AIbu .. Woman contacting my husband?

[Awfullyconfusedwhat]

Just trying to get your perspective. I've been married 17 years and have two kids.
My husband has taken up cycling and has joined a club. My daughter was on his phone and noticed he has two texts with a woman asking if he was going for the cyclists drink and then another saying.. I'm getting a bike , do you fancy doing my training programme? I've noticed before that she has commented on the clubs posts saying she can't wait to go out for a drink with them to see my husband dancing
He hasn't replied but I texted her back pointing out the fact that my daughter had seen the message ( true) and that it probably wasn't too appropriate to be asking for my husband's services when he had family and commitments.
Some of my friends think I've done the right thing but AIBU? Dreading seeing her at the school playground!

YABVU, extremely inappropriate and totally out of line.

This is between this woman and your husband. He hasn’t done anything wrong; he hasn’t even been given the chance to answer her.

Your behaviour and actions are wholly unacceptable here and you should be ashamed of yourself.

What did your husband say when you discussed it? Did he know you were going to text her? For what it's worth I think she was out of order, but it would have been better if he'd replied to her training request with "sorry I'm too busy with my family" and ignored everything else she sent. Much better than you firing off at her. Surely you trust him enough to fend her off?

How did she even get his number in the first place? He needs to explain that.

Whats app cycle group? for example?

'Fancy meeting for drinks?'

Where does it say that she texted that?

You may be married but you don't own him. I am quite shocked at your reaction and that you replied on his behalf. If it were me, I would not take kindly to being taken over like this. Just imagine, with all that we read about controlling men, if this was a man replying to his woman's texts on her phone!

Are you normally this controlling. In rl most people would have an adult conversation with dh. Vvv strange behaviour op. Yabu and controlling. If roles were reversed mn would say alot worse.

How cringeworthy. Does your dh not mind you speaking for him?

If real op...you have made yourself look vvv silly. Your poor dh.

Ridiculously controlling of you op.

I would be furious if a partner or anyone for that matter felt they had the right to reply to my personal messages.

If you don't trust him that much, to the point of getting incredibly territorial over a few mundane, harmless messages (in which he hadn't started the conversation nor replied) then I would be rethinking your relationship.

What the hell?!?!

You've humiliated your husband who you're meant to love?!?!?!

You have proven yourself to be controlling, possessive, insecure and a bit batshit tbh

She may we’ll have been overfamiliar (its hard to tell) but unfortunately you have come out of this badly. It would have been better to sit back and let your DH deal with it

Did an A/S as I suspected op might be a journo. She's not.
Op you're in a very unhealthy relationship and have been for years. Are either of you actually happy?

Oh dear!

If you have spoke to your husband about it and he gave you the go ahead then pair play to you !
Don't worry about the play ground at the end of the day if you have upset her by texting her then your response is you felt same way too!
If she doesn't talk to you the bounce she got defo got the message to keep her greasy mits off your DH 😉

• fair play
• bonus that was meant to say lol 😂

Yabu. If my dh did that I would be raging. If she's up to something your dh is big enough to sort it himself surely.

You've totally overreacted and made a complete fool of yourself.

I think YABU.

I don’t see what was wrong in her messages? She was hardly messaging naked photos of herself. She was being friendly.

I have friends who are men / women who are in relationships / married and I text them about meeting up and mutual hobbies. I would be absolutely mortified if I got a response like that from someone’s partner and my texts had been taken the wrong way! Maybe I’m the weird one here but I don’t see that you can’t have a friendship with someone because they are married / in a relationship ?

Assuming this is a purely innocent situation (which by the sounds of it she is messaging about a mutual hobby) I think you should apologise to her for overreacting....

Sorry but that's pathetic, whylie, the only person who can tell anybody to 'keep their mitts off' is the person 'at risk' from having mitts placed on them. OP will have come across as controlling and clingy - and she cannot stop anybody - only her husband can do that.

This reminds me of a theme in that boring TV series, Last of the summer wine where two characters have a shared interest in cycling but only in support of their illicit liaisons.

I would be asking myself why I was so insecure.

Then I would be asking your DD why she feels that it's ok to go through her fathers texts?

Oh gosh OP, you've well and truly embarrassed yourself here. I am cringing for you. You have issues whether your DH 'permitted' you sending that text or not.

😮 very unreasonable

I would have done the same OP. And don't worry about her at the school gate . She's not a nice person.

You actually sound a little crazy Op

God, you sound a controlling nightmare. I went on a school reunion last night, got chatting to an old male friend who’s marriage is on the rocks. I sent him some supportive messages today and he responded a few times to say how grateful he was and to share a few bits of banter. If my husband had done what you did I’d have gone in a rage!