To refuse this guest's request?

[Bloodybridget]

Very old friend of mine, who can be a total PITA but I am basically fond of her, has come to stay for a few days. She just asked me if she could have a bucket in her room to use if she needs a wee in the night!

We don't have a loo on that floor, she would have to come down one floor, as I do every bloody night. I said no! She has some health issues but is completely mobile. WIBU?

I have to say, it would make me too anxious to stay if the bathroom was downstairs and the bedrooms upstairs. Steep stairs would kill me, I have mobility issues. I do not have a bucket in my room!

I saw a horrible case where a visitor took a header down the stairs, not remembering the layout of the house. Broken neck, he died. Dramatic and probably extremely unusual. I always leave the light on when we have guests, especially since a visiting very young child pooed on the floor, having mistaken the cupboard door for the real door then being too late to make it out to the bathroom. Cleaning that up at 4am was just super! My silly fault for not leaving the main door open a bit more.

There is a big difference between a toddler using a potty for what is actually a very limited amount of time in the scheme of things and an adult having to deal with this indefinitely over many years until death.

Are they re-usable pads, HoppingPavlova, or do they go into landfill? If not re-usable, then I think it would be better to opt for a more planet-friendly solution at night ... wouldn't have to be a bucket ... maybe a proper commode

No, they are not reusable pads. They go in the bin and I take it they end up in landfill. This is one thing regarding landfill I refuse to lose sleep over. Unless you want you people to carry around piss/shit buckets on transport, to work, at the shops etc you probably need to accept that pads are going into landfill. No-one wants to carry pissy/shitty re-usable pads/pants around with them all day until they get home and can deal with them. That's the reality. Also, if you are so outraged about this fact I take it that you are covering every nursing home in your local area, encouraging them to use some sort of reusable products and are personally dealing with it all rather than expecting the staff to do so? I'm aghast at anyone chucking wipes down the toilet but also comfortable with these in landfill as again I don't think it compulsory for people to have to carry those around all day either after cleaning up. I'm pretty comfortable about doing my part to reduce landfill in all other areas whilst accepting that anything to do with excrement is going to go there.

To be honest I even think potties are gross. The toilet is where you do your business in a civilised society. Also, who wants to clean filthy potties? We had those little toilet insert seats for ours and steps up to the toilet when they were training. That's where they went from the get go - a toilet. Just wait until they are off and well clear to flush as little kids seem to think they will get flushed down for some reason . Even at daycare they had miniature toilets for little toddlers, they certainly didn't get them to go in little buckets and spend time cleaning them.

Gosh, so many prissy idiots on this thread. Like one pp said, it's urine, not sulphuric acid. Everyone kept pots under their beds a few decades ago. I can't imagine what would become of some of you if you had to stay somewhere with no plumbing for a while.

If she washes out the pot/bucket in the morning, there should be no problem. I don't think you were a very thoughtful host, OP.

It's a very inconvenient layout to have no bathrooms/toilets on the same floor as bedrooms.

Everyone kept pots under their beds a few decades ago.

Yes, because there were no toilets/indoor toilets. A few decades before that there was no toilet paper. By your reasoning it should also be okay to go splash one out, don't bother wiping, come out shitty and stinking and say it's okay that's what people did a hundred or so years ago, never hurt anyone. Why not throw the contents of the bucket out of a window into the street while you're at it. It's called progress and accompanying societal expectations.

I can't imagine what would become of some of you if you had to stay somewhere with no plumbing for a while.

Yes, like camping in the bush. Now everyone I know takes a camping toilet. But when I was young I don't recall these being available. One digs a hole. Use a bucket in the tent annex at night. Things like this. All completely acceptable BECAUSE THERE IS NO TOILET. If there was a toilet but someone thought, dang it, won't bother with that, I'll grab myself a bucket, well that's odd.

"No, they are not reusable pads. They go in the bin and I take it they end up in landfill. This is one thing regarding landfill I refuse to lose sleep over. Unless you want you people to carry around piss/shit buckets on transport, to work, at the shops etc you probably need to accept that pads are going into landfill. No-one wants to carry pissy/shitty re-usable pads/pants around with them all day until they get home and can deal with them. That's the reality. Also, if you are so outraged about this fact I take it that you are covering every nursing home in your local area, encouraging them to use some sort of reusable products and are personally dealing with it all rather than expecting the staff to do so?"

I don't actually see the "so outraged" part of my post ... just an alternative night-time suggestion. Did I touch a nerve there?

Bucketzilla!

Did I touch a nerve there?

Yes, because it's pretty outrageous that someone would suggest that the ideal way of dealing with incontinence is to having to deal with washing wee'd and/or shitty pads on top of everything else because if you don't you are an environmental nuisance. And suggesting this as if it was a novel idea no one had ever thought of? Pretty sure that's what people did in years gone by .............. Pretty sure each and every one of those people would be pretty bloody glad of the idea of modern incontinence products that they don't have to scrub excrement out of. Pretty sure if given the choice I know what they would choose.

Why are people even discussing this still? Apart from those who just love to be contrary, weirdly, the consensus it that the very idea is gross.

Oh - and this IS the 21st century in the western world.🙄

If it were me, I would get something like this myself and use it. (very carefully so as not to get wee everywhere).
www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/incontinence-shop/toilet-aids/urinals-and-urine-disposal/uribag-female-travel-urinal-1200ml.html

I think the issue is that she would have to go down a flight of stairs to go to the toilet. For someone with a weak bladder that would be a worry. (My DM has a weak bladder, so I do see the issue.) I suspect having a bucket would give the OP's friend some reassurance, much like a sickness bucket for someone who is unwell.

Everyone kept pots under their beds a few decades ago
.......
Yes, because there were no toilets/indoor toilets. A few decades before that there was no toilet paper. By your reasoning it should also be okay to go splash one out, don't bother wiping, come out shitty and stinking and say it's okay that's what people did a hundred or so years ago, never hurt anyone. Why not throw the contents of the bucket out of a window into the street while you're at it. It's called progress and accompanying societal expectations

And the same "progress" means that people who are 'horrified' at some sterile urine spending a few hours in a plastic container (which will be washed out) are perfectly happy to put 3 and a half years worth of wet and soiled nappies in their household bin for the Council refuse collectors to deal with after these nappies have spent a week simmering in the bin

She probably gets up a couple of times a night to wee. Some people do. She doesn't want to be traipsing through your house, putting lights on etc multiple times a night!

Give the poor woman a bucket.

As for the 'she might miss and wee on the floor'. Yes buckets are the same circumference as toilet seats generally.

She can empty it in the morning. Plenty of people don't flush their toilets at night.

What do you think happened in the days of chamber pots?

"it's pretty outrageous that someone would suggest that the ideal way of dealing with incontinence is to having to deal with washing wee'd and/or shitty pads on top of everything else"

"And suggesting this as if it was a novel idea no one had ever thought of?"

Er no ... that is not what I suggested you do. The nerve I touched seems to have a life of it's own!
What I suggested was a proper commode as a solution for night time use, as you had said you couldn't make it from your bed to the proper toilet (and yes, I do think that would be a more planet-friendly night-time solution, not to mention more comfortable than wearing a night-time incontinence product).

But, by all mean, if that doesn't fit what you want to say, then feel free to say I suggested whatever you like.