Pregnant with (extremely) new partner. Fuck.

[Llamaface123]

DH left 2 years ago. Have rebuilt my life with DS (6) and he sees him a few times a week.
I started seeing someone late December. He is a friend of a friend and she set us up.
It's been wonderful. He is lovely and has made it clear that he sees us having a future together.
I have been feeling sick for a couple of days and my breasts are very tender. Yes, you guessed it...im pregnant.
We are incredibly careful so I don't know what has happened. We have never-and I mean never-had sex without a condom.
I don't know what to do. DS has no idea that this guy is even part of my life (I only see him when DS is at his dad's). Im in a complete muddle and I need to know if I have more options than not having the baby. It's too soon/how would DS cope/ logistics.
The thing is I want the baby. I've been broody for a long time and while it's early days, I really do love my new partne, but are my hormones clouding rational judgement?
It's a bad idea, isn't it??
Fuck shit bollocks.

I got pregnant the very first time we slept together FFS! I wanted the baby (and thankfully, so did he).

We decided to give it a go and 10 years later we're still together and have 2 kids.

It can work.

It sounds like you want the baby. And your DS will love the baby too. The months between now and when your baby's due are a huge amount of time for a child, so don't worry too much about your DS now - he would adjust well in time, it's not like the baby's due tomorrow.
If you want the baby, have the baby. Congratulations!!

I think it sounds as though you very much want the baby and your medical history and age suggest you may not get another chance. All firstborn children struggle a little to adjust to a new sibling regardless of age. At 6 he’s at least at an age where he can feel sure of your love and understand that you don’t love him less now you have two as they bring their love with them.

It’s important for you to take to your partner but you must get your own head straight and know what you want to do before telling him. Don’t make a decision to please or keep him whichever way round that falls. If you’re happy, you want the baby and are prepared to go it alone then you should have it. By the same token, if you do not want to continue or you’re in heavy debt or something else that will pile stress upon stress then consider whether a termination is a better option for you. But make your decision before you tell him. Good luck!

I was pregnant with DS1 5 months in to a relationship. I was 21.
22 years and another DS later and we're still very happy.
Take some time to consider what YOU want. It can definitely work if it's what you both want, so I'd tell him at the weekend, but be prepare for him to also need some time to process things.
Good luck

Do you think your DS would cope ok if the baby had any additional needs?

Sorry not really sure how to put it more sensitively. For example my DSS's are both on the autistic spectrum (they went to special schools) and although they are lovely boys life has been that much more complicated.

Have the baby, you want it. That's a bloody good indicator that you'll be fine whatever the outcome.

Talk to your boyfriend. I'd go for it myself.

But I think about baby cuddles and how much fun it can be (not teething, teething can go fuck itself) and i get all gooey.

My priority would be the child I already have and if this is best for the little family I have in the long run.

I got pregnant a few weeks after meeting my now DH. We’re still together 10yrs later..

I think it's worth bearing in mind that it doesn't have to be all or nothing - single mother or full on relationship. Of course a baby changes things, but you could still co-parent without living together. Really you can make your own rules that suit you and your son, should you go ahead with this pregnancy.

Congrats! Just cos your DP is new doesn’t mean things can’t work out. Lots of people in long relationships don’t make it; length of time together isn’t a guarantee of happy-ever-after.

I think you’re shocked but quietly excited 😊- I wish you all the best!

Kids adapt to changes. If it was difficult to conceive before I think you would be mad to have an abortion and risk it never happening again. If it were me I'd go for it. Don't forget that 9 months to us goes really quickly but 9 months to a 6 year old is absolutely ages - gives you time to prepare him. Hopefully the relationship will work out, otherwise you have a lovely little family anyway! Good luck!

I got pregnant 5 months after meeting DP, who was my very first online date a few weeks after breaking up with a very long term partner.

Sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 3 months but we got pregnant again (this time on purpose!) a few months later resulting in DC1 who is now 16 months old.

I've genuinely never been happier, but I'm also extremely uncomfortable though as I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant with DC2

Sometimes these things are just meant to be.

In your position I'd terminate personally.
Enjoy your life now you've got it sorted.

But good luck wahyever you choose

Are you absolutely, 100% sure you're pregnant? If so, talk with your partner as soon as humanly possible. You won't be able to make a firm decision until you do.

What I, or any of us, would do is irrelevant. You clearly want this baby, so have it. Just be prepared to go it alone and prepare for that.

Good luck xx

ah it'll be fine lovely. if your want it, you want it! DS will soon adjust.

Congratulations.
At your age, I think you are mature enough to know a good man from a less so one! And he sounds decent! And even if it doesn't work with him, you can still do this. I also don't think five months is extremely new. I knew by then that my husband was The One. I'd keep the baby. Most likely your son will love a sibling. I have a slightly smaller gap and my son adores his little sister.

9 months is nearly 1/6 of your DSs life. I remember the 6 week holidays as a child lasting longer than a year in my adult life with how time stretches out.
Talk to your partner. If it wasn’t for your health issues I would terminate, but they change that. No judgement either way. What a difficult situation.

I got pregnant one month after meeting dp - we are married 10 years now and very happy

I wouldn't be introducing a new partner and then a new baby within 8 months of each other to a 6 year old. Especially one who is probably only just fully understanding your break up.

I think you should put your son first.

If you want the baby, have the baby. Don't put too much weight on what the man thinks or wants: you barely know him. He might be a nice chap or he might be a scrreaming tosspot - but the same goes for lots of men nyway.

The thing is I want the baby. I've been broody for a long time

Have the baby.

DS will be fine. It’ll be no time at all before he can barely remember a time before the baby was part of your lives. If you just tell him (not for a good while yet!!) that he’s going to have a baby brother or sister, it won’t even occur to him how it got there!

Talk to ‘New Man’. Don’t be too surprised if his initial reaction is ‘oh fuck, you’re not are you?’ But give him time to come to terms with it then see what he wants to do about your relationship. Hopefully he’ll be as shocked but delighted as you are, but if not, well...just as well you found out now isn’t it.

Just remember, your body, your decision 💐

I had a similar situation but relationship was 10 months new and my first child was 5, I had a mirena coil, boyfriend was 40 with no kids. We had the baby, he didn't move in until a week before baby was due. My 5 year old hadn't met him until I was pregnant. What made me keep it was my 5 year old said to me when I was reading her bedtime story 'hello baby, my baby brother or sister is in your tummy'. It was just totally random and they had never mentioned babies before. Fast forward 6 years and we are still all together and have another (planned) child too. Yes I do really wish we had more time together as we were before pregnancy, but it all turned out well. Having babies and toddlers and young children is HARD. I think you do have to have a strong relationship before pregnancy for it to work or friends or family that can try and still have some time together to build on it.

If you got pregnant with condoms then conception probably isn't as miraculous a chance as you thought though, and you could always try again.

If it helps, I got with my partner near the end of March and by the 12th of April we found out I was pregnant. That was quick, worked it out and we fell pregnant the first time we had sex. Falling pregnant quickly is always tricky because you don’t know how that person will react, luckily for me it did work out and now are trying for number three (been together five years now.) I will say that you’ve done it alone so have an idea what that entails and if you feel you could go it alone with two if things didn’t work out, then go for it. Worrying about doing right by your child is normal I would say, but as long as you continue to love and spend time with them when the new baby arrives I’m sure he would be fine. Good luck with whatever you choose.