To think he should pay on first date???

[namechangerforthis123]

Had a 'frank' discussion with a girlfriend at the w/e who was outraged that I thought a first date should pay for dinner.

I am v independent, decent career, probably generally feminist views on the whole.
He made it v clear he liked me.

But it was such a turn off when he started calculating how much it was each! 

It just was a passion killer; can't explain why!!

Would be interested to hear the MN view on this. Get your flame throwers ready! 

why should he pay?

Yep guy should offer to pay for the first date. You can get the drinks at the pub after or something?
It shows what a tight arse he is.

If it was killing the mood for you, you could of just offered to pay

Yes, I'd say YABU, and it's nearly 30 years since I was dating. I would expect to split it then even. I do hope things haven't regressed that much.

The rule is technically whoever asked the other person out should offer to pay - but it is usually the guy who has asked out the girl first

Why should he pay?

I’d think it weird to expect a guy to pay in most circumstances. Splitting costs is best. There is no reason for it to be awkward.

I wouldn't have allowed a man to pay for me on a first date. Although my last first date was 25 years ago, I might feel differently now!

I think you just moved the feminist movement back by 50 years OP.

Why should he pay for you? You could just be after a free meal.

Why? Because he is male? May I ask what you would view to be 'correct' on a first date of two women? Two men?

YABU

You pay for all next time then .. saves counting

Callip - it’s whoever did the asking out
This is because the person asking out chooses whether to go somewhere expensive or not

Forgo a leg wax so you can pay half

Thats what i would do if it were me .

I'd expect to split. At least to offer to split.

If he paid I'd expect to pay the next time.

No reason, just felt it would have been nice if he'd offered.

But maybe he didn't so as not to offend me...?! Who knows

Never had a leg wax in my life!

He asked, pursued even. he chose the place

Why wouldn't you split it?

I dont think it matters that much. I would offer to pay half.

Well it would be a good way to ascertain if he really believed in equality.

I’m with you on this one OP 😂 would have been a (wholly irrational) turn off for me too - especially if he’d started to calculate how much each.
Just no

I would absolutely expect to split. And would feel pretty uncomfortable not splitting on the first date. Like...he was trying to buy me.

YABU if you thought he should pay just because he's a man.

But maybe he was also BU if he was making fuss about calculating how much it was each. That implies either he was going through the bill working out who had what, or else that he couldn't divide by two. I'd probably have found either of those things a turn off.

YABU, you should be paying your own way (or at least not assuming he will treat you).
I can see how a long to-the-penny calculation of 'his' vs 'yours' is a passion-killer though, as opposed to eg: a quick add up of the items to the nearest pound and round up with a tip. It would be tedious with a friend and a first date is supposed to be on best social behaviour.

@Luisa27 EXACTly!!!

A massive, utterly irrational, goes-utterly-against-most-of-my-largely-feminist-principles, turn off!!

'Errr, that's errr £30.52p each...'

Errr, nooooooo!!!!