How bad is this?

[Looneytune253]

My daughter (13) just told me that one of the boys in her class told her she shouldn’t take her jumper off in the hot classroom because he could see her bra and it was distracting? Why do boys think this kind of comment is ok and that girls should cover up so they can control themselves or is this boy just a pervert? Is this common. AIBU to make a big complaint to the school or is it relatively minor?

It's not right but kids not a pervert, just incredibly uneducated - problem with out society that it's he woman's fault.

I think I would raise it with the school. We def need more of a focus on males respecting females in schools and being answerable for their own actions

Fgs. He is a normal teenage boy. You would be regarded as silly to complain

The OP really wouldn't.

A quick chat from the teacher about boundaries would nip it in the bud. If a boy is distracted by the site of a bra strap through a shirt that's his problem.

So how should this young man 'discover' that he's being a twat if the advice is not to report his behaviour? Wait until he says it to someones girlfriend/wife when he's older and gets a battering?

Or give him some credit as a human maybe

If this was some attempt at flirting then it's not had the effect he was hoping for, to endear him to her. Maybe even a more mature friend might have a word in his ear? Kids mostly work things out for themselves! Didn't you?

You're applying a jaded adult view to childish behaviour imo

Absolutely complain. I also agree with Floeer's posts.

Fenwick

Not a bloody clue what you're on about, have this

I wouldnt complain i would teach your daughter to grow thicker skin

Really? I would be telling my daughter she doesn't have to change a thing about the way that she is, and it's not her problem if this little weasel can't control himself.

You have never seen teenage girls ruthlessly abusing poor guys for their appearance, and the "loosers" being close to tears because of wrong body hair, lack of muscles, glasses, or voice changing

No, I haven't, as it goes. It was almost always boys doing name calling and teasing in my school, and the ones carrying out the sexual assaults.

And the word is loser, by the way.

Sexual harrassment isn't a crime in itself, but it can be a crime if the behaviour is threatening. Sexual assault is pretty much any sexual touching. Just to clarify, for the socially challenged among us who appear to find these distinctions difficult.

In the movie Deadpool one character called Colossus is fighting a female character called Angel Dust. At one stage during the fight Angels breast is exposed. Colossus cannot continue fighting as he is embarrassed and distracted by the exposed breast.

This was played for comedic effect but I didnt realise it was, as in the case of this school boy, sexual harassment......

easyandy101

Okie dokey lets leave him to make his comments to whomever he pleases and 'work things out for himself'. Wouldn't you tell your son that this was wrong if he'd made this comment? Or would you just wait until the universe enlightens him?

ikeepaforkinmypurse A fundamentalist of all creed will very likely not be a terrorist, but will be a cunt to women always. Better to tell them early to butt out before they start bible-Quran-Talmud thumping and shame women in the public life.

I know girls can be like this too but that's not the answer and I teach my girl not to make belittling comments about people's appearance as well.

Stop making women and girls seem weak that they cant defend themselves with words.

If you read my post I think that women and girls need to defend themselves with words AS WELL as us all working to stop society encouraging boys to see women like this.

@FuckLush I realise why the media/society are calling it that. And too right I'm moaning. Not about them trying to combat it, of course not! I'm trying to point out that it's not a huge hop skip and jump from sexist comment to sexist action.

Bettyfood patronising much?
You might not have noticed bulling by girls, maybe you were part of it, maybe you were completely obtuse to it, so it means it doesn't exist? wow.
It's scary that some posters might have daughters and are raising them to see sexual harassment and abuse everywhere. The problem is that it makes us women look ridiculous, and no one take us seriously, even when confronted with genuine harassment. It's embarrassing.

Thank you for correcting my English, that's terribly useful.

This has gone mad?!! Pervert? Weasel? Control himself? Christ almighty

I'll say it again for the hard of thinking on this thread:

Male people DO NOT get to tell female people what to do. Not even in a jokey/flirty/banter way. Male people DO NOT have the right to COMMENT on womens appearance with any authority. Fucking hell, the Manic Street Preachers were right.

Fgs

Teenage boys all over the prod will be distracted by an exposed bra strap. Fact. Nothing perverted about it whatsoever.

This boy has been surprisingly open about that fact.

He sounds like an arrogant big mouth tbh.

I wouldn’t say anything because it won’t have the slightest impact on him, other than to maybe trim his attentions more closely on your daughter. Instead i would focus on talking with my daughter how best she responds to situations like this.

This is batshit crazy. What a skewed view some of you have. I imagine beyond the parameters of this forum, other people are more measured.

I'm trying to point out that it's not a huge hop skip and jump from sexist comment to sexist action

Is it?

Lil

Our of curiously, do women have the right to comment on other women’s appearance?

As some males do have the right to tell a woman what to do. A boss? A policeman?

I would be telling my daughter to embarrass him back. Very loudly.

And then if he complains, she can say "witty banter", right?

You might not have noticed bulling by girls, maybe you were part of it, maybe you were completely obtuse to it, so it means it doesn't exist? wow.

Of course it exists. If you had read my post correctly, I said "almost all".

Your post is typical of the minimising sort of comments you get on any of these type of threads. BUT WOMEN/GIRLS DO IT TOO.

Oh well, that makes it all right then.

There is a massive problem with male (sexual) violence and crime in the world but hey, let's focus on the fact that women very occasionally exhibit criminal behaviour.

Male people DO NOT have the right to COMMENT on womens appearance with any authority.

and this is why we have to tell our sons to never ever compliment a woman about her appearance, ever, never touch a woman even to help her out if she falls, never even look at them.

Some posters will not be happy until all men are wearing a burqa and not allowed to raise their eyes. It's quite frightening that someone can believe that any gender should be abuse by the other.

The term hysterical does come to mind on here.

There is a massive problem with male (sexual) violence and crime in the world
there might be, but coming up with accusation of pervert and others on such a petty incident doesn't help. You are being ridiculous and you know it.
It is very possible to reprimand a young teen for being rude or inappropriate without creating such a dramatic scene.

and this is why we have to tell our sons to never ever compliment a woman about her appearance, ever, never touch a woman even to help her out if she falls, never even look at them

Yes absolutely. That is just what people are saying

Some posters will not be happy until all men are wearing a burqa and not allowed to raise their eyes. It's quite frightening that someone can believe that any gender should be abuse by the other

Um....

The term hysterical does come to mind on here

There's a surprise, MRA using misogynistic language to try and shut down anyone who might have an issue