To want just one day where I don't get upset by my ndds behaviour

[paranoidanxiety2018]

So today is my birthday, and as we don't have much money I saved the little we do have for my dds birthday (which is Tuesday), and made myself a cake. The sponge cam out beautifully and is probably my best yet. I left it on the side to cool over night ready to decorate. I was woken by my ndd (5 on Tues) at 7am wishing me a happy birthday with a cuddle and a card she made, only to walk in to the kitchen and find she'd taken a spoon and destroyed my cake!!
Why my stuff?? It was going to be a thing of beauty with vanilla buttercream icing and half strawberries all over .
In the last 2 weeks she has broken or almost about 4 items that mean alot to me or things that I desperately needed. Like the whole brand new box of plasters, may seem stupid, but I split the crease of my toe right open (she knew about) and needed those plasters to keep the split clean, dry and fixed to prevent it splitting more, I had no money to buy more. My hobby involving 3 weeks of hard work she came into my bedroom and drew all over it in the early hours.
She doesn't do this to her own things and is in fact the most careful child I have ever met when it comes to her things... so why mine??
Aibu to have wanted just my birthday to be a day where I don't cry, don't feel like she hates me, and don't just want to be mean??
I really really wanted to say something to her, anything to get my hurt and frustration out but i managed to stop myself, realising tht it would solve nothing and only make her as upset as me, so just said "Go to ur room, please"

Lock your door

Do you mean your next door neighbour? I'm confused.

How is she able to get in?

Step daughter?

God this is hard work. Can you clarify what NDD means please.

Your not so dear daughter?

Neighbours Dear Daughter?

Do you mean naughty dd?

What do you normally say when she does this? I thought an almost 5 yo would know better but maybe this is just 'normal' behaviour. I don't think it would've amiss to let her know you're upset though? Or how will she understand that this behaviour isn't acceptable?

Tell her off? Whoever she is! (ndd??)

Yes and as others have said what does the N mean?

Is she your daughter?

Sounds like there need to be stricter consequences. At 5 she should know better than to dig into a cake like that. You say you didn't want to say anything to her in case it upset and frustrated her - if that's a pattern it's no wonder she's naughty, as she knows she can get away with it. Age-appropriate punishment is going to be required.

Next day delivery.
Got to be.

I really really wanted to say something to her, anything to get my hurt and frustration out but i managed to stop myself, realising tht it would solve nothing and only make her as upset as me, so just said "Go to ur room, please"

And what effect do you think that will have?

Ndd? She's still young but you are the parent... is it just the two of you?

You need to stop this behaviour now
.. at almost 5 she knows not to.touch other things belonging to others and especially knows not to draw on things. Discuss how her actions are hurtful and how she would upset if you destroyed something of hers.

OP please could you please come back and tell us what an ndd is? Happy birthday by the way!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one confused by ndd. Thought I was being quite dense at first

NDD? Can't work out if this is your daughter or someone else?
Sounds like it's time for a talk about respecting the property of others (liken it to how careful she is with her items etc).

Has to be the daughter as she referenced the birthday twice. I’d say she’s old enough to understand that she must not break things and to have consequences if she does.

What?! Is this your kid, someone else's, or who? Who I this?!

If it is your child, give her a consequence, at five she should know not to eat cake left out. Take something away, shout, sit her on a step, but do bloody something. If she is getting up in the night and wrecking stuff, lock her door. Get an alarm, sleep on the floor on the landing... why are you just blindly accepting this behaviour?

Not Dear Daughter?

But no, you're the parent, you don't get a day off from her. What you do get to do is teach her appropriate behaviour and give her appropriate punishments when she doesn't live up to it.

Sponge cake left out on the kitchen counter.....4yo takes a spoon and helps herself while you are in bed having a birthday lie-in.

Sorry YABVU.

Not dear daughter obviously. OP missed out an apostrophe, adding to the confusion. 'ndds behaviour'should read 'NDD's behaviour'.

She’s talking about her dd as her dd is 5 on Tuesday. So is NDD.

Naughty darling daughter?

You need boundaries. No way should she be allowed to do things like this. I would confiscate her things for this sort of behaviour and have a sticker to encourage good behaviour.

Also wondering what ndd is.

Locks. If she can’t behave around your stuff. Star locks on the outside of doors work well (have a severely autistic son so am well practiced in keeping things/him safe).