is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

ah but MaggieWaggie41 it would surely be better to make your point with some charm rather than hammer your views onto us? I too had parents who worked all the time - I would find my mother asleep all over the house - and I choose to be with my kids as a single parent but I will need to work very soon as we live in the South of England, my mortgage has gone up and we are getting increasingly skint...most Mums are doing their best. The OP knows it's not great but she is paying for the roof over their heads, the food on the table. Of course they would like some chill time at home with their Ma. Support other women...now you enjoy that secret triple gin MaggieWaggie ;-)

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread but may be an au pair? They could do fun day trips and chill at home and have a real cultural expereince. Would also be nice for you jot having to get them up and about in the morning and dinner at night - so you'd have a bit of a rest too. Hope you find a solution. You can't help the situation you're in and the fact that you care so much about it means you're lovely. If they do go into a camp it really isn't the worst thing in the world but it would be great for you to find a solution that might take the pressure off you a bit too.x

Sounds like you have no choice so instead of feeling bad I'd just make the most of the time you do get together and maybe try to save so you can take some time off in the future.

Also why would people make remarks and then they can't help you, what's the point in that 🙄

If you can find a CM, I think it would be much better for the children. 6 weeks of the same holiday club will become v repetitive and will be exhausting and The children will be on the go all day with no downtime. A CM would mean they could have downtime, are likely to be taken out on day trips and will give them a better opportunity to make some friends rather than diff children in diff days.

If thats really not possible, then I would at least use different holiday clubs so they can get some different experiences. E.g a week of a drama club, a tennis club etc

mums Have you actually read the thread and seen that the op's child is disabled and the club is particularly suitable? It has been discussed at length why it's not appropriate

This is getting like "cancel the cheque" now.

@MaggieWaggie41

You actually need to read about OPs situation before making your frankly horrible choices moments. You say your PARENTS, that's different to OPs situation she is a single parent.

You say no EXCUSES, the OP is giving no EXCUSES, she's giving reasons,

Also, how do you not prioritise putting food on the table and a roof over the children's head? It's not priority.

Not sure what your sanctimonious "I don't drink" declaration was about, no where does OP say she drinks. So you're no wonderful human being based on that.

OP comes across as a great resourceful mother whose children will grow up with values and understanding. You however come across as sitting on your high horse and no doubt will pass that Nast
Y trait to your children.

Remember some people struggle to meet daily costs.

Yes but op asked if she was BU. There is always differing opinions in AIBU so perhaps OP shouldn’t have posted in this section if all she wanted was reassurance.

@Itchytights really??? She maybe posted in AIBU for traffic. But I must be one of those drinking parents that can't see where she says AIBU?

She asks have you done it and was it ok?

Maggie, stop being a twit, what good is it for the OP to spend more time with her children if the result is that she cannot feed, clothe or house them? She’s a single parent who can’t get time off and is quite rightly prioritizing her ability to earn money to support her DC. Try reading her posts. It will help.

You don't have a choice so I say ignore them or you'll drive yourself mad with guilt. Holiday clubs are nothing like school. They get to go on trips and get plenty of time just to chill as well. You have weekends to do nice things without worrying about school uniform etc.

Mine will be stuck at home bored all summer. I'm disabled and days out in school holidays are nigh on impossible because everywhere is so busy. If I can afford to I send them to holiday club just so they can do the trips out I can't take them on

Maybe next year don't leave it till June to try to book time off in the summer holidays.

@dontdoubtyourself how do you know that OP didn't try to book holidays until June?

OH haha, another fucking useless comment.

Not you, Clubcuts.

@dontdoubtyourself in fact I would say that she'd doubtfully get two holiday club spaces if it was left until June to begin ok them!

*begin ok = book

Still comments of the wanker variety going on I see.

What makes people think CM Is a better alternative, down time and day trips??

Do they not consider the Holiday Clubs do day trips every other day? With other things going on in the days they are in?

I've seen the programme for my DS holiday club I don't think they repeat the same thing twice. People who run these programmes know they need to do different things or kids will get bored silly.

It would be really helpful if people could read the op's posts even if the whole thread is too complicated for them where she explains:

One of her children has complex SN so a student, an au pair, a childminder, a friendly girl from the village and most nannies are entirely unsuitable.

The holiday club is an inclusive one which is suitable for children with SN

Her job allows her flexibility around DC hospital appointments at short notice

The lack of summer holiday is s collection of issues which won't happen again and she has already booked October half term off.

So unless posters claiming it's cruel are prepared to look after the op's dc for free including all the SN care, they can fuck the fuck off and then fuck off some more.

I wouldn't say useless. Everyone knows when the summer holidays are, they aren't a surprise. Failure to plan is planning to fail.

If there is no leave allowed then there is no leave allowed no matter when you try to book it. Dh has work periods where he would not be granted leave.

Where did the OP fail to plan?

"Failing to plan is planning to fail" .... I so wish there was a wanker emoji!!

OP your kids will be fine, you're not sending them up chimneys for six weeks, they'll have fun.

All this talk of exhausted children needing downtime, school isn't like work, they finish at 3pm for a start! My kids were bouncing off walls in the school hols desperate for things to do.