...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?

642

no

Interesting comparison.

Is swearing comparable to breaking our wedding vows (and probably putting me and the LO at risk for STDS) in your opinion?

Maria, surely you can see that's not the point. Just because it's behind somebody's back does not mean it's OK. To many that's worse because you're being deceitful.

You would never use that line about any other wrong done to YOU so why is OK to take this attitude to a vulnerable person for whom you have responsibility, and supposedly, love and care.

I see what point you're trying to make, yes.

But you're unfortunately comparing two different things ("apples and oranges").

That's like asking whether I'd be ok with my husband murdering kittens behind my back (seeing as I wouldn't be too bothered by him mentally or silently swearing behient my back every once in a while.)

You would never use that line about any other wrong done to YOU

I would use that line if we were talking about someone swearing behind my back.

Quite honestly, I wouldn’t care about someone swearing behind my back. ESP not in the pretty good humoured way we are talking about here.

But we’re back to nuance again, and we’ve established that you’re not a fan, no.

I suspect some of you have so dug yourselves into the argument that you're unwilling to admit you'd be pretty upset if you turned round to find your husband or your mother giving you the finger to make himself feel better.

Most people would be upset by this.

no

I wouldn’t. Because we aren’t talking about an act of extreme aggression. In fact, I’m pretty sure my sister, or my bff have done exactly that.

You are failing to understand what is being communicated- it’s a good humoured eye rolling kind of thing. But you’re completely entrenched in your black af white position. That’s ok though. You’re entitled to your view, your perspective.

If it was done with humour, it wouldn’t bother me from someone who loves me.

We’re all different.

No, I wouldn't.

Confession: have a 3 month old and when she cries while I'm changing her I say in the most soothing loving baby-ish tone of voice "if you think there's no orphanage out there who won't take You, you're wrong! Yes, you are!" My voice calms her down enough to stop crying (sometimes she even laughs at me) and she doesn't know what I'm actually saying (I hope)

So if you were at a party and turned around to see your OH giving you the middle finger behind your back while some of other guests were seeing the "funny" side that would be fine?

If you think that is OK then you have some serious self esteem issues.

Because many of the guests would be cringing in their shoes wondering why you put up with such abuse.

I thought the point of the action was that it was done in private to relieve frustration, rather than to humiliate or get a laugh in public.

nostaples I am not naive enough to think that no one has stuck their finger up at my behind my back

I’m sure it’s happened on quite a few occasions

It’s not something I dwell on as I know at times I may annoy others

I meant at me

Not at my behind

It is Shockers

But apparently comparable to having an affair you know becuase it’s done behind someone’s back

Happy Kappa?!

Thrilled

I often roll my eyes and mutter "ffs" and my dc aren't even toddlers!

Just be careful if they have a sibling and they catch you doing it! Which may happen. If you do it. Which I don't!!

Why would I do it with 2 fucking know it all teenagers in the house ;)