To want just one day where I don't get upset by my ndds behaviour

[paranoidanxiety2018]

So today is my birthday, and as we don't have much money I saved the little we do have for my dds birthday (which is Tuesday), and made myself a cake. The sponge cam out beautifully and is probably my best yet. I left it on the side to cool over night ready to decorate. I was woken by my ndd (5 on Tues) at 7am wishing me a happy birthday with a cuddle and a card she made, only to walk in to the kitchen and find she'd taken a spoon and destroyed my cake!!
Why my stuff?? It was going to be a thing of beauty with vanilla buttercream icing and half strawberries all over .
In the last 2 weeks she has broken or almost about 4 items that mean alot to me or things that I desperately needed. Like the whole brand new box of plasters, may seem stupid, but I split the crease of my toe right open (she knew about) and needed those plasters to keep the split clean, dry and fixed to prevent it splitting more, I had no money to buy more. My hobby involving 3 weeks of hard work she came into my bedroom and drew all over it in the early hours.
She doesn't do this to her own things and is in fact the most careful child I have ever met when it comes to her things... so why mine??
Aibu to have wanted just my birthday to be a day where I don't cry, don't feel like she hates me, and don't just want to be mean??
I really really wanted to say something to her, anything to get my hurt and frustration out but i managed to stop myself, realising tht it would solve nothing and only make her as upset as me, so just said "Go to ur room, please"

Oh dear, this thread went a bit south quickly didn't it?

Firstly, Happy Birthday, OP

I don't think being in bed on your birthday at 7am during half term is a sign of neglectful or chaotic parenting. It's quite normal, imo. And I doubt the child was starving. She ate the cake because she's 5 and it's cake.

I don't think, at 5, she is old enough to deliberately target your things OP. Cake is delicious, plasters are fun, helping mum with her craft project is fun.

If she's getting up before you and getting into mischief (which most five year olds would do) you need to arrange something for her to entertain herself with in her room. Have you tried leaving some books or drawing things in her room and a clock with the instruction to not get up until the clock says X time?

If that won't work you need to child proof your home. I have a dog so there's no chance I'd leave a cake on a counter a five year old or a dog could reach, it would be on top of a cupboard or on the fridge. Ditto the plasters, my kids loved playing with those, so I started hiding them out of reach else they'd be stuck on teddy bears and dolls or in their hair.

Try involving her in your hobby. I think she probably just wanted to help. Five year olds aren't really clever enough to think 'Mum really loves this thing and I hate her so I'm going to destroy it'. If you teach her how to help properly and do it together, she's less likely to surprise you by making it pretty while you're not looking.

And do take a trip to your GP if you feel anxious or a teary a lot of the time. They are there to help and won't judge.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday OP. If you can get to one, Tesco, Asda and the like often reduce birthday cakes after 8pm ish.

It's not next door's daughter though. She said the told her to go to her room. She would have said go home if she lived next door!

It would help if the OP came back to the thread!

Who the fuck posts a thread, and then logs off immediately, and doesn't come back - even after 3 hours?!

She's 4. Supervise her. Don't allow her access to things you consider so previous and stop thinking she's doing it deliberately to upset or anger you.

I’m guessing not darling daughter, which is a pretty shitty way to describe a 5 year old really.

*precious

There are days where I think this about my daughter who is almost 4. Then I remember she's JUST almost 4 and she doesn't mean it. You also need to put boundaries in place and why on earth is she in the kitchen on her own?

Like many other posters, I think you might need some support IRL. Please go and see your GP, you aren't thinking straight.

Hugs to you.

I think OP has gone back to sleep and left NDD to finish the cake for lunch.

I don't get up until someone tells me they're hungry during half term. DS2 just connects to WiFi and DD's usually asleep! I'm a terrible parent!

@UserV I'm guessing OP won't come back.

This thread has turned into a nasty pile on of people criticising her parenting, her child and her writing.

She has posted with a name that suggests she is struggling with anxiety. She has stated she's struggling financially. She knows she's probably being a bit OTT and is begging for support, kindness and empathy.

Instead the vipers are out in force and denigrating her.

Very sad.

Happy birthday OP, it's OK to be upset about your cake! Hope you can still enjoy what's left of it and keep going.

I doubt the OP will be back. But I don't think many people have been horrible. Many people just seem to be asking what NDD means!

I was overjoyed when DD1 learned how to pour herself some cereal and turn the TV on. In fact, wasn't there a thread about the very same thing on here a few days ago?

Were those posters accused of being chaotic and neglectful?

OP maybe needs some support from her GP but some wild conclusions have been reached on this thread. I doubt she's in bed, she's probably staying away from the thread because of the assumptions being made about her and her parenting.

Some kids can self supervise on the morning cutting cakes with potentially knifes and tearing into craft stuff and first aid kits probably isn’t that stage yet .

Ndd is NEXT DOORS DAUGHTER

Thanks for clearing that up for us.

Except that makes no sense in the context of the post.

Why is the next door neighbour allowing their 5 year old to come into your house at that time uninvited??!! YADNBU!

This is a stitch up. Someone's taking the piss at the 'typical' MN user. Look at the OP's username, the abbreviation that no one can understand, responder starting to snip at each other....

It wasn't with a knife, was it? She used a spoon. You don't have to read between the lines or jump to conclusions for that one, it's right there in the OP.

Plasters aren't a first aid kit, they are strips of fabric with some sticky stuff on, not needles and and scissors and OP did not say that happened when she was in bed posters have just assumed she was. Any child would play doctors and nurses with their dolls if they found a box of sticking plasters, in fact, I'd assume most of the children whose parents are denigrating OP on this thread have found little Jane/Johnny sticking elastoplasts on their barbie/power ranger toys at least once.

The craft thing happened in OP's room while OP was in her room. How many of us here have woken up to find a child in our room who wasn't there when we went to bed? All of us, I'd guess. Are we all chaotic and neglectful?

OP, have tried putting a collar with a bell on her? That way you'll hear her when she sneaks into your room in the dead of night. Alternatively, lock her in her room or attach an alarm to her bedroom door.

@mimibunz I hope so

@SendYouUpinFlames

Next Door's Daughter is hardly likely to be in the OP's bedroom in the early hours...

I get the whole plasters thing, my kids love them. In-fact I once found them a bit quiet in the bathroom, I went in to find Peppa pig plasters and a box of sanitary towels arranged like a mural on my bathroom tiles.......sigh.

MumofBoysx2 "Why is the next door neighbour allowing their 5 year old to come into your house at that time uninvited??!! YADNBU!"

They're not!

NDD = Not Dear Daughter/Not Darling Daughter (depending on what you think DD stands for). Nothing to do with the neighbour. I don't know what the last 2 posters are trying to convey with their 'hmm' faces. Is that to the OP or the last post they read?

just joining in.