is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

This isn't ideal, but what can you do?

This is a clear example of why 6 weeks in the summer is a bad idea, but any poster who suggests any other system is slated on here. I don't get it.

Good luck OP. I would start looking for a more accommodating job so this doesn't happen next year. In my job everyone would get some leave in the school hols if they wanted it.

It’s your friends and your Mum who are being cruel to you by criticising you. I’m sure they know you have no choice.
Your DC will be fine at summer club. Probably really enjoy it.
To make yourself feel better just ask your DC what things they’d like to do at the weekend and do your best to accommodate their choices and all will be fine.

OP honestly your kids are lucky to have such a lovely mum. I was left alone from a very young age with a video of New Kids on the Block to entertain myself for the whole holidays. I never did anything fun. Not only am i absolutely fine, i have a very good relationship with both parents because it’s what they felt they needed to do to keep a roof over our head. You are doing the best you can and your children will appreciate this.

I absolutely despised being in holiday care as a kid but other kids loved it so it's hard to say. If you can't take leave because you can't afford it/can't get time off that's different and not cruel. My mum refused to take time off even though she easily could have afforded it and had the leave to use but was too obsessed with her career to take leave. Ever. She never took leave except maybe Christmas. It was shit tbh

My DD was in full time childcare every summer as my work was seasonal. She loved it and has grown up to be a very happy and well adjusted adult. You'll still have weekends to have downtime and family days out.

I think some people need a reality check of what "cruel" actually means

You’re doing your best with little support, they’ll been fine & will probably have a ball!

Keep doing what you’re doing - looking after your little family. Hats off to you.

My kids are getting 1 week off but they wouldn’t mind (and I wouldn’t feel guilty) if they didn’t. Little one will be in nursery every day and eldest loves her holiday club more than anything. They do creative and active stuff all day, indoors and outdoors, then every few days watch a movie with pizza and popcorn at 3pm, and just veg. It’s bliss for her. She comes back with her face painted, having made slime, cookies, designed a tshirt etc. I think if you find somewhere that your kids love, they won’t resent any aspect of it! And you can look forward to a good October half term together maybe.
Mother’s Guilt is the most powerful force in the world!

Of course it's not cruel. Holiday clubs are fun; there are lots of activities & they get to spend with their friends or make new ones. It is not an additional 6 weeks of schooling so they will still have a break. You wouldn't be alone doing this at our school. Sorry that you won't get the time to spent with your kids but they will be fine.

You have no choice and I'm sure the dc will enjoy holiday club but I would try to mix it up a bit so they don't get bored. The student idea is a good one - they would get to chill out at home more.

Alien fuck right off.

Cruel? Seriously?

SPECTACULARLY unhelpful

slow handclap

OUAISMAISBON
Much better advice.

OP it's pretty shit you can't, but you can't - so don't beat yourself up about it and have your chill days when you can. Good luck. x

My son cried when I told him I had half term off work so he wasn’t going to Holiday club- he loves it! Please don’t feel guilty, you are doing the absolute best you can. Your children will be together and they will be well cared for.

You're doing the best you can OP, and these people criticising but not offering to help, need to do one.

In your shoes though, I think I might be ill for a couple of days...

Could you perhaps take a Friday or two off work? Or even Monday’s? Would your business be able to manage that? Then you can have long weekends with dc for you all to do something together.

However if you can’t your dc will be fine. They are somewhere where they will have fun and be safe. In years to come they will not remember this summer holiday as any different to others.

Not cruel; you haven't got a choice and good for you for making tough decisions. It's a compromise and the children will have fun.

I loved holiday club always plenty to do and new friends to make

Op please get the very notion that this is cruel out of your head. Beating your child or neglecting them is cruel. You being a single mum with a job which isn't particularly flexible, is far from unusual and not cruel at all. I have a comparatively flexible job and a dh and we will manage 2 weeks between us off work. 4 weeks the dcs will be in club. They will moan about it periodically. Such is life. Theyll get over it!

DC have been there many times before (but never 6 weeks - only 2 weeks maximum) and always liked it.

will definitely plan special time around the weekend. gosh, you made me feel so much better about it.

I think you're doing a great thing. You're children will thrive there doing fun activities. Better than than 6 weeks of x box and watching TV.
It can't be helped, there is no other option so go for it and stop feeling guilty.

This might be a case where yo could perhaps take them somewhere before the holidays so they can have a break? Or build something around October half term?

Is it going to be like this every summer or is it just this summer? I don't think it's fair if this is how it's going to be how it is every summer.

When I was a kid from about 7-11 years old I spent every school holiday (half terms, Chrsitmas, Easter and summer) at holiday club from about 9-6 even if my parents were off work. The only exception to this was if we were going on holiday. I really hope my parents didn't feel guilty for letting me go because I loved it!

oh gosh it is terribly cruel... well probably only according to ds who thinks that me cleaning his teeth is torture and that me saying no to him means I hate him...

otherwise maybe not ideal but presumably you will be off with them in other holidays. most jobs do not have work from home/13 weeks holiuday per year. so kids are going to be childcare a lot. yours just happen to have 6 weeeks insummer in a block instaed of more spread through the year.

You are doing your best. Ignore the comments from others who are being pretty cruel themselves in criticising you! Either ignore or tell them to mind their own fucking business.

whatwouldbe - it is NOT cruel. What a ridiculous thing to say. Cruel is neglecting your children (food/clothing), beating them, not caring for them. You are working to provide for them and will be a good role model. They will have fun at the holiday club!

Yes maybe it would have been preferable to have a week off with them but it's not possible due to your work circumstances.