To refuse this guest's request?

[Bloodybridget]

Very old friend of mine, who can be a total PITA but I am basically fond of her, has come to stay for a few days. She just asked me if she could have a bucket in her room to use if she needs a wee in the night!

We don't have a loo on that floor, she would have to come down one floor, as I do every bloody night. I said no! She has some health issues but is completely mobile. WIBU?

I would be mortified to ask for this. I’d give her a bucket and a high chair mat. If she was staying for any length of time I’d see if I could hire a commode.

She's a few years older than me, Girlking, older but not old IYKWIM.

She is your guest, make her feel comfortable & give her a bucket. I'm sure she will empty it and clean it out.

What? What the actual fuck? Pissing in a bucket rather than walking to the toilet. That’s truly rank and YANBU to say no. I mean if she has a medical need that’s different, but if not no. And she always does this on holidays? So if she’s staying in a hotel she pisses in a bucket? Does she take a bucket with her to a hotel? How delightful for housekeeping.

www.amazon.co.uk/Travel-John-66918B-TravelJohn-Disposable/dp/B0019M7VE6/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?keywords=porta+john&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1528234035&sr=8-1

I buy these for camping - perhaps you could provide for your guests?

My gran used to wee in a bucket. The toilet was upstairs and she struggled but refused to admit she needed to move. Her house smelled of wee...

Oh dear god no. That’s crazy!

And anyone telling you it’s not is clearly having a chuckle.

Is she taking the piss? Sorry. Not sorry

She can be, shall we say, unusually demanding. But I was totally taken aback by this one, I asked if she was joking.

Enjoying this thread. I don't see a problem with the bucket. I have peed in all kinds of things, to save nocturnal travels. They don't need bleaching, either - a quick swill (or a dishwasher, if it's a drinking receptacle) is fine. Though I would have to feel very close to someone before I asked for a wee-bucket.

I am not a troll.

But surely she'd still need to go to the bathroom afterwards to empty the bucket and wash her hands. Unless she's planning on just leaving a bucket of piss in the room overnight and she doesn't wash her hands after she goes to the loo?

I think the request indicates she has continence issues. It’s hardly a standard request, is it?

You may find giving her a bucket so she can wee in your spare room without making a mess would be preferable to her wetting the bed/floors but you’ve clearly made up your mind.

I am seriously iron of stomach - I can cope with most things that would have many people heaving, but that's made me do a major cat's bum face. Can you leave a lamp on, on the landing or something? If she has a medical issue of some kind, could she sleep nearer the bathroom?

My Gran used to see in a bucket too.

What are her health issues?

She might have some she doesn't want to talk about?

I don't wake up until the last minute when I need a wee in the night, if I had to get downstairs there is no way I would make it without wetting myself. It's not something I discuss in real life, maybe your friend has a similar problem and is embarrassed about it, asking for a bucket is easier than going into the reasons.

Personally I would do this - mainly because my desire for my friends to feel comfortable and happy when visiting far out weighs any squeamishness about peeing in a room.

But then I've spent hours awake and other's houses, desperate for a pee in the night but afraid to get out of bed because the house is old, squeaky, I don't know where the lights are, I know the dogs will bark if they hear me etc. etc. It's miserable. It makes me reluctant to go back.

If you are set against the bucket then how about making the way to the loo really easy? Leave lights on and doors open between her room and the toilet so she doesn't have to worry about that. Clear pets out the way and reassure her that you won't mind if she wakes you/the household (if there are others) throughout the night when she gets up. Maybe even try the "we all sleep deeply so won't hear a thing" lie?

Of course you should give her a bucket and then show her to her overnight accommodation in the tent in your garden.

It might not be continence issues - she could have a knee or ankle issue & not want to manage the stairs in the night. Sometimes stiff joints take a few minutes to loosen up.

Fuck that! And pissing in a bucket on the same floor will be louder than a toilet on another floor!

That's gross. No way.

I can't believe people would even consider this acceptable!

I've said I'll leave the hall light on so she doesn't have to find the switch. I'm not going to provide disposable potties or commodes or effing buckets for able bodied people when we have two functioning loos in the house.

Lovestonap I am going to get one of those for my complaining FIL, always moaning about not having a downstairs loo, I am going to stick that in the garden so he doesn't need to go up the stairs to use the loo....