To want just one day where I don't get upset by my ndds behaviour

[paranoidanxiety2018]

So today is my birthday, and as we don't have much money I saved the little we do have for my dds birthday (which is Tuesday), and made myself a cake. The sponge cam out beautifully and is probably my best yet. I left it on the side to cool over night ready to decorate. I was woken by my ndd (5 on Tues) at 7am wishing me a happy birthday with a cuddle and a card she made, only to walk in to the kitchen and find she'd taken a spoon and destroyed my cake!!
Why my stuff?? It was going to be a thing of beauty with vanilla buttercream icing and half strawberries all over .
In the last 2 weeks she has broken or almost about 4 items that mean alot to me or things that I desperately needed. Like the whole brand new box of plasters, may seem stupid, but I split the crease of my toe right open (she knew about) and needed those plasters to keep the split clean, dry and fixed to prevent it splitting more, I had no money to buy more. My hobby involving 3 weeks of hard work she came into my bedroom and drew all over it in the early hours.
She doesn't do this to her own things and is in fact the most careful child I have ever met when it comes to her things... so why mine??
Aibu to have wanted just my birthday to be a day where I don't cry, don't feel like she hates me, and don't just want to be mean??
I really really wanted to say something to her, anything to get my hurt and frustration out but i managed to stop myself, realising tht it would solve nothing and only make her as upset as me, so just said "Go to ur room, please"

She sounds terrritorial and like a thug. Sorry about the cake. She needs to learn. No cake for a month. She will remember.

a thug??

Not Dear Daughter?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Is it bad I'm commenting just to find out what ndd means?

I can't comment until we find out what NDD means!!

Also, if, as it sounds, she's too young to be enteraining herself unsupervised, the solution is don't leave her unsupervised. Make sure you or DP are woken when she wakes and gets up with her.

Of course there will be a moment when you forget, are concentrating on something and she paints or crayons on something she shouldn't. Totally normal behaviour. Mostly though, it's about keeping her occupied, constructively.

I need to know what ndd is 🤔

I thought the thread title ndds was “next door’s dear son” 😂. So confused.

I too am worried here in the way you have described your daughter's behaviour and your response to her.

The feeling I get when just reading your OP is that she is trying to get your attention in different ways, from a lovely birthday card this morning to getting up in the middle of the night and scribbling over your work that took you 3 weeks to do and then also today destroying the cake whilst you were in bed. You don't say how you reacted to the birthday card, but just say a flat "Go to your room please" when you see the cake.

I think your mental health is an issue, and you need to see your GP in the first instance - many parents incl myself have done just that so don't be worried about it. If you have friends/family/partner please get some support from them at this time.

I really hope you can do the above as life can be so much better than how you are feeling right now.

NDD next doors daughter

I also think it must be not dear daughter.

The whole tone of the post is worrying to me. It comes across that OP views her daughter as some kind of malicious being that wants to upset her all the time. I think OP needs to seek some outside help.

Just to add, there may well be attachment issues here OP, and if they continue, they could get worse behaviour wise for your DD as she tries to get your approval and to notice her and you push her away. Please get some support so things can get better for both of you.

I'm also inclined to think you need some help. It's possible that your daughter is angry and resentful, but not able to express it properly. If you spend a lot of time either sleeping or crying, because your MH is not good, then she may well alternate between wanting to comfort and wanting to punish you, because your behaviour frustrates or scares her.
What's she like at school? have her teachers expressed any concerns?

Not RTFT and assuming this is your daughter.

A 4 year old that made you a card and came in to wish you a happy birthday and give you a hug, it will be possible to talk with her about the cake-spoon episode.

But she was on her own this morning and came down to find a cake. It is not that surprising it interested her more than her own things. Obviously you should tell her that she shouldn't take food without asking and that you are annoyed because this cake was a birthday cake, other than that I don't think disaster has happened.

She doesn't hate you and if you are crying every day I would wonder the way you are feeling is causing most of the problem. There are things that can help but I would check if you have depression.

I need to know what NDD is

Ndd is NEXT DOORS DAUGHTER

🍿

It's like you lot have never come across a typo before!

Happy birthday. Even DS 6, who used to need constant supervision, wouldn't have thought of going into the kitchen and helping himself to food. The SENCo thinks he has poor impulse control, does this sound like your DD?

Wow. Self centred for making herself a birthday cake? Really? The OP stated she doesn't have any money and made the cake as a treat. And 7 am is hardly a lie in.
Happy birthday OP I hope your day gets better. You DD is 4 and whilst she knows right from wrong and should not be drawing on your hobby things the plasters is not really a big issue. I would be annoyed at the cake - do you have enough ingredients to make one together - make her proud to be making a cake for you?
It's hard I know - you sound really down. Do you have anyone to talk to?

Surely it can’t be next doors daughter; unless OP leaves the front door unlocked, she couldn’t be there at 7a.m. and OP would send her home, rather than to her room.
I wouldn’t have left a sponge cake out overnight anyway.

It’s obviously her daughter unless next door’s daughter shares the exact same birthday (Tuesday) and is also turning 5.

I just asked my 4dd she said she would eat it straight away. Interesting if anyone watches the extradionary life of 4/5 year they leave chocolate and fruit on and told not to touch it several of them do. It’s typical behaviour of a child that age

FFS @paranoidanxiety2018 come back and tell us what the fuck NDD means!

If it IS your daughter, it sounds like fairly common behaviour from some 4 year olds.

It also sounds like you are not coping and need some help.

FFS @paranoidanxiety2018 come back and tell us what the fuck NDD means! hmm

If it IS your daughter, it sounds like fairly common behaviour from some 4 year olds.

It also sounds like you are not coping and need some help.