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...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?
642

Legbreak · 21/06/2018 21:57

She definitely doesn’t see and it makes me feel better and is always at home, not out and about etc. My DSis thinks it’s appalling.

OP's posts:
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TheGreatCornholio · 22/06/2018 01:56

I think if this is the absolute worst thing to ever happen to a child, they're doing pretty well.

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MuckyMare · 22/06/2018 02:02

I did this the other day. My 9 year old was having a complete strop and I held it together. Kept my Mary Poppins demeanour up and as soon as she walked out the room I gave her the middle finger Grin

TBH I grew up with a shouty and violent mum so in my opinion a finger gesture behind a kids back is nothing. They don't know and it helps relieve tension

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Monty27 · 22/06/2018 02:05

I thought I was bad for doing it to my cats when they are yowling at the back garden kitchen door.
At least I do it to their faces though!
It is kind of funny op Grin

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Italiangreyhound · 22/06/2018 02:06

I think if you genuinely want to know, it's quite sad and shows a lack of respect for your child. Yes, kids can be very annoying and frustrating. But I can't see what you gain from this and so I'm with your sister on this.

And yes, I have been rude, unpleasant and disrespectful to both my kids on lots of occasions.

I am not proud of it and I am all out of pearls to clutch.

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Jozxyqk · 22/06/2018 02:15

I wouldn't flip anyone the finger, personally. I'm not sweary in RL, apparently l didn't even swear in labour. I sometimes stick my tongue out at DD behind her back if she's being especially beastly, & I did once do when DD was being especially horrid in a shop. Strangely, she has never tantrummed again in public... clearly she is afraid I'll shame her. I would, too.

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GoldenMcOldie · 22/06/2018 02:15

I scream at the top of my lungs. fuck shit counting bollocks AFTER my teenage DS gets out of the car.

Getting him out of the house is one of the most stressful things I have ever endured. He knows that there are five of us that need to go five different ways. When he strolls out to car five minutes late and I have missed my express train.....

He never heards me but I feel heaps better.
OP yadnbu.

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IfOnlyIKnewThen · 22/06/2018 06:29

Thanks so much for this post. Laughed so much and now I'm running late, but it's so worth it though.

Until now had only been swearing under my breath through gritted teeth (when kids not in earshot), but it seems that giving the little darlings the ones and twos behind their backs is a better form of stress relief. No doubt I'll find out in about 30 minutes.

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speakout · 22/06/2018 06:34

No never done it, not to my teens either.

Makes me uncomfortable, not sure why.

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badgirlswotcheragunnado · 22/06/2018 06:36

I think it's unkind and immature, tbh.

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cindersrella · 22/06/2018 06:45

I do it often? Especially when my beautiful 8 year old turns into a stroppy teenager 😂

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Oysterbabe · 22/06/2018 06:50

A lot of people talking about teens but the OP is about a toddler. It just seems quite sad to do that to a tiny child who's just trying to learn about appropriate behaviour and managing their feelings. Someone mentioned they're driven to swearing by a toddler changing their mind about toast?! Completely standard toddler behaviour, there must be a lot of secret swearing in that house.

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speakout · 22/06/2018 06:51

Oysterbabe I completely agree.

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NotClear · 22/06/2018 07:01

The problem I have with this, OP, is that people who agree with you are talking about their teenagers, not toddlers.

If you secretly give someone the finger, it's not because you're feeling loving towards them is it? Think about why you feel the need to do it. Surely it's because you're angry and resentful? Believe me, that will be coming across in more ways than you realise.

Toddlers can be so taxing, I get that. But rather than run around giving them the finger behind their back, you need to find ways to reduce and deal with your stress better than that.

Ask yourself: would you do that openly in a public place or to your work colleagues, if not, why not?

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KathyBeale · 22/06/2018 07:04

I do this but I favour the Friends-style double fist instead.

Notclear, I have done it loads at work. Stopped when I did it to a particularly rude colleague as she waited for the lift - just as the doors opened revealing the mirrored back of the lift. Ooooops.

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ConciseandNice · 22/06/2018 07:08

I do it. Probably 50ish times a day to my 3. My two adult kids got it when they were younger and it caused them no harm. I think the sonic waves created by the finger are generally harmless.

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tiredmummy1991 · 22/06/2018 07:09

I tell my dc that I will sell them for £1 if they carry on being naughty, I've been given some funny looks and also people offering to buy them Blush

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Roomba · 22/06/2018 07:10

Glad it's not just me who mutters 'FFS' when I hear 'Muuuuuuuuummmmmmmm?' for the hundredth time within five minutes! I do try to smile sweetly when I ask them what they need.

As for those silently mouthing 'fuck off' at their teenagers, I accidently just said it out loud to mine during an argument a few weeks ago Blush. Actually it made DS burst out laughing, the mood was lightened and we then sat down and talked things through more rationally. Not planning on using it as a regular deescalation technique though!

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toomuchtooold · 22/06/2018 07:17

You need this comic strip in your life.

I think I healthy to acknowledge the fact that small kids can be really really frustrating.

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HoppingPavlova · 22/06/2018 07:18

Meh, I do it to my teenagers, giving the finger with both hands whilst also mouthing ‘Fuck You’ behind their back at times when they break me. They haven’t caught me yet! Makes me feel better .....

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ConciseandNice · 22/06/2018 07:21

I have been whispering ‘fuckinell’ for decades now. It’s my most used word. Once or twice I have said it loudly while waving my arms to heaven in a ‘why God why???’ Way. My kids are much loved and know it. They also know I am human and that it’s not right to be unfair and mean to the person who loves you the most (it takes until mid 20s to realise this to be fair.)

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HoppingPavlova · 22/06/2018 07:21

Actually, I guess the take home message is that you progress from one hand to both hands as they progress from toddlers to teens and the language you mouth deteriorates accordingly. Again, meh.

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GerrysSuccessor · 22/06/2018 07:25

Nope, I’m definitely doing it to my toddler, and my 5 year old.

I would also do it to a work colleague, and anyone else I felt like doing it to, if no one could see. And that’s the point, no one can see!!!

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Cath2907 · 22/06/2018 07:26

I threaten to lock mine the shed or beat her with a big stick. She is 100% confident that it is a joke but just the act of threatening something foolish makes me feel better! I threaten the dog with the canning factory 😀

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OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 22/06/2018 07:27

I may have done this, or variations to my four. and my Dh, my dcat and maybe year seven science . My DC are now all huge twenty somethings and amazingly unscarred by something they never saw. My Dh usually gets the secret finger as he walks away. My DC think now this is hysterical.(never knowing they have all had it too)

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Slartybartfast · 22/06/2018 07:27

horrible and mean, are you for real? in which case you are unkind

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