy2b · 05/07/2018 23:57

MY granddaughter trys to wake me up after a while it really pisses me off and i shout to her to go away if she doesn't i will get angry if it was my sister she would be getting a mouthfull from me

Cannyapper · 06/07/2018 00:20

Maybe you could stick a moon and/or a sun on your door. Teach the four year old that when the moon is up he can’t knock, but if the sun is up he can! X

Enko · 06/07/2018 00:33

Op when your sister says
"ok but if he comes back upstairs what do you expect me to do? I'm not spending hours every day herding him like a sheep..."

Tell her " I expect you to parent your child and ensure he doesnt disturb me when I sleep. How you go about that is up to you but please ensure he understands not to wake me up. "

lokijet · 06/07/2018 00:39

get a groclock or similar and set a time when he is allowed to wake you 9 or 10 so he can see when its OK and be firm that its not before this as auntie is seeping and will be very grumpy if you wake her as we all need our sleep.

he cant tell the time but is old enough to understand rules

KingLooieCatz · 06/07/2018 09:27

DS would do this on holiday with extended family up until the age of at least 6. One of his parents HAS TO get up at the same time he does and occupy him until everyone else is awake. Usually me, as on the occasions it was DH's turn he didn't get up fast enough and DS would wake his grandparents and cousins, and the cousins then wake their parents and then everyone is grumpy for much of the day.

Maybe your sister wasn't aware that parenting involved some effort.

mumofmunchkin · 06/07/2018 09:31

I have a 4 year old, he can be reasoned with and told he is not to disturb x person in the morning (dh and I do it for each other so that we can have a lie in). Heck, my 2 year old can understand if he's told not to disturb a particular person in the morning, as long as the instruction is given every morning. "He's only 4" is not an excuse.

snewname · 06/07/2018 09:34

You are getting out of this situation but you owe it to your mum to help her out in sorting it, although I suppose she could ultimately get her to move out.

Juells · 06/07/2018 09:44

A baby gate is no good, as the sister would have to close it. I suspect she wouldn't want the kid near her wailing and banging at the gate to get upstairs. Easier to have him making noise upstairs where it doesn't disturb her browsing.

DadJoke · 06/07/2018 09:57

An electrified door offers a quick and salutory solution.

TotHappy · 06/07/2018 10:11

Hahaha!!

TotHappy · 06/07/2018 10:13

@roses2 don't get upset at the harsh comments. I'm sure you are working on it. Good luck!

KingLooieCatz · 06/07/2018 10:44

I reckon some 4 year olds will do as they're told in these circumstances, and some won't. If her's is one that won't, she's going to have to make more of an effort.

Leapfrog44 · 06/07/2018 11:03

oooooh I'd threaten to break his neck!! Trust me, when you see me in a rage after being woken up at 3am his Mum would be out of bed in a shot to take him away. NOT acceptable at all.

No way would I accept that, not for one night!!!!

Silver1022 · 06/07/2018 11:47

When she says well he is only four, your response should be yes he is only four so you should be supervising him as he is your son not mine. It’s selfish of her to expect you to get up just because she can’t be arsed to look after him

jannier · 06/07/2018 15:58

Ethylred Thu 05-Jul-18 22:15:28

"What you have here is what's known technically as a revolting small boy.
Either he grows out of it or he grows up with the kind of Evil Aunt (think Bertie Wooster's Aunt Agatha, who wore barbed wire next to the skin and bayed at the moon) that he can boast to his friends about.
Win win."

What the child has is a lazy assed parent who is dumping him on every one else its not the child's fault the mother cant be bothered.....she is probably sending him up while she watches tv.

Lweji · 06/07/2018 16:51

oooooh I'd threaten to break his neck!!

Even if you didn't mean it, that's no threat to make to a child, FGS.

RenoSusan · 06/07/2018 18:56

Buy him a drum and wake him up when you get home and give it to him with sticks.

TheReluctantFundaFeminist · 06/07/2018 20:59

No amount of reasoning or punishment has worked so far, he does what he wants most of the time

Poor child, no boundaries then? That must be terrifying for him.

Instead of 'reasoning' with him - just try to parent him?

beanaseireann · 22/07/2018 09:58

Did you get sorted MeanAunty or is he still waking you ?

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