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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to DPs lift request

321 replies

PatrickMelroseFan · 07/06/2018 08:58

DP asked if I’d give him a lift in a couple of weeks time when he is planning on meeting his sister for lunch (she lives abroad).

It’s an hours drive (each way) & in a village location so basically I would be a chauffeur so he can get pissed. But ‘ I could do something for a couple of hours ‘ - like what ?

So I’ve politely declined his request & he’s pissed off

OP posts:
Daddystepdaddy · 07/06/2018 08:59

Why are you not meeting her together. How longstanding is your relationship?

AmazingGrace16 · 07/06/2018 08:59

YABU

Bubba1234 · 07/06/2018 08:59

He can surely make his own way there

ApolloandDaphne · 07/06/2018 09:00

Why can't you go for lunch too?

If there is a reason he wants to meet her alone then you ANBU to refuse to drive him there. Can't he get public transport or meet somewhere easier to get to?

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 07/06/2018 09:02

Is there a decent public transport alternative? If not I probably would give my DP a lift under the circumstances if it's a rare occasion but I think it's very weird that you aren't joining them for lunch. How come you're not invited?

fuzzywuzzy · 07/06/2018 09:02

So he can drive has a car but wants you to chauffeur him so he can get drunk?

I’d say nopeas well.

KittyVonCatsworth · 07/06/2018 09:02

I would do it if it’s a one-off.

Original poster
PatrickMelroseFan · 07/06/2018 09:03

I assume he just wants to have lunch with her on his own. I’m fine with that I just don’t want to sit in the car for a few hours whilst they get pissed

OP posts:
Slapbetcommissioner · 07/06/2018 09:03

In these circumstances I wouldn't give him a lift so YANBU.

SilverySurfer · 07/06/2018 09:03

If you don't do things for each other then I guess say no but it's hardly an enormous effort, just for a few hours is it?

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 07/06/2018 09:05

Yeah, in that case YANBU. It would be one thing to invite you to lunch but ask you to drive so that he can drink with his sister but to exclude you from the invitation and still ask for a lift is quite rude imo.

Usernameunknown2 · 07/06/2018 09:05

Why arent you meeting her too? No way, not for a piss up lunch.

NoSquirrels · 07/06/2018 09:06

Errr ... I wouldn’t do this!

They can meet somewhere more mutually convenient, he can drive himself, he can get himself there and you can pick him up when he’s done (if you were really willing), he can invite you to lunch too.

Many options that don’t involve you being a chauffeur!

IsAnyoneElseMissingCheese · 07/06/2018 09:06

Yanbu, sure if you were invited you could drive and give him the opportunity for a drink with his sister but I wouldn't be happy to spend time in a place alone that I had no interest in when I could be doing literally anything else useful or entertaining to me. No thanks!

Usernameunknown2 · 07/06/2018 09:07

Crossposted. I would ask him when he moans again 'are you asking me to join you for lunch?' If he says no i would tell him he is a cheeky fuck.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 07/06/2018 09:08

You are assuming. Have you asked if you can join them for lunch?

As a one off I would Totally do it. He would do it for me!

Original poster
PatrickMelroseFan · 07/06/2018 09:13

I know I’m not invited, they only see each other a couple of times a year so enjoy a catch up.

I know where they’ll meet & it’s very rural so it would literally be sitting in the car like Billy no mates.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 07/06/2018 09:19

I think if its a one off, I'd do it. He'd probably do the same for you.

There must be another pub in the village, you could have a lovely walk or bring a book and just have some time out.. and he'd be grateful. or could you suggest a slightly bigger town nearby where there would be more to keep you occupied or easier to get to. Or one with a station so he could get a train home and you could meet him at the station?

BottleOfJameson · 07/06/2018 09:19

It really depends. Why aren't you invited to lunch too? Does he have a car and licence? Could he get there without you driving him?

BottleOfJameson · 07/06/2018 09:21

Sorry X-post. If he is perfectly capable of driving himself and just wants to have a drink then no I don't think I would. I can understand catching up with his sister one on one but surely he doesn't have to get drunk?

Tambien · 07/06/2018 09:21

Why can’t he drive there?
Is it only so that he can drink? Or he actually doesn’t have a driving licence?

TheMaddHugger · 07/06/2018 09:22

How Unbelievably Odd

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 07/06/2018 09:22

I wouldn't think twice about doing this for my dp but I think it's off that your not invited to join them. I'd say I'm happy to drive as long as in invited if they don't want you there then he can make his own way. You're supposed to be family.

Fruitcorner123 · 07/06/2018 09:22

I would drive him but I would suggest a different location so that you can go and do some shopping or something. Better still he could get himself there by public transport/taxi and then you could pick him up.

He needs to use a bit of common sense when choosing the location, surely it doesn't have to be that rural.

Tambien · 07/06/2018 09:22

Why are they meeting up in such a remote location???

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