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Original poster

is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

966 replies

whatwouldbe · 06/06/2018 05:37

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

OP posts:
FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 07/06/2018 22:21

oh and then he would read them a story that would invariably end...
'and then....they ALL died'.

they thought he was hilarious...

Tiddlytubby · 07/06/2018 22:23

Hi! Needs must so try not to feel guilty. If you get paid sick leave and you find the children are struggling at any point...then remeber you dont have to provide a sick note for the first 7 days ;-)
I used to be dead set against this however now i work in hr amd see what goes on, I'm not anymore...

Good luck

Loandbeholdagain · 07/06/2018 22:24

I would go for a childminder in those circumstances. I think they are better at realising children need to chill out and it’s more of a break from the overly organised nature of schools than a big group situation. But if they aren’t available then it doesn’t really matter if it’s cruel or not as you have no option. I would hate to do it (as you clearly do).

lou2411 · 07/06/2018 22:24

Fourfriedchickens....hahaha made me chuckle lol :)

SandunesAndRainclouds · 07/06/2018 22:28

When DH was training as a teacher, he ran a club in the holidays. It was awesome - they had a great balance of activities and down time. Everyone, including the staff, loved being there and it was always a bit sad when they all went their separate ways at the end of the holidays.

It’s not ideal, but you have to do what you have to do.

SomersetMummy1 · 07/06/2018 22:44

I don’t know what you’re worrying about. You have no other choice

You should say to those people that are making those very unhelpful comments to you that perhaps they should offer to help

You need to work, you have no choice, so don’t beat yourself up about it

MaggieWaggie41 · 07/06/2018 22:55

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FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 07/06/2018 23:00

say what MaggieWaggie>?

ThatWhiteElephant · 07/06/2018 23:08

You have no other option.
The comments from your mum and friend are not helpful or kind.
Your DC have been there before and liked it. They will be fine.
Don’t worry and don’t be hard on yourself.

revelsandrose · 07/06/2018 23:11

The people saying they would never do it are horrible. Unfortunately some people don't have friends or family to mind their children for 6 weeks and it's always going to be difficult getting time off during summer holidays.
I know it's not ideal but just let them pick some fun or relaxing activities to do at the weekends and I definitely agree with a pp who said boom a week off for all of you in September.
You would get flamed for not working and claiming benefits and you get flamed for having to work, can't win.
And yes I have had to do very similar myself in previous years and my dc have survived pretty well.

embo1 · 07/06/2018 23:13

They will be absolutely fine!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/06/2018 23:21

All the people trying to lay a guilt trip on the OP - fuck off!

She has no choice.
It would be far worse for her to risk losing her job than putting her children, one with complex SN, into a holiday club for 6 weeks that will cater for their needs.

CM - not an option because of complex SN. Ditto au pairs, exchange students, girl down the road, college students etc.

OP is doing the right thing for her whole family, keeping her job to keep money coming in and a roof over their heads. THIS is her PRIORITY and it is far more important than the kids having a bit of downtime. This job gives her other flexibility for her child with complex SN - she can't risk losing it.

Some fucking people, honestly!! Angry

Nicknacky · 07/06/2018 23:31

maggie What's horrid?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 07/06/2018 23:33

oh MaggieWaggie wont be back now, she will have had one too many gins and staggered off to bed...

MaggieWaggie41 · 07/06/2018 23:45

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FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 07/06/2018 23:47

" but please don't you think we are all like you, "

I don't drink either, in fact, but you did sound quite pissed in your 'horrible horrible horrid' post. tbh,

Maybe it's just your natural style then.

NoSquirrels · 08/06/2018 00:03

work comes second for me, but hey ho don't we prioritise what's most important in life

I’m sure your employer loves you too, Maggie.

What’s most important in life when you’re a parent is making sure your children know they are loved, safe, happy and secure. Pretty sure OP has got damn fine priorities, tbh.

MaggieWaggie41 · 08/06/2018 00:10

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Shockers · 08/06/2018 00:13

I’ll say it again OP- my DD enjoys her special needs holiday club so much that she doesn’t want to come on actual holidays with us anymore. I work in school, so get 13 weeks holiday a year. We have to organise carers (she’s 19, so we have funding).

For many children (especially those with additional needs), routine is important, and school holidays are difficult without it.

Don’t feel guilty- it’s one summer holiday period.

Youvealwaysbeenthecaretaker · 08/06/2018 00:13

OP is the sole earner in her household. If she chooses to prioritise things other than earning money to ensure her children have shelter, food and clothing they will not thank her. Also may not live very long either. As for ' never taking time off', she's off at Xmas and half term, plus this is the first summer she's had to work all the way through.

Stephthegreat · 08/06/2018 00:14

It’s not ideal for your dc,sometimes being home even if doing not much is good for children.

Having said that when there’s no other choice then that’s that,I’m sure they will be ok.

myrtleWilson · 08/06/2018 00:15

Ah @MaggieWaggie41 is not able to read properly.... thats the problem. Never mind.

clumsyduck · 08/06/2018 00:21

Excuses ? Like having to go to work?

Way I see it is you have no choice so no need for the guilt op

jade9390 · 08/06/2018 00:28

I am sorry your friends and mother have said it is cruel, when you have no other option and they are not offering to help. You are doing your best. Tell them to shut their cake holes, you deserve less critical friends

patq1967 · 08/06/2018 01:24

have you thought that they might like it , it is not school and they get to do fun things with kids there own age , plus it gets them out off the house with no tv or internet , just having fun running around playing

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