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...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?
642

Legbreak · 21/06/2018 21:57

She definitely doesn’t see and it makes me feel better and is always at home, not out and about etc. My DSis thinks it’s appalling.

OP's posts:
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GunpowderGelatine · 27/06/2018 22:37

Shows what kind of person you are. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised— if you think swearing at toddlers is acceptable, anything goes

Oh stop making things up. When did I say I bitched about people? Or that swearing at toddler sis acceptable? It's so fucking (gasp) annoying when posters do that - literally lie about what has been said on the thread 🙄

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EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 27/06/2018 22:40

I find swearing insults in other languages interesting

It often far more descriptive one I have heard is you smell and have sex like a pig Confused

Now I know this is down to my superior intelligence something I have always suspected Grin

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UserX · 27/06/2018 22:41

I specifically said it isn't ok to bitch

If it isn’t ok, then the analogy doesn’t work.

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UserX · 27/06/2018 22:44

Or that swearing at toddler sis acceptable?

What on earth are you arguing for then? Maybe you didn’t notice but this thread is about swearing at toddlers. It says so in the thread title.

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SmileEachDay · 27/06/2018 22:44

Enthusiam

Greek is a rich source of sweary insults - there’s a generic “Makala” which kinda means “wanker” but it can be combined in lots of different ways, one of which translates as “how many kilos of asshole are you” 😂😂😂

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GunpowderGelatine · 27/06/2018 22:44

Erm I'll think you'll find it does, user. But you go ahead and change the narrative to suit you, because you don't want to face the fact that actually doing a small gesture behind someone's back that neither they nor anyone else will ever know about, has zero affect on them

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SmileEachDay · 27/06/2018 22:45

*malaka - apologies, I’m accurate in my swearing, if nothing else.

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GunpowderGelatine · 27/06/2018 22:45

UserX- I've already said many times
no one is s earring at toddlers.

I'm beginning to think you're a troll. No one is this lacking in comprehension

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GunpowderGelatine · 27/06/2018 22:46

*swearing

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UserX · 27/06/2018 22:49

I'm beginning to think you're a troll. No one is this lacking in comprehension

😂😂🤣🤣😂

You’re calling troll because I don’t think it’s ok to swear at toddlers. I think this thread has jumped the shark.

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EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 27/06/2018 22:51

Grin

English swearing insults are are dull in comparison though Shakespeare wrote a few good insults

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SmileEachDay · 27/06/2018 22:53



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GunpowderGelatine · 27/06/2018 22:56

You’re calling troll because I don’t think it’s ok to swear at toddlers. I think this thread has jumped the shark.

Oh the joyful irony of this statement. As I actually stated, I suspect you're a troll because of your lack of reading comprehension - that is, your strange premise of reading something quite clear and saying "I read at as something entirely different actually". Like you have just done 😂

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nostaples · 27/06/2018 23:15

Gunpowder, you're not actually making any sense.

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Believeitornot · 28/06/2018 08:24

I always thought his was universally understood about the nature of swearing but I have found that some people ALWAYS think the sentiment is offensive

Well. If sticking a finger up isn’t always offensive, then why is it necessary to do it when the toddlers back is turned....

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Believeitornot · 28/06/2018 08:26

Giving someone the finger, be it toddler, husband or pet cat is swearing “at” somebody/pet. It’s not just a general waving of a digit.

We don’t give the finger with no one to direct it at. The finger is directed at someone/thing.

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GunpowderGelatine · 28/06/2018 08:52

Well. If sticking a finger up isn’t always offensive, then why is it necessary to do it when the toddlers back is turned....

Probably the same reason the vast majority of parents don't swear in front of small children - so they don't repeat it and use it inappropriately or in an embarrassing way.

This is really not rocket science folks

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GunpowderGelatine · 28/06/2018 08:55

Giving someone the finger, be it toddler, husband or pet cat is swearing “at” somebody/pet. It’s not just a general waving of a digit.

So we can't swear at pets now? Even if they're little shits? Wink

I don't have a pet to swear at but there's a great thread on here somewhere, possibly in classics, about a woman who (lightheartedly) called her cat a bastard and got told off by a member of the public. I think most people agreed that the cat doesn't understand English

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Believeitornot · 28/06/2018 16:19

Probably the same reason the vast majority of parents don't swear in front of small children - so they don't repeat it and use it inappropriately or in an embarrassing way.

