...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?

[Legbreak]

She definitely doesn’t see and it makes me feel better and is always at home, not out and about etc. My DSis thinks it’s appalling.

I've done this on occasion. I'm sure she'll do it back to me as a teenager.

I do this ALL THE TIME. And I advise my mum friends who are having bad days to do it as well. It’s completely harmless, and as far as I’m concerned it’s preventing me actually doing it to their faces... I also have been known to mutter ‘well FUCK YOU then’ under my breath, particularly those times when your toddler says they want toast so you give them toast then they don’t want toast. Again, stops me saying it out loud. I do wonder about all these perfect people who never feel frustrated with their children. Or who do feel frustrated but never let any of that frustration get released in any way. I’m pretty sure one day they’ll explode over spaghetti bolognese “but I wanted my sauce on the siiiiiiide”

@Wolfiefan That's brilliant! I can just picture it.

Actually, I could t do this to my DC.

I may have told DH that teenage DS was being a dickhead. DH may have agreed.

To help the picture. The comedy face included tongue out and poking to one side. (I don't know why!) the kick was always towards the left in an angle and his arms remained in the "drop the child" zombie pose!

I used to sing 'shut the fuck up' to the tune of 'rock abye baby' to my two when they'd woken me for the billionth time when they were babies. I found adding 'I want to sleep' to 'shut the fuck up' worked well with the tune. Both of mine arrived with the sleep button switched off and it took almost two years to locate it for each of them so I was so tired I could barely stand. The occasional melodic profanity was a welcome stress relief.

My auntie was a perfect parent who was sickly sweet, never swore and was like Mary poppins with her kids. Until she had the great breakdown of 03 when she stood up at the table after we were all being a little loud and boisterous, told us all to go fuck ourselves and we were all horrible little cunts

It was hilarious. It hasn’t effected us at all. It was nice to actually see her as a human being.

I remember sticking my fingers up at my mum behind her back as a teenager so I'm pretty certain it goes full circle.

I do it to my teens- they deserve it because they are being wankers- they never see and it stops me calling them wankers to their faces.

I spent my entire teenage years giving my mum the finger behind her back, so in retrospect I'd be very disappointed if she didn't do the same

Of course I've never done it to my own children as they are perfect. Well almost. Apart from when they are not. The little bastards

The middle finger is how DH and I communicate when we are wearing headphones. I like to spin round in my computer chair and do it and spin back really quickly. I also do it to the cat when she bites me.

Is DSIS sensitive to swearing etc.

I'm not surprised at letting off steam, more surprised you did it to DD or discussed it with another adult irl rather than an anonymous forum.

@ProperLavs

I do it to my teens- they deserve it because they are being wankers

Most bizarre - teens are not known for being annoying wankers at all

Not to toddler, but definitely to DH

And to those saying ‘you wouldn’t like it if it was done to you’- you’re wrong. I work with teenagers (usually pissing them off) and I spend a lot of time telling them that once they’re out of earshot, if I’ve pissed them off, they can call me whatever name they want. Doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is not having enough respect to hide from me that you think I’m a dick. I respect and love my own children enough to hide from them that I think they’re being twats

I think I’ve found my kindred spirits here.

Dh and I quite frequently 🖕🏼 at each other, in s flirty fashion. However, I have muttered ffs under my breath many times wrt dds.

I do this to my kids and my ‘D’H at the time. It relieves my stress somewhat and and they’re generally none the wiser. No harm done at all.

@ YummySushi, Chocolatecoffeeaddict, & pinkbobbles

Clutch, Clutch, Clutch together.

Wake up we would mutter FOTB to each other as parents. Fuck off to bed! If it got bad FOTBN (now!)
I struggle not to say FFS to the teen. Don't actually always succeed.

Wolfi Sometimes humour defuses a situation.

Absolutely agree. DH and I have been through some really tough times and sharing a sense of humour about it all is the way we've stayed sane and together!

We both adore DS, he completed our little family. But he was hard work from day dot with all manner of problems. Hyperactivity and frequent explosive tantrums being just a couple.

He's 5 and learning to better control his behaviour, but Christ on a bike he's got some lip on him! He just can't help himself sometimes. I choose not to retaliate as it only worsens the behaviour. So I just send him to his room for some thinking time and 'release' with some expletives to myself, or with DH, while DS can't see or hear. We have a little laugh about it, calm down and then tackle it in a more adult mature manner to DS!

DS is also starting to display a wicked sense of humour and I've no doubt he'll find it hilarious when he's older.

Im still heavy -sighing and 'for goodness saking' at my 2 yo.

I imagine the secret finger will make an appearance at some point. Possibly soon, if he keeps waking me up at five am, smacking me over the head asking for 'sharks mummy, SHARKS SHARKS SHAAAAAAARKS'

I'm always doing it to my dh and middle finger too when he annoys me. He doesn't see but I feel a whole lot better

Good on him. Love a wicked sense of humour.
What's worse? A parent driven to the edge and shouting at a child or otherwise verbally lashing out? Or an adult expressing their frustration in private and then dealing with an issue in a calm manner in front of the child?
We are allowed to find our kids fucking hard work at times. We are allowed to admit that we love them to bits but sometimes. Just sometimes. They drive us to the bloody edge. The trick is to manage those frustrations.

I dunno about your toddler but I love giving the finger to the prim little smuglings on here