For thinking women aren't entitled to watch their daughters give birth?

[LOL7]

Hello,
So this is a bit of a thread. I've just had an 'argument' in the loosest sense of the word on fb with women who are moaning about their daughters 'not letting them be there' for the birth of their grandchildren! Aibu for being totally shocked about this sense of entitlement or 'right' that women should automatically be able to watch their daughter go through labour and birth just because it's their daughters giving birth to their grandchildren?

It would be my worst nightmare having any relative other than DP at a birth. I would have felt awkward and exposed, and it would have felt like they were imposing on a very private special time for me and DP.

Yanbu.

I love my Mum and we have a lovely realtionship but she was the last person I wanted at my births, it was an experience for me and dh nobody else!

Fine if you want your Mum with you but nobody has the right to expect to be at the birth

My mum was at both of my births but that was because I asked her. She was a lot of comfort to me during and after the birth. If I had not asked her though she would not have expected. It is not a right!

I think this is quite common. My DD approached me warily when pregnant and said she hope I didn't mind, but she would rather her DH was with her for the birth of the baby. I laughed and said no way would I want to be there, he got her into it, he could deal with her in labour. Obviously I would have been there if she really wanted me to be, but it genuinely did not occur to me to expect to be there.

I didn't have my DM with me for any of mine either.

Yanbu

I wasnt sure if I even wanted dp at the birth. All depends in how it goes and how you feel etc

Its not sone god given right . Women are so exposed and vulnerable and should not he selfishly posed onto crap they don't want by entitled family

I would have hated my mum at the births of my DC, and equally I have no desire to be at the birth of any children DD may have (unless she wants me there for support).

I imagine that the mum that want to watch their daughters give birth are controlling/helicoptery in other respects as well.

How bizarre! Nobody has the 'right' to be there, not even the father.

I had my MIL with me but that was my choice, she never would have dreamed of suggesting it.

Yes it seems to be assumed that most pregnant women want their Mum there at the birth. People were shocked and asked if my mum was upset at not being there when my DC were born. Like I had mortally offended her. As it happens she didn’t want to be there. She is a midwife herself and didn’t think she would cope well if something had gone wrong because it was her own daughter.

Frankly, I'd rather have not been present at my DC's birth - I certainly would not have wanted spectators!

YADNBU! The only person I want in the delivery room is my partner, no woman should be put under pressure to have anyone there that she doesn’t want.

It seems to me some mothers want to be there more for bragging rights/to see the baby first than genuinely to support their daughters through labour.

YADNBU. My mother is the type who will want to be there for me I am sure. Not sure she would see it has her right exactly, but she would certainly be very convinced that she would be a welcome and helpful presence! Which is why when the time comes I will be letting her know once the baby is external to my body and not a moment sooner I can't imagine anything I would hate more than having her there, personally, and only the decision of the person who has to give birth should matter!

No one has the "right" to be there except the woman in Labour and her midwife/ Doctor.

Seems a bit weird to have your mother there.

My mum asked to come in to watch me give birth and I said no

Yanbu!

I would never want my mother with me during labour, i wouldn't want to see my daughters in labour either.

As a mum I find it completely bizzare . My dd is only 12 so a long way off but both my births were awful and I honestly can't think of anything worse than watching her suffer like I did.

No, it's not a spectator sport. It's up to the woman.

That's bizarre. Apart from the fact that women should be able to choose who they want, I am very surprised that anyone would want to be present. I think that many would find anyone other than partners and midwife present quite inhibiting.

I genuinely couldn't think of anything worse than having anyone other than my partner present when my dd was born, to me it's a very private bonding moment in a family. My mum was fairly put out that I didn't take her up on her offer to come but I stuck to my guns and it was one of those life memories that I will cherish between my partner forever.

OP the women sound entitled. They like everyone else,, including the child's father, have absolutely no right to be at the birth of any of their grandchildren unless invited.

I thought I was right to be a bit shocked at their attitudes. One lady said that she had one of the midwives 'have a go' at the daughter when the daughter changed her mind and asked her Mum to wait in the waiting room until the baby was born I have had a previous section and will be having another with this one so I've only been allowed to have my dh with me anyway, but my mum or my mil wouldn't expect to be there! As if labour wasn't stressful enough, imagine having someone there uninvited who you are too uncomfortable to get rid of!

I'd never ever allow anyone in the room when I was / will be giving birth besides my DH.
It's a joke if they 'expect' it.
Same goes for the father expecting to be able to invite who they want.

I'd actually be surprised if my DS / DIL wanted me there, I'd probably feel really weird about it too but it's up to the person giving birth who is there!

I did hear of a MIL who was upset because she wasn't allowed at the birth of the DC. Especially as the DM was! Tbh, no way would I have wanted to be there whether it was my own DD or the Dil!

My mum said she didn't want the stress of waiting while i was in labour so she didn't want to be told until the baby was born.

So I didn't phone her until DD was born. She was hurt that she hadn't been involved sometimes you just can't win.

I dont think it's weird to have your Mum there. But definitely should not be expected. Totally up to the pregnant woman as to who her support team is.

I chose to have my mum and DP at birth of my first child. She'd had 3 kids so I felt happy knowing that she would have some understanding of what i was going through. I also wanted her there in case DP fell apart or in case he needed the support (he doesnt do well with blood etc). As it turns out he was fine and we felt totally fine just us the 2nd time.

Mum never assumed she would be invited but was thrilled to be asked.