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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse this guest's request?

213 replies

Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 22:10

Very old friend of mine, who can be a total PITA but I am basically fond of her, has come to stay for a few days. She just asked me if she could have a bucket in her room to use if she needs a wee in the night!

We don't have a loo on that floor, she would have to come down one floor, as I do every bloody night. I said no! She has some health issues but is completely mobile. WIBU?

OP posts:
FermatsTheorem · 05/06/2018 23:05

I had an elderly relative who used to keep a bucket by the bed. Her bedroom smelled more than a bit as a result. Just for that reason, I'd say no to an able-bodied adult (assuming no issues round incontinence) who could quite easily negotiate stairs to get to the toilet.

ProudThrilledHappy · 05/06/2018 23:05

Oops ignore me Blush totally misread that

ADishBestEatenCold · 05/06/2018 23:07

Opps, just realised she's already there.

TrippingTheVelvet · 05/06/2018 23:07

Suggest incontinence pads - the ones like pants/pull ups.

raffle · 05/06/2018 23:07

So you truly think she’s asking for a bucket to pee in because she’s too lazy to go to the loo?

Really?

You know her best obviously, but I would be very very surprised if her request was due to laziness.

ADishBestEatenCold · 05/06/2018 23:09

"bet she’d be devastated to find that instead of helping her, you’ve popped on MN to share your disgust with the internet."

Good point.

Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:11

No Proud, a thinner pillow!

Yes it was a bit mean of me to post here about it, I was just so gobsmacked by the request, I wanted to see what other people thought. It did make me feel icky, and she has form for being unreasonably demanding. I won't put too many more details on here about her, just in case she's recognisable to someone else.

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 05/06/2018 23:14

Is there a B &B with en suite rooms that she can stay in instead?

EBearhug · 05/06/2018 23:14

How could you possibly give her a bucket? It should be a proper antique chamber pot. What sort of host would not provide a guzunda?

I am surprised I had to get as far as page 3 before someone said this.

When I was little (under 10), my grandmother always gave us a chamber pot under the bed when we stayed with them. We were not meant to leave the room in the night. (She may have done this for visiting adults, for all I know.)

I am not sure my knees would cope well with a chamber pot on the floor.

Lizzie48 · 05/06/2018 23:17

You don't even seem to like her, so why have her to stay anyway? It must have been very embarrassing for her to ask, so it's extremely unkind of you to mock her on here. You're definitely no friend. Hmm

Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:19

Lonicera she lives very near us. She is staying because she was away for a while and has tenants at her place who are there for a bit longer.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:22

Lizzie see above. There are things I like about her. And I'm not mocking her, actually. When you have known someone for half a lifetime, friendships are sometimes complicated.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 05/06/2018 23:26

I am relatively young but I always wear a pad - there is no way I could get down a flight of stairs without peeing myself. My best friend of many years knows nothing about this - perhaps she's the same ?

RoseWhiteTips · 05/06/2018 23:28

Dear god. Ewwwwwwwwe

Helloflamingogo · 05/06/2018 23:28

I give it half an hour before this is in the daily mail.

RoseWhiteTips · 05/06/2018 23:28

Re odd guest’s request.

RoseWhiteTips · 05/06/2018 23:29

Is your house a barn conversion, OP?Grin

Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:33

Rose are you joking - it's a terraced inner city house! God, I wish we had a flipping guest wing and could just leave people to get on with it!

OP posts:
claraschu · 05/06/2018 23:34

What on earth is the big deal? I would think nothing of using or giving someone a chamber pot. This would have been standard until a few years ago.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 05/06/2018 23:34

If she uses the bucket, how is she going to make sure she doesn't pee on your floor , men can aim their pee stream, but women can't, it comes out in whatever direction it comes out...what if it misses the bucket and lands on your carpet?Confused

Does she pee in bucket at her own house?

If she's so worried about it, can't she sleep downstairs on the sofa so she is nearer to the toilet?

Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:37

I guess tomorrow I should have a conversation with her about it. Or maybe if I just ask if the night was ok. Because I really don't want a bucket of piss in the bedroom.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 05/06/2018 23:38

Okay, maybe you're not intentionally mocking her. But I can't imagine anyone making that kind of request unless they had a serious continence problem. And it would be so embarrassing to have to ask at all. I would be mortified if my friend posted a thread about it on Mumsnet.

It would be better to say, 'No, I can't cope with that, I'm sorry.' (Which isn't at all unreasonable, I'd probably cope myself having been a care assistant in the past.) Then she can make alternative arrangements.

SaucyJack · 05/06/2018 23:43

Does she have anxiety about " going" in earshot of others?

Original poster
Bloodybridget · 05/06/2018 23:46

Well as her bedroom is two yards away from mine and from DP's , and the loo is on the floor below, I don't imagine that's the problem, SaucyJack.

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 05/06/2018 23:46

zzz

Lots of women have continence issues whilst appearing to be fully able bodied Hmm

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