This is really not rocket science folks


yes it isn’t. Because it is offensive.... right...? Wink

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nostaples · 28/06/2018 17:45

'I always thought his was universally understood about the nature of swearing but I have found that some people ALWAYS think the sentiment is offensive and insulting, they can't read the context whatsoever. I have very little time for people this stupid.'

Again, very revealing. You write people off who don't share your views as stupid without realizing that it is YOU who is in the minority with views which are out of kilter.

In fact, it is breaking social convention to swear at all (swearing by definition is offensive) so it is YOU who is going against social norms.

Now, people might say the same about public nose-picking or dropping litter - well, it's not socially accepted to do it but I'm going to do it anyway and if anyone challenges me then they're stupid - but you'll find that isn't going to be very popular either.

Even the OP who admits to swearing at her toddler (yes, she does gunpowder however much you very strangely try to deny it even though it IS actually the OP and the reason for the thread), understands that this is not socially acceptable which is why she wouldn't do it in public.

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nostaples · 28/06/2018 17:55

'actually doing a small gesture behind someone's back that neither they nor anyone else will ever know about, has zero affect on them'

That's an amoral position. Imagine if everybody went around behaving badly just because it was done behind people's backs.

You have avoided the question about having an affair etc again and again. Just because the person you are deceiving or being rude to doesn't know you are doing it doesn't make it any less wrong.

My own moral code is that there is right and there is wrong - not I am in the right as I'm not caught doing wrong.

And you also continue to miss the point that there is nothing to stop the child turning around and seeing the offensive gesture. What then?

And to those who say well it's OK to swear if it's FUN, we are talking about children. Do you really want children to pick up that message? That swearing is funny? Because surely you can see how that will hurt others and get them into trouble.

And also, I and probably the majority of parents struggle to see how you would even think about swearing at your toddler. I can see how you might want to swear in frustration because of them but swearing AT them is not adult behaviour. It is nasty, childish and inappropriate.

Toddlers cannot help being irrational and having tantrums. They cannot articulate their feelings.

Adults do not have this excuse AND they should be setting an example, modelling for children how to deal with difficult emotions.

The children who struggle with behaviour as they get older are the ones that haven't had this modelled for them.

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nostaples · 28/06/2018 18:00

Gunpowder, just so you know, when confronted with people who have different values, other people are sensitive and respectful to those values rather calling them stupid because they don't share yours. While I am not a Muslim, I would not think Muslims stupid because they don't eat pig.

But this is about your assumption that people who don't share your values (or lack of them since you don't find swearing offensive and don't think it is wrong to swear at toddlers) - that it is them who is wrong for having what I see as higher standards than yours.

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YummySushi · 29/06/2018 02:09

nostaples Im with you there sis.. don’t have much to add, you hit the nail on the head.

I don’t mean this in any bad way, but I’m starting to understand how bullying in schools start.... and I’m starting to be less surprised at how common bullying is becoming.

Again I don’t mean to undermine any parent here... u all sound loving and caring. But parenting is more than that, it’s a project of how to grow humans who will make this world a better place. As far as the project is concerned, there is some ifs and buts to what’s becoming the “norm” here on mumsnet.

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QueenPeeBeePee · 29/06/2018 10:15

In fact, it is breaking social convention to swear at all (swearing by definition is offensive) so it is YOU who is going against social norms.

Tosh

What is swearing? Damn, Blast, Bloody?? They're used in adverts on the BBC now, so obviously not going against social norms.

Mumsnetters love to throw "Cunt" into everything, it's their favourite word! It's becoming cheapened, 20 years ago it was the worst insult & rarely heard. Now middle aged mums bat it around with gay abandon...

At least one person on here has "Fucker" in their username - most forums would deem that as unacceptable.

Ref the gestures -

2 fingers - comedy swearing
1 finger - "proper" swearing

I think you need to get a sense of proportion, flicking the "V's" behind a toddlers back will not scar them for life - because (and you seem to be ignoring this) they don't know it's happening.....

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QueenPeeBeePee · 29/06/2018 10:18

My own moral code is that there is right and there is wrong - not I am in the right as I'm not caught doing wrong.

You've obviously got far too much time to think about crap like this.

Maybe try being a little spontaneous & even (gasp) fun??

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