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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

966 replies

whatwouldbe · 06/06/2018 05:37

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

OP posts:
hallygore · 08/06/2018 16:37

I can't believe people are picking on you for not getting your holiday in early enough. My husband has to get his requests in in January to get any time off in school holidays and even then he sometimes doesn't get them. It's frustrating but that's how it is!

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2018 17:37

Mymom is clearly the best “mom” of all. Ugh! 🙄💖

Cornishclio · 08/06/2018 18:05

They will be fine and be kept busy. Maybe let them have some downtime at weekend rather than rushing around doing things with them. I am laughing at the idiocy of posters saying it is cruel to send them to holiday club. Take no notice of your family particularly if they are not offering help.

nannykatherine · 08/06/2018 19:51

can you afford a summer hols nanny

Gabilou · 08/06/2018 20:30

I’m doing the same. It’s not cruel it’s needs must. Anyone describes a hardworking mum as ‘cruel’ for doing so is an arsehole. You don’t have a choice and neither do they.

bridgetosomewhere · 08/06/2018 20:37

Have you asked the PSAs at your sons school what their plans are over the summer? A lot of them (like me) will be looking after kids during the hols and will come to your house and have both kids.

That way they can chill a bit if you want them to?

inabeautifulplace · 08/06/2018 20:47

You'll still have the same amount of holiday, it just means you'll be able to see your kids more in other school hols. So not really any different from other people in the long run.

Your kids will have a great summer :)

pollymere · 08/06/2018 20:51

Maybe look at different types of holiday club. I used to do drama and dancing ones which I loved. It's really tough on you and dc, especially as no friends have offered to help. Maybe try to have some fun weekends or chill and relax sessions. Maybe try and do something nice for the bank holiday weekend.

gluteustothemaximus · 09/06/2018 00:49

You'll still have the same amount of holiday, it just means you'll be able to see your kids more in other school hols. So not really any different from other people in the long run.

It’s nearly taken an entire thread. But THIS EXACTLY ^^

liquidrevolution · 09/06/2018 09:18

I remembered another weird holiday where I had to spend the week in a van with a weird smelly bloke who lived down the road and delivered new car batteries and collected old ones. That was a special kind of shit. The 70s were odd.

Your kids will be fine.

TheMythicalChicken · 09/06/2018 10:17

liquidrevolution, that whole story is so 70s 😁. I remember one holiday my mum let me go to Nottingham with my aunt’s male lodger for a week. Mum had never even met him!

Compare that to my kids who are complaining about having to go to tennis camp in the holidays🙄.

MicheABC · 09/06/2018 11:30

Sometimes that’s the way it works. You can only do what you can do, based on your circumstances. Don’t listen to people’s negative comments. If your child knows he/she is loved and you’re doing your best they’ll be fine. There’s no need for extra Mum guilt, chin up, weekends can be used for down time, might be a tough 6 weeks, but I’m sure they’ll have a ball at holiday club.

VerbenaGirl · 09/06/2018 16:04

Needs must, and there's a lot worse places to be than a holiday club. Obviously it's not ideal - as it's not what you want, but I really do think it will be fine. Some holiday clubs do incorporate chill out sessions, and maybe you could check that out if you have a choice of clubs? Another option to throw in there - which a friend did for her DD, who really wasn't suited to holiday clubs, for a few summers running - could you find a uni student who is home for the summer and might want to earn a bit of money looking after your DS? Particularly well suited for a student studying something related to childcare or education. And maybe plan in some nice activities for your summer evenings and weekends - to make it all feel a bit different to term time.

Severide08 · 09/06/2018 16:04

hadenough wow judgemental much .The OP is working to provide a roof over her children's head and clothe and fed them. All those critising need to stop and think some people don't have a choice. OP don't feel guilty you sound a great mum ignore the judgemental comments they are just that comments don't give them headspace.

hibbledibble · 09/06/2018 17:51

I wonder what those judging the op for using a holiday club would think of my grandmother, who left my father home alone all day during the school holidays from age 5? It used to be common practice.

Nowt wrong with going to holiday club.

Icanttakemuchmore · 09/06/2018 20:16

It's no different to all those parents who take their dcs to nursery all through the hols. Needs must I'm afraid.

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