To refuse this guest's request?

[Bloodybridget]

Very old friend of mine, who can be a total PITA but I am basically fond of her, has come to stay for a few days. She just asked me if she could have a bucket in her room to use if she needs a wee in the night!

We don't have a loo on that floor, she would have to come down one floor, as I do every bloody night. I said no! She has some health issues but is completely mobile. WIBU?

I have a friend who does this - her reason is that she wakes every hour or so throughout the night to pee and constantly walking there and back disturbs everyone else (& to be fair thoroughly disturbs her sleep too)...... she might have this or a continence issue and be too embarrassed to admit it? Not an option I’d choose but horses for courses and all that!

If she’s such an old friend why can’t you ask her why she wants a bucket? I mean, it’s not the sort of thing you request for the sheer hell of it.

I recently had my appendix out, they put me on blood pressure tablets & some others as well. When I needed a wee, I needed it there and then...no messing about. A flight of stairs wouldn’t have happened. I didn’t exactly rush around telling people about it. (Thankfully as soon as I stopped the tablets it ceased being an issue).

I’d also just give her the bucket and put it on an old towel, just in case.

I’ve wee’d in all kinds of containers over the years, a bucket is easy to use, there’s virtually no risk of her ‘missing’ it, more chance of it getting knocked over.

It’s really not a big deal.

It used to be completely normal to use a chamber pot if there wasn't a toilet on the same floor.
I don't see a problem if you admit yourself you're not bothered about the bucket.
If she has a weak bladder, it'd be a bit cruel to cause her anxiety over being able to get there in time.

BlinkingBlimey yes, if I'm woken several times throughout the night by her going up and down the stairs it will serve me right, I guess!

I'm going to try and sleep now anyway!

ffs. If she is not disabled or incontinent (is that possible - maybe too embarrassed to say?) then no!

YABU. My niece who is late teens has anxiety about being the smallest distance away from a toilet. She would not get a moment’s sleep in your house as she would be worrying all night about having an accident. Giving your old dear friend a bucket is a small price to pay for her peace of mind surely?

Why doesn’t she bring her own bucket?

I have motion detecting lights along the hallways and in the bathrooms. Guests love them. I remember my mum was worried about getting lost and falling down the stairs on her way for a wee until she saw the lights.

Give the poor woman a bucket,it must take some courage to ask.
And why is everyone on MN so squeamish about a bit of wee.Unless you have an infection or eaten asparagus wee won't smell of much by morning.I am old enough to remember gazunders and have done the bucket and Chuck it on a boat and camping.

Suggest incontinence pads - the ones like pants/pull ups

I find this comment in very bad taste. Having a bucket in your room for stress incontinence when the loo is a long way off and rheumatism and stairs are involved is one way to solve a problem. Insulting somebody by suggesting incontinence pads when the problem could easily be resolved is extremely insulting and demeaning to the person with the problem.
I'm just gutted at the lack of empathy here.

🎶There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza🎶😂

As a kid I’d go to stay with my grandma in Liverpool. She had a downstairs loo so would have a bucket at the top of the stairs to wee in. That’s actually brought back some fond memories. Thanks :)

I clicked on this thread all ready to say YABU, that you should provide for your guests needs but I was wrong! She is being very unreasonable. If she has specific medical needs that require her to be on 10 feet of a loo at all times she should book an en-suite bedroom somewhere. Otherwise she uses whatever family facilities are available. Or buys a She wee or other female urination device. Asking you to give her a bucket is not ok. If she really wants a bucket to carry downstairs she can provide her own.

I say that as a person who lived with outside loos and 'gazundas' until I was in my late teens. When I first got my period I used to have to throw my towels on the kitchen fire for disposal with the commensurate stinky, meaty smell for everyone to appreciate. I now treasure flush loos, ensuites, tampons and all other sanitary conveniences.

She had a downstairs loo so would have a bucket at the top of the stairs to wee in

As a child in Leeds, our toilets were halfway up the street, so a bucket in the house was almost a necessity, certainly midwinter. I don't understand why people are so squeamish over a bit of pee. The woman is obviously anxious about getting there in time. Maybe she won't even use the bucket. Maybe she just wants it there for reassurance. I know I want to wee more when there's no loo immediately available. Perhaps that's how it makes her feel.

If a friend who was staying at my home requested a bucket to pee in during the night I would give her a bucket. There must be a reason for it. I wouldn't need to know the reason.

Ewww yanbu.

I’ve had friends pee IN my bed! They’re still friends! Give her a bucket. A gold plated one. Make her comfy in your home. That’s what friends are for.

I’m sleeping on my sofa for two nights cos I have a friend staying who has massive ocd and has Asperger. He has my room cos I haven’t sorted out the tiny spare room yet and I can sleep on a clothes line. It’s about making guests feel at home and I’d give her the bucket. If you do, would you call it Ida after my amazing grandma? She would have loved that

I'm not suggesting she piss herself but her issue might be that's she's afraid of not getting to the toilet in time.

How tight. Give her the bloody bucket. If it is just for wee, what's the big deal. Don't be so ridiculously squeamish. I'm sure she will wash it herself. I assume you don't drink or eat from the bucket? She's probably really embarrassed to ask and this is what she gets...a thread on Mumsnet.

Grow up.

If I were your guest, I would have discretely packed a travel potty and dealt with the contents in the morning.

I'm amazed at the wails of disgust on here- a pot under the bed used to be the norm for many

Yuk, no way would I be providing a bucket on a whim. If she has the confidence to ask for a bucket then she has the confidence to say why. It sounds like laziness

Yanbu, OP. Definitely not.

It used to be quite common - I remember my gps having a chamberpot in their bedroom when I was a kid, but then they grew up in the generation of no indoor plumbing and an outhouse in the garden. That was its designated purpose and it was emptied each morning as needed.

I have never heard of anyone asking a host for one though. If she always asks wherever she stays then I'm surprised that she does not have one she carries with her.

If she gets one I would suggest some form of waterproof mat to go underneath. I would say that you do not have a spare bucket that would be suitable for her, so either you can leave the light on or she is welcome to get her own bucket.

do you have drops of wee from her door to the loo this morning